What has the most difficult thing for you as a parent?

[Auraji]

For me the most difficult has been being away from all my family and friends. There's no one here that I feel really comfortable asking for help, except DP and he works 6 days a week, about 60/65 hours, that there's not much help he can give me.

Also I feel like the parenting choices I've made have kinda "isolated" me. I know a few other moms in the are, but I never feel like interacting with them since our parenting choices are so different. I'm tired of people going "oh" everytime I say I'm still breastfeeding my 14M old daughter and asking me when do I plan to wean her. I feel really uncomfortable around people that seem to yell at their kids over every little thing, not only because I feel bad for the kids, but because when my daughter is acting like a 14M old acts and all I do is follow her around, try and play a game with her, show her a different toy, they all give me that look and I'm sure you all at some point have gotten that look. I just wish I had ONE mom friend who I felt comfortable around that I could be completely open about my parenting and I could actually go to for advice.

I sometimes really wonder why I feel embarrassed about telling people that I co-sleep and that I try to redirect more than say no and to please don't tell my daughter that "good babies don't cry", when moms so casually tell me that in the few weeks they breastfed they put cereal in the baby's bottle so he'd get enough calories and sleep through the night or that their 4 month old baby loves cartoons and watches them pretty much all day or that baby's favorite food is french fries.

I don't know, I feel kinda bummed today. I never got into attachment parenting as a thing, I was doing. It just feels natural to me, to love and want to be close to my child and teach her through love and not from this authoritative stand point and let kids be kids. I just wish there was someone in real life I could share that with.

[dividedsky]

hey mama...

pm'ing you - i used to live in hatfield

[Belia]

That does sound tough. I can relate- I spent a lot of time with family over the 4th of July holiday and ended up feeling like a really crappy, overindulgent parent. Because I simply tried to honor my kid's needs, choose my battles, and not sweat the small stuff. You know, because he'll obviously starve if he doesn't clear his plate. Even though he's in the 90% for weight and height.

But at the same time, they called me OVERPROTECTIVE because my kid is still RF in his car seat.



The toughest part of parenting for me is the RELENTLESSNESS of it all. There's no clocking out, there are no vacation days, there are no sick days. It is nonstop and forever. That is by far the hardest part for me.

[Punchy Kaby]

I have a hard time setting boundaries/discipline, I try for gentle discipline, but it is really challenging with my 4 yo. When he is in a 'mood' he presses my buttons, all of them in no time flat. He tests me to see where my breaking point (of loosing my temper), he is so much like me that we butt heads a lot.

I am at the other end of the spectrum from relentless-I work enough that I miss my kids, not saying that I don't get tires or overwhelmed, but I love all my time at home with them!

[MamaPhD]

For me the hardest thing is I miss DH! DH works A LOT. He does spend 1 hour in the morning with DD before going to work. But after that, it's just me and DD. DH comes home way after DD's bedtime. Weekends DH and I take turns and get some breaks and also try to do family things, too. And intellectually I understand exactly why DH works so much (I used work the same kind of hours before DD- ha!). Plus we are expecting #2 now, so with wife and 2 kids, DH is not feeling like slacking at all. But emotionally, I feel like the reason why we have kids is so we can be a family but we are not really a "family" at the same time..... I know we are extremely lucky we can afford to have me stay at home plus DH doesn't travel, though! So just a small compalint on my part.

[Italiamom]

I'm sorry you're feeling lonely. The road less traveled definitely has fewer people on it! But going alone can be rough sometimes, and I'm sorry to hear that it's been hard on ya.

The most difficult thing for me has been the sleeplessness. I haven't slept for more than a couple hours at a time since DS was born. I love my little guy, but I am exhausted to the point of tears nearly every day. One day he'll sleep, or so I keep telling myself!

[swd12422]

Originally Posted by Auraji

...people that seem to yell at their kids over every little thing, not only because I feel bad for the kids, but because when my daughter is acting like a 14M old acts and all I do is follow her around, try and play a game with her, show her a different toy, they all give me that look and I'm sure you all at some point have gotten that look. I just wish I had ONE mom friend who I felt comfortable around that I could be completely open about my parenting and I could actually go to for advice.

...It just feels natural to me, to love and want to be close to my child and teach her through love and not from this authoritative stand point and let kids be kids. I just wish there was someone in real life I could share that with.

This is what I find to be most difficult! I was that mom who yelled at her toddler out of frustration, b/c I have no patience for the repetition it takes to redirect, redirect, redirect. I tried. I wanted to be patient and kind and gentle and not be "authoritative" and that's just not my nature. I have struggled with the desire to go against my personality in order to go with my natural instinct to WANT to be gentle and playful instead, and it's been a long hard road. So yeah, I'm that mom who is looking at you, watching you as you playfully redirect your toddler. Not b/c I'm judging you, b/c I'm trying to figure out how you do it!

So please don't think that we're all judging you. Some of us are LEARNING from you!

[jammomma]

I can totally relate. No family here, and no real friends any more. I've been feeling a bit lonely and isolated too, somedays are better than others.

[mermaidmama]

re

For me the hardest parts have been
1- Not having much help esp. with the massive migraines I get.
2- The isolation. DH is gone from 7am - 630pm 5 days out of the week. I don't have a car.
3- Not knowing anyone who parents like I do irl. That doesn't stop me tho.
5- People not respecting my wishes (For the 10th time DO NOT give my 2 year old coke cola!)
6- I'm an introvert so trying to get to know other moms with little ones is exhausting. I know it's good for my social son to see other children so I do it for him.
7- Not having time for my own interests

Hugs....hang in there.

[Amanda L]

OP - I could have written your post. Nobody around me has the same parenting style I do.

[kriket]

The hardest thing for me is not being able to be a SAHM. I really would love to be able to be THE parent, but I have to turn DS away while I am working.
I hate hearing him sit outside my office "Vrooming" with his truck waiting on me to come out to play with him. Or when he knocks on the door and "mamas" at me. It breaks my heart.

[Auraji]

Originally Posted by swd12422

This is what I find to be most difficult! I was that mom who yelled at her toddler out of frustration, b/c I have no patience for the repetition it takes to redirect, redirect, redirect. I tried. I wanted to be patient and kind and gentle and not be "authoritative" and that's just not my nature. I have struggled with the desire to go against my personality in order to go with my natural instinct to WANT to be gentle and playful instead, and it's been a long hard road. So yeah, I'm that mom who is looking at you, watching you as you playfully redirect your toddler. Not b/c I'm judging you, b/c I'm trying to figure out how you do it!

So please don't think that we're all judging you. Some of us are LEARNING from you!

Haha that was nice, but I didn't mean it like that. I too have sometimes yelled at my DD and mostly at my dss, not because he's my dss, but because he's 4.5 and has a bad temper and his mom doesn't do GD, so for me to get him to understand where I'm coming from takes a LOT of work.

I'm very patient, so it works for me and I know something don't work for anyone, but it's more of a. We have "friends" over, the mom wants to sit in the backyard because she smokes. Her daughter is 19m old, our backyard is not fenced in, she wanders around, mom gets mad, yells at kid, puts her in her car seat for a time out. Things like that, I find extreme. She's 19m old, she's in exploration mode.

I didn't mean to sound judgmental or like I'm a perfect mom or anything like that. I just see parents overreact a LOT. Today I was at the swim club, family was sitting down having lunch, little girl was running around the table, not bothering anybody. "YOU BETTER SIT DOWN OR YOU'RE GONNA GET SMACKED!".

[Auraji]

Originally Posted by mermaidmama

For me the hardest parts have been
1- Not having much help esp. with the massive migraines I get.
2- The isolation. DH is gone from 7am - 630pm 5 days out of the week. I don't have a car.
3- Not knowing anyone who parents like I do irl. That doesn't stop me tho.
5- People not respecting my wishes (For the 10th time DO NOT give my 2 year old coke cola!)
6- I'm an introvert so trying to get to know other moms with little ones is exhausting. I know it's good for my social son to see other children so I do it for him.
7- Not having time for my own interests

Hugs....hang in there.

Yes, yes, yes.

I don't drive so I'm stuck at home or the places I can walk to and living in a suburban place there are not too many places you can walk.

I'm an introvert too. I used to write all the time. I can't anymore, whenever i have some free time I don't feel like creating anything. I just feel like disconnecting or well connecting lol

My MIL for the last time do not bring juice boxes or give my DD iced tea or popsicles and no I don't feel like discussing yet again why I don't give my DD meat, since DP and I dont eat it.

I'm happy to have found mothering though, I would have probably gone insane without this site haha, it's my only connection to moms I can relate to.

[just_lily]

For me the hardest part is having to put my own physical needs last. Not being able to sleep, get a drink, have something to eat, pour a cup of coffee, or even go to the bathroom when I need to makes me very frustrated.

I also have a hard time with the noise level. This has to do with running a home daycare and not just being a parent, but the non stop loud makes me crazy. I end up staying up late just to get a bit of quiet time to myself (like now).