2yr old hitting getting worse

[MindlessChrissy]

I just don't know what to do. DS has been smacking me exclusivly for months now. I've tried to redirect, I've told him "Ow. Hitting Hurts." I've tried "time out" or just walking away.

There is no reason for him to hit. He'll do it whether we're interacting or not. He just turned 2 on the 17th and his hitting has bled over to his grandmother and his daddy. Granted he doesn't so it to them nearly as much as he does me.

Just last night he cracked me on the head with a teddy bear container full of animal crackers. All I was doing was laying on the couch pretending to ignore dh. Ds got on the couch behind me, grabbed the container off the back of the couch and ramed my head with it. Dh grabbed him up, told him he's a bad boy for hurting mommy and had him sit on a chair for 5 minutes. When dh let him up, ds smacked me on the leg within minutes.

He now throws things at me. We were having a good time tonight and he winged his cup at me. Then grabbed whatever would fit in his hand and threw it, too.

Help me! What do I do to at least curb this? He's getting out of hand and I really don't want to knock him out.

[honeybunmom]

I'll be watching as my 15 mos old is hitting a lot. At least I can usually see it coming as he starts to chew his tongue . . . perhaps as he is sizing up just where he's going to strike. But, in the middle of the night, it's really not fun.

[marispel]

My DS (23 mo) was a hitter too, but it has gotten much, much better. The only thing we changed was talking about 3 rules when we are rocking him at bedtime. I read that children are extremely receptive to this type of information as they are winding down...right before they sleep.

So, after bath and jammies we cuddle up in a rocking chair and read 2 books. After the 2nd book we go over the 3 rules. The idea is to keep it short and simple, but to do this every night. The rules are:
1. Obey Mommy and Daddy.
2. Don't hurt yourself
3. Don't hurt others

When discussing the rules. I add a little bit more like "Obey mommy and daddy - if we tell you to do something, you need to listen to us. 2. Don't hurt yourself - don't bang your head on the floor. 3. Don't hurt others (this is a biggy) - no hitting and no throwing. You can rub mommies arm, but no hitting".

I then tell him what a good boy he was and how much I love him. I finish with one more book and prayers.

...I thought this idea seemed sorta crazy, but he has done so much better. The hitting has subsided almost to none. If he does get mad and want to lash out, I'll remind him to do rubs only. It has been working really well!

[crunchy_mommy]

Does he understand "gentle"? We introduced the concept for the sake of the animals but it has come to benefit us as well. We explain 'gentle' and gently stroke his arm or cheek, and ask him to do the same to us. Now when he is hitting/about to hit, we say, "Gentle please" and he immediately stops and gently pets my cheek (or the dog or DH's cheek or whoever/whatever he was trying to hit)... well, it works 99% of the time; the other 1% we just pick him up & remove him from whoever he was hitting & distract him with a favorite activity.

Goes along with "honor the impulse" I guess -- he wants to interact with you physically, so you need to show him appropriate ways, i.e. 'gentle' or hugging or tickling etc. I doubt sitting on a chair for 5 minutes would help because you are distancing him from the thing he wants contact with (i.e. you) and it likely will only make the impulse stronger until his need for contact is fulfilled.

Alternatively, if you feel like he's not desiring contact with you but rather the noise hitting makes, or the sensation of hitting, you could get him one of those toys where you bang a peg through a hole with a hammer, and redirect him to that whenever he tries to hit you.

[Auraji]

My 14m hits a lot. I don't know why, even random people. It makes me so embarassed. I keep saying gentle, soft, but it hasn't stick with her. I went to visit someone the other day and she was super nice to their cat, way better than she is with ours and I was surprised. People she will hit, even if they're strangers. I really really want this to stop.

[sailorgirl]

My daugther is 22 months, and the hitting has recently improved. We tried gentle touches, but for her, it wasn't honoring the impulse. She would usually hit when frustrated, or when told no. So we talked about being angry. And I taught her to clap her hands, stamp her foot, and growl when she is angry. We practice it, when she isn't mad, and I give her lots of praise when she uses it. Because she was mostly hitting when she was mad, the gentle touch didn't really work. She would use it when reminded, but it didn't fulfill her need to express her frustration.
So, that's my long-winded way of saying that I recommend trying to figure out why the hitting is happening (to get attention, express frustration, whatever), and try to meet that need in a more appropriate way.
Good luck, I really had a strong reaction to the hitting. It's frustrating.

[MindlessChrissy]

He is sometimes gentle with the cats. He knows what they are and will pet them, then smacks 'em. We say "no smack. pet the kitty. good kitty" then he pets them fine for awhile.

He hits cause he can? I redirect. I say ow. I tell him nice mommy (works for the cats). I give him full attention, he smacks. I give him no attention (like when I'm cooking and my back is towards him) he smacks. We play, he smacks. We're in town shopping, he smacks. In the tub, his favorite thing ever, he smacks. In the pool, he smacks. I keep trying to figure out why and, pleh.

He has been caught smacking the cats and saying bad kitty/baby/boy. I admit we have made the mistake of telling him he's a bad boy but we do not smack him (although the urge is there on occasion). I will try all the suggestions here and I know results take time. Thank you all for helping me.