3 y old DD driving me crazy- any good advice??

[newanto]

I am a SAHM with 3 wonderful children (5, 3 and 7mo) and lately I am having the most difficult time handling my daughter. She is very bright and energetic but from the moment she wakes up until she goes to bed I feel like I am walking on eggshells. Every little thing is a battle, and even though I try to be very patient ,I get so frustrated and tired of her behavior that I do not enjoy being with her as much as I should (and maybe she picks up on that, which exacerbates the problem).
This morning, for example, she woke up and began refusing every single choice presented to her for breakfast. She wanted ice cream (we never eat ice cream in the morning). I refused it, gave her a concise explanation and she threw a full on tantrum that lasted fifteen minutes, yelling and screaming as if she was being tortured. I am slowly becoming unsure that my approach to this is right at all, since my refusal/explanation/offer of alternative is almost always met by the same behavior.
Any ideas on how to handle things differently and help me keep my cool (I've began to lose a couple of times and ended up yelling at her and sending her to her room)? Help! I am at my wit's end!!!

[spmamma]

This is a hard age, isn't it? My DD is 3 as well. One thing I've discovered is that too many choices can make things more difficult. When fixing breakfast, consider offering two choices: "Would you like cereal or pancakes sweetie?" If she refuses both, calmly say, "Okay. Let me know when you're hungry later honey." Then let her go play.

If she has a tantrum, calmly tell her that you understand she wants ice cream for breakfast, wouldn't that be fun to do that every day? Then tell her that we need healthy food to feed our bodies and ice cream is a treat. Since we don't yell/scream/etc. at the table, she can do so in her room until she feels better. Then walk her to her bedroom and make sure she stays until she's finished (we sometimes put up the baby gate and leave her door open).

She can always comes back for a snack. At that point offer her two healthy choices that you know she likes that will fill her belly. If she refuses, same drill. It may take a few times, but she'll get hungry and quickly get that you won't battle over breakfast.

Hope that helps!

[mom2grrls]

Since she's waking up grumpy, how much sleep is she getting?