Nm. - Page 3

[cycle]

Have you yet reported your son as missing/kidnapped? Do you realize by not doing so (if you have not) it does not look very good for you. It has been several months and you don't have your son back, his father has blatantly broken the terms of the custody agreement. Why aren't you reporting this to anyone who can actually help? Getting the police and international law enforcement involved will cost you absolutely nothing. Have you thought about how your son must feel wondering why you aren't doing anything to find him? I am having a very hard time feeling any empathy or sympathy for you because I keep thinking of your son and how he must be feeling and what I, and most mothers I know, would be doing to get our kidnapped child back. It would consume me and I would be doing every.single.thing I could to find him and get him home. Money is not an issue in finding your son and getting him back. Well it might be now since you have waited so long. You have contact with him, it really shouldn't be that difficult for professionals to find him. Something just does not add up.

[homewithtwinsmama]

You have not said you have contacted the State Department, FBI and Interpol. I don't even understand why you would think social services would be any help at all. Do you have a emergency order giving custody to you based on abduction? You can file this yourself and get before that judge and show him what his joint decision has led to. If you get the run around from any of these agencies your next calls need to be to your Congressional Senator and Reps offices, constituent services. Legislators often will register their concerns/appeals with the State Dept. and the country in question. Start thinking big picture, rather than where your son tells you in his phone calls that he (probably isn't able to be truthful about)is.

My father tried to abduct me, but I was old enough that I fought to make sure I got back to my mother. I feel just awful for your little guy!

[DariusMom]

Originally Posted by D_McG

What are the police saying? Even if he has joint custody I presume that does not mean he can take the child for 6 months? I'm sorry but something is just not making sense here. I hope you can find some answers soon.

eta: I also don't understand why you are keeping it a secret from people?

This.

If you're doing everything you can, then you should have reported that he has been kidnapped. What exactly are you doing?

Surely there is more to be done (legally!) than checking in on the ex's FB account!

I want to give you support. As someone in an int'l relationship, this is my worse nightmare. But, as I posted up thread, even if he had joint custody, what he did was *illegal*. Again, as I mentioned, this happened (in the other direction) with a MDC mama. If you PM me, I'll give you her information and you can contact her. She was forced to return with the kids and was put on trial for child kidnapping. This stuff is taken very very seriously.

I'm afraid that I have to agree that something is just not adding up.

[Theia]

Lots of support and prayers for you and your DS. I hope that you are able to reunite soon. I don't know your story, but I know it's not as simple as calling a couple of places for help too. Best wishes. Will keep you in my heart.

[bits and bobs]

My family and I are constantly working on this.

So what have you done so far? Which authorities have you contacted? What have they said to you? Have you contacted the media?

I don't see a lot of proactivity in your post. Repeatedly calling his number and avoiding FB isn't 'constantly working on it'.

Why aren't you bashing down doors for this sweet boy of yours?

[Strong Mama]

nm.

[EVC]

Strong Mama, I see you have deleted your posts. I hope you are not feeling judged--I think people are just trying to help you.

I am so sorry for what you are going through and I can't imagine how I would feel in your position--likely almost paralyzed from grief. But you MUST be strong and you MUST start getting on top of this. Please, please, please contact the State Department. Even if he has joint custody, surely it is illegal for him to skip town with his son, all but disappear, and not return. That is not joint custody. That is abduction.

Look, even if the State Department can't help (although hopefully they can), you need to start making a serious paper trail of your actions here. When you son is located and all of this goes to court, you will end up looking like the "bad guy" if you can't demonstrate the steps you took to regain your son. Your ex's lawyer will tear you apart: he'll deny the claim of abduction because, well, you never reported any abduction, so what abduction? Second, he'll portray you as irresponsible because, believing that your son had been abducted, you did nothing to get him back. You watch, he'll use this against you to seek full custody of your son.

Now, PLEASE, don't feel hurt or judged. We are trying to help you.

You NEED to AT LEAST start a paper trail of your actions to use in your defense when it goes to court (which eventually it will). Checking Facebook won't cut it (although it wouldn't hurt to take screen shots occasionally to prove deception on his part). Start by having the State Department open a case. This will AT LEAST show that you made serious efforts to get your son back. AND they may be able to give you real help.

[Toolip]

I was following this thread and I too am sorry that you have been feeling judged. We have no idea what your situation is actually like. I can't imagine being pregnant and dealing with this, it must be so overwhelming.

I think we are all hurting for you and your boy. It is so sad to imagine how his dad is treating him I just wish there was something more I could do, other than say how truly sorry that I am and I cannot imagine your profound grief.

I wonder if you would be interested in posting what state you live in and we could come up with a list of actual phone numbers for you to call so you don't have to go digging around for them.



eta: I wanted to add that I have not been through this with my own child but I have been involved with social services in California and situations that sound similar to yours so that is my experience.

[shayinme]

Closing this for review.