getting rid of the paci...

[babybirkel]

DS (18 months) only gets a paci at naptime and bedtime, but he's pretty attached to them. He wants one in his mouth and one in his hand so he can rub the nipple...it is very clearly his lovey. I'm just thinking that it'll be a hard road the longer we wait to get rid of it...

has anyone tried the cutting-off-the-tip method? it seems a little more gentle than just taking it away cold turkey, but it still feels mean to intentionally ruin something he clearly really likes.

he is somewhat attached (recently) to a little elmo stuffed animal/doll and so elmo goes to bed with him now, too. is there any way i can get him to transition to elmo being his lovey, therefore making taking away the paci a little less traumatic?

any advice would be appreciated. thanks.

[Katie T]

I am one of those parents who trust they will give it up when they are ready. For my oldest that was the day before she turned 4yo. For DS he was 3 1/2 and for DD2 (she was a thumb sucker) she stopped at 14 months. They all did it on their own with no tears.

It wasn't even a slow transition. DD1 and DS decided one day they didn't want it anymore. When I told them to grab it to head to bed I was told they didn't want it. It layed on the floor and when they went to bed the next time I once again told them to go grab it and was told no. That was the end of that.

For DD2, my thumb sucker she tapered down in a 2 day span and never sucked it again. To be honest I was really sad that she gave it up so young cause it was so cute but she was ready.

Hope that at least makes you feel better about the situation.

[pbjmama]

I think your idea to try elmo for paci is good. If it doesn't work then you try something else again later. For us paci = sleep so I don't mess with that, I don't see any problem with an older child having a paci

[YayJennie]

My son is 16 months old, and equally attached to the pacifier. He only gets it for sleep and the occasional car rides, so I don't see it as a problem. He does have a blanket that is definitely becoming his "lovey" and helps him go to sleep, but he very rarely falls asleep without his soothie. Is there a reason you want to transition him off the pacifier? I am also of the "if it's not doing any harm why take it away" school of thought. I will let Wyatt have his soothie until he decides he's ready to give it up, which is looking like it won't be for a long time. But I'm OK with that.

[Violet2]

My personal opinion is that your LO is kind of young to lose the paci. Lots of kids are still nursing at this age and get comfort from sucking, but I know many people like to get rid of the paci early on so to each their own.

For the record, DD has had pacis 'deflate' on her and she just demands another paci. So don't expect tip cutting to work like magic.
V

[QuestionGal]

My DS was very much like yours. Paci was his lovey.

I would say 18 months it too young to wean, most will give it up on their own by age 5 or 6 (like 95%) Many by about age 3 (70%). We chose to wean DS at 33ish months b/c the paci was noticeably affecting his bite (early mouth injury, paci was making the tooth shifting worse).

We did it by telling him he was a big boy now and that he didn't need his pacis anymore. That in 3 days the pacis were going to go bye bye. On day 3 he woke up from his nap, tossed his pacis in the trash and that was that. He had one rough day full of meltdowns and a few paci requests but we reminded him that they were all gone and he was okay. DS was 33 months when we did this. I will say it HAS affected his sleep. He used to be a great car napper and sometimes car night sleeper. NOT anymore. He just canNOT get good sleep in a car. I miss those darn pacis for that reason.

We also chose to do it at a time when there was NOTHING else big going on (2 week window). No visits from grandparents, trips to anywhere, bed transitions, potty training, Dr visits, etc.

ETA: we tried the tip cutting thing. Didn't work, He just demanded another one. It was MUCH easier to be able to explain the whole process to him and prepare him BEFORE it happened rather that "Oh, it broke"

[Super~Single~Mama]

My little brother was a paci kid. I mean, all day long, one in his mouth, one in each hand - and anytime we passed the baby section in a grocery store he "needed another one in case he lost one". That all changed when i went to kindergarten and wrote a story about my little brother and his binky's. I read it to him and my mom when I got home (I was really proud of myself ) and he said, "You read that to your CLASS????" and never touched one ever again. I think he was almost 4yo at the time.

[babybirkel]

thanks all. my main reason for thinking of getting rid of it is simply because i fear it will be much harder the longer we wait, especially since he's just so attached to them. also, i am pregnant again and for some reason i sort of want him to be done with pacifiers before the baby arrives, which will be right around when he turns 2. i think if we wait until after the baby arrives to try to wean him off it, it'll be too much of a transition for him just with already adjusting to having a new sibling and whatnot. i'd like to make it the least traumatic as i can.

when i was weaned off my paci, i was 2, and my parents told me the dog ate it, and i bought it. i was just totally okay with it. my DH however, was 2.5, and he participated in the throwing them all away because he was a big boy ritual, and was totally okay with it...until bedtime, when he screamed himself hoarse and slept in the hallway outside his parents' room. it's that kind of trauma i'd prefer to avoid....(personally i wouldn't have left him in the hallway to scream himself to sleep, but that's just me).

[verde]

Honestly, I think getting a new sibling is exactly a reason NOT to try to get rid of the binky. He's going to experience a huge change and the binky will be soothing to him. Why take something away when he'll need it the mos?t It helps him relax, it helps him sleep, why do you want to ruin a good thing?

Just relax and don't worry.

[HeliMom]

I figure if he only uses them for sleep what's the big deal about when he's done with the paci? It's not like he'll take it with him on his honeymoon KWIM?

If it comforts him and he's about to experience a huge transition of a sibling I'd definitely let him keep his lovely constant.

[Lineymom]

Originally Posted by verde

Honestly, I think getting a new sibling is exactly a reason NOT to try to get rid of the binky. He's going to experience a huge change and the binky will be soothing to him. Why take something away when he'll need it the mos?t It helps him relax, it helps him sleep, why do you want to ruin a good thing?

Just relax and don't worry.

My oldest was a paci-addict same as yours, just for naps and bedtime. He gave it up just before turning 4. I told him at some point that I wasn't buying anymore and if he lost them that was it (this sort of reasoning works when they are older.) One night he couldn't find it and we let him watch TV until he fell asleep, (with us, btw). He was fine, no tears. A day or two later he found his paci and held it in his hand while going to sleep but fought the urge to put it in his mouth all of his own accord. His brother was born when he was 33 months old and I had no desire to take the paci away. He weaned from the breast at 25 months shortly after I got pregnant and my milk dried up and there was no reason to take the paci too. I wouldn't have wanted him running around all day with it in his mouth, but just while he is in the bed, no. I mean no one but me and DH even knew he still used it.

[Xerxella]

It'll be ok. Kids give it up in their own time.

It's only at night and at naps, so it's not like he's walking around with it. If he doesn't give it up by 4 or 5 at least at that age you can talk to him about it and he can really understand what's going on.

[spirit4ever]

Originally Posted by verde

Honestly, I think getting a new sibling is exactly a reason NOT to try to get rid of the binky. He's going to experience a huge change and the binky will be soothing to him. Why take something away when he'll need it the mos?t It helps him relax, it helps him sleep, why do you want to ruin a good thing?

Just relax and don't worry.

Totally agree!!!

My dd is turning 2 this weekend, I wouldn't dream of taking her paci away!! She is by far the best sleeper of my 3 children, and my boys never had a paci! (she still nurses too though).

I have seen how well waiting until they are older and are able to help the process works, rather than at a young age when they can't quite grasp it.

[pacificbliss]

DS had a paci at night and for naps until he was a little over three years old. There was a big by bed he wanted so we got it and used it as motivation. No pacis were allowed in the big boy bed and he made the decision where to sleep each night. Sometimes he would switch after an hour. 4 days and no tears later he was free of the paci. So, first I would say don't sweat it at 18 months. Then, there will be signs of readiness and you'll know what to do.

[JudiAU]

Some toddlers need to have a source of sucking until at least 3. Personally, I think he'll stop using it when he doesn't need that any more. And yes, I think it *is* mean to ruin something that he likes.

[NoraC]

We did go cold turkey with our son when he was 2.5 years. But that was because the pacifier had caused him to have an open bite (where the centre teeth top and bottom are forced outwards). We had kept the paci just for sleep times (night and one nap a day) and I had read that as long as he didn't use it excessively after 3 it wouldn't cause any problems. But apparently not the case here. I think he would suck on it pretty hard when he did have it.

We noticed a problem when he would eat sandwiches and would have to bite down with his molars or side teeth rather than the front. Or when he used his front teeth, it was just a little different from when his older sister bit into sandwiches. Then we realized..."His teeth don't meet in the middle but they do at the molars". We took him to see our dentist about it who suggested taking away the pacifier and then waiting to see if the bite would correct.

The first night, he cried for about 15 minutes before going to sleep and I cuddled him the whole time and explained that the paci was pushing his teeth out of their places. The second night he cried for maybe 5 minutes (and I cuddled him then too) and the third night I think he asked for it and then went to bed. For the next week or two I spent some extra time with him at bed and nap times for cuddles and before long he had forgotten it.

On a good note, the bite corrected itself in about six months and he hasn't replaced the pacifier sucking with another thing (thumb or whatnot). On a bad note, I recently read that an open bite can cause lisps. My son (now 6) is working with a speech therapist for a few pronunciation things which may or may not have started with the open bite.

This is not to say that babies and young children shouldn't be using pacifiers, only to keep an eye on things (like the bite) . I was just surprised that there was damage caused by what I considered limited use at a young age.

Good luck to you in however you decide to proceed!

[babybirkel]

thanks all for the responses. i guess i won't worry about it, then. btw, he's still nursing. some of the comments about him still needing to suck on something at this age sort of made it seem like he wasn't getting any sucking other than the paci, which isn't true.

i liked the "no pacis in the big boy bed" idea...we're not planning to transition him to a big boy bed before the baby comes, but will probably wait until he's 2.5 or so to do that.

thanks!

[pbjmama]

Originally Posted by babybirkel

thanks all for the responses. i guess i won't worry about it, then. btw, he's still nursing. some of the comments about him still needing to suck on something at this age sort of made it seem like he wasn't getting any sucking other than the paci, which isn't true.

i liked the "no pacis in the big boy bed" idea...we're not planning to transition him to a big boy bed before the baby comes, but will probably wait until he's 2.5 or so to do that.

I'm sure this isn't always the case but when I tried to cut back on the paci with my ds it meant more nursing, alot more! One of the reasons he still has it! He almost put it in the trash today so the end is in sight

[Mommie020307]

My oldest really never took to one. He just wanted his Thumb. My second however didn't want to give it up until she started biting off the nipples and one by one we threw them away. I believe she was 2.5 years old when her last one went into the trash.
my third, he stopped using his shortly after he turned a year old. Just all of a sudden stopped using it.