Travel and the parenting plan - Page 2

[Jyotsna]

My kids are on their way back to our city/state today, so this issue is over with anyway.

[cycle]

Originally Posted by Jyotsna

My kids are on their way back to our city/state today, so this issue is over with anyway.

I am happy to hear that, I am glad all is well for now.

[momof4peppers]

Originally Posted by Jyotsna

My kids are on their way back to our city/state today, so this issue is over with anyway.

Oh thank God!

But I have to ask, what (if any) information DID he give you? Because ya know, there was a tropical storm (which could have turned into a hurricane) that just blew through the southern part of Florida. My kids are down there visiting their grandparents and while I wasn't a worried wreck, I DID check the weather reports. I don't think you live down there, but if your kids are going on vacation, you should at least be given a vague idea of where in the country they are!

Oh honey, I so hope your new lawyer can help you and your children (you did say you have a new lawyer, right?)

[VocalMinority]

Originally Posted by Jyotsna

Should I want to travel with my children, what type of information should I share with my ex? Our parenting plan asks for phone numbers and itinarary.
Does that mean I should give information about where I am going, how long I will be there, phone numbers for all places and should I include the time I am leaving and arriving?

Thanks

I think it's understandable that your use of the first person led me to assume you were the one debating what info. to give your ex, not the other way around.

Since it IS the other way around, I would assume you can see what I'm saying - that you deserve the basic courtesy and consideration of knowing where your children will be, when they will be there and how you can get hold of them, if you wish to.

If your ex had asked the same question, about his own travel, I would have said the same thing to him: Examine why you're resistant to sharing this basic information with your ex(wife). Sometimes everyone (even me!) has visceral reactions to their exes, so it's healthy to step back and ask, "Is there a real reason I'm being inconsiderate to him (or in this case her); or is it just hostility that I should rein in?"

IRL, my most treasured friends are the ones who don't feel like friendship dictates them always agreeing with everything I say and rallying behind me ("You go, girl!"), but who are honest, if it sounds to them like I'm not proceeding in the right direction - and who will suggest to me that I explore why. When I thought you were talking about yourself, that's all I was trying to point out to you. Sorry that offended you.

[treqi]

what if you dont know where you'll be staying on a trip? i normally dont know how far i'll drive in one day and choose hotels within 15min of reaching a town. i also couchsurf and the day i tell xh about that dirty lil seceret will be the day pigs fly.... but in all seriousness i hve no way of contacting him and he doesnt reply to emails and he never calls dd so why should i tell him where she'll be?

[cycle]

Originally Posted by Jeannine

I think it's understandable that your use of the first person led me to assume you were the one debating what info. to give your ex, not the other way around.

Since it IS the other way around, I would assume you can see what I'm saying - that you deserve the basic courtesy and consideration of knowing where your children will be, when they will be there and how you can get hold of them, if you wish to.

If your ex had asked the same question, about his own travel, I would have said the same thing to him: Examine why you're resistant to sharing this basic information with your ex(wife). Sometimes everyone (even me!) has visceral reactions to their exes, so it's healthy to step back and ask, "Is there a real reason I'm being inconsiderate to him (or in this case her); or is it just hostility that I should rein in?"

IRL, my most treasured friends are the ones who don't feel like friendship dictates them always agreeing with everything I say and rallying behind me ("You go, girl!"), but who are honest, if it sounds to them like I'm not proceeding in the right direction - and who will suggest to me that I explore why. When I thought you were talking about yourself, that's all I was trying to point out to you. Sorry that offended you.

In this forum there are frequently instances where the advice given isn't in favor of the Mom posting it, so this isn't just a place that only gives "way to go" regardless of the circumstances. If you actually read the threads and knew the history instead of picking on choosing what you reply to, only replying to threads that appear to remind you of your husband's ex and give you the opportunity to take your frustrations out on a single momma here.