help me get on a budget!

[sosurreal09]

i make $1000 a month right now
partner makes $1400...he pays rent $850. we split the utilities. $200.
my car that i can not get rid of for the life of me is $285 and insurance is $200. i am suppose to buy all groceries and household supplies and stuff for DD.

so my bills:
car $485
phone $45
food $400
gas $100
uilities $100
house $50

as you can see i cant even cover this let alone have any money for the baby... so what to do?

[Usually Curious]

Can he not chip in for half the food budget?

[VisionaryMom]

If you're going to have split finances, I've always thought Suze Orman's program sounded the best. (We've always been combined, so this is all my theory.) She suggests using percentages. In your case, you make 41% of the household's money, so you should be paying 41% of the bills. That may work out better for you.

[RiverSky]

I don't understand how much he pays towards utilities, is it $200? To me it looks like utilities are $100 plus phone $45 in total, therefore does he pay half of $145?!? What is the "house" notation, household items like what, tp and detergents?

What baby are you referring to, your DD or a baby-on-the-way? Is he the father?

Why is your insurance so high? Can you lower it? Have you truly called around to every other insurance carrier in your area and tried to lower your bill?

Did you know that sometimes you can refinance or modify an auto loan? It doesn't hurt to give your auto loan company a call and ask if they can modify it before you get into financial trouble and see if they offer you a lower interest rate and therefore a lower monthly payment.

What country do you live in? Can you qualify for food stamps/EBT or something like that? It seems to me as if you would easily qualify, assuming you live in the States and you could possibly save that entire $400 a month in your food budget. I must admit that I have been plenty of families in the Frugality forum post their food budgets and they seem to get by with less than $400 a month, though sometimes it isn't easy.

The last option I want to suggest is that you ask for a raise, your partner asks for a raise, or both or one of you get an extra p/t job, something small that will bring in just a little bit of extra income.

What does your partner say when you show him your budget?

[sosurreal09]

im on unemployment ATM he makes a "high" salary for his job. foodstamps said we make too much $. the baby is my 9 m/o DD which is his child. he says since he pays rent for us i should pay the other things. utilities are gas and electric and cable. we both have cell phones we each pay seperately.
i actually posted about car insurance b/c this is ridiculous i dont have a good driving record...
i tried to refinance they said its too early to refinance. i checked with the bank as well they said i dont have a job...

DD has serious food intolerances so its rough b/c everything we buy is expensive so that i can eat and give her milk and she eats table food now too, i buy organic whole foods and i homemake everything we eat.

well we are partners sort of...we broke up then kind of got back together but he looks at our finances as completely seperate and he thinks paying the rent is doing me a huge favor so in turn thinks hes giving more than enough...but i could try and rediscuss things with him now...idk how to explain things to him though he's been very strange about money recently not to mention he doesnt budget himself at all. he spent $250 in 3 days that his siter was over...ciggarettes are a huge portion of his money...

[doubledutch]

if you were not with him, you'd qualify for all kinds of assistance, right? so can you make a plan to leave? get on a waiting list for subsidized housing, or look for a roommate situation, or . . . ?

[luv-my-boys]

Im sorry if this sounds brash but really he's contributing 850 per month yet when you add up what your paying your way over 850? yet he is making more per payroll, is that correct? that really dosent seem fair.

I second the suze orman % method. Its a more equittable way of splitting the bills

[Crazybean]

So after he pays his part of the bills, he has a few hundred left over to spend on himself or save... nice...

I agree with the pp that said to split the bills per the income. You make 41% so that is your portion of the bills. Yes it is easier for someone to say I'll pay the rent but you pay for x, y and z.. this way, it is even but not as confusing to split every single bill down the middle.

[choli]

You'd probably be better off apart from him and getting child support.

[nola79]

Originally Posted by choli

You'd probably be better off apart from him and getting child support.

Yes, this. It sounds like he does not have much concern for your well being if he sees paying the rent as "doing you a favor".

[sosurreal09]

well we were together for 5 wonderful years then split up for 8 months then got back together for 2 hellish years...then split up. now getting back together with what seems like the good relationship we previously had. its complicated...

so i ran the budget by him last night and showed him all the bills without spending money, money for DD, or household money (tp ect) and we had $26 left over...obvs cannot cover all of that with $26...so he agreed to pay more of the bills and he said he either wants to get a better full time job (shooting for post office) or at least a part time job to go along with his current full time job. that is the first time he has ever contributed a solution! (usually EVERYTHING is on my shoulders) im excited b/c i feel like he may really be changing but thats another story.

[smokeylo]

That sounds promising. He definitely needs to be contributing more.