Hey Mamas..
It's been so long since I've been an active member on this forum, and a large portion of my more recent activity has been on the dating threads. Often, when I feel completely overwhelmed by my situation as a single mama, I do think of all of you and remember that I'm not alone. I've been without a "real" computer for a few months so the opportunities that I have to catch up are few and far between.
While I still do and always will consider myself to be a single mama of one at the core, I am now a partnered mama, and will soon be a step mama to two, mama to one, and loving wife to a wonderful guy.
He has two kids of his own and it's clear that he genuinely cares for Eden, feels that his duty is to make me happy and make my life as easy as possible, and in his pursuit of that, has lately been offering to spend time with Eden while I'm at work because my family has proven completely unreliable and they don't provide a safe or healthy environment for my daughter. My ex-MIL typically has her and has proven herself worthy of sainthood in the amount of love and attention that she bestows upon Eden, but with my family, it's always this huge production that isn't worth the stress of coordinating it.
Obviously my priority is providing a safe and healthy environment for my kid (and it's sad that my boyfriend is more likely to do that than my own mom, though that's a different post entirely) but removing that piece from the equation, I guess my question is this: For those of you who are partnered, how much help do you accept from your so's in the care of your child(ren)? Is it a matter of accepting all that they offer, or do you have boundaries?
I also realize that this is a good question for Stepparenting/Blended families forum, and I will repost there from a differing perspective, but we're not *quite* there yet.
I'd love to hear of your experiences, currently or in the past.
It's been so long since I've been an active member on this forum, and a large portion of my more recent activity has been on the dating threads. Often, when I feel completely overwhelmed by my situation as a single mama, I do think of all of you and remember that I'm not alone. I've been without a "real" computer for a few months so the opportunities that I have to catch up are few and far between.
While I still do and always will consider myself to be a single mama of one at the core, I am now a partnered mama, and will soon be a step mama to two, mama to one, and loving wife to a wonderful guy.
He has two kids of his own and it's clear that he genuinely cares for Eden, feels that his duty is to make me happy and make my life as easy as possible, and in his pursuit of that, has lately been offering to spend time with Eden while I'm at work because my family has proven completely unreliable and they don't provide a safe or healthy environment for my daughter. My ex-MIL typically has her and has proven herself worthy of sainthood in the amount of love and attention that she bestows upon Eden, but with my family, it's always this huge production that isn't worth the stress of coordinating it.
Obviously my priority is providing a safe and healthy environment for my kid (and it's sad that my boyfriend is more likely to do that than my own mom, though that's a different post entirely) but removing that piece from the equation, I guess my question is this: For those of you who are partnered, how much help do you accept from your so's in the care of your child(ren)? Is it a matter of accepting all that they offer, or do you have boundaries?
I also realize that this is a good question for Stepparenting/Blended families forum, and I will repost there from a differing perspective, but we're not *quite* there yet.
I'd love to hear of your experiences, currently or in the past.
As ds and dp started warming up to each other they started spending more and more time together (without me). Now they are totally comfortable and I would be able to leave them together for any amount of time without a problem. Now, 3 years after we moved in with dp, parenting is shared between us. He takes care of ds whenever he needs to (he has more flexibility with work so he can usually work from home if ds needs to stay home from school because he's ill or it's a snow day or whatever). He feeds ds, gives him showers, plays with him, takes him to the park, takes him to school or picks him up if I'm unable etc etc. Everything a "dad" should do. But this has all built up over the past 3 years. It wasn't an overnight thing. EVERYONE involved had to be comfortable with it. At first I did have boundaries (as did dp! His biggest hump was discipline. He didn't want to discipline ds for the longest time and only recently has been comfortable with it). As time has gone on, those boundaries have been knocked down. Now all 3 of us are completely comfortable with where we are now and wouldn't change it for anything 
You seem to be where some of us would like to go. 
