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[Happeesupermom]

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[mom2happy]

I think you are hormonal and so tired and need to recover.
I felt this way with my 12 week old and its lessened, but I still get a sick in the stomach feeling that no one else is going to hold her the right way or that something can happen.
I have a Dh who is ALWAYS tired too. Its maddening. The fact that he can even say it too me all the time is crazy. He also falls asleep any chance he gets. I dont have that luxury because I have 3 kids to take care of and even if I had the time during the day to nap I would never fall asleep because Im always on high alert.
I tell him to try to breastfeed all night and try to function all day. Thats exhuasting.

I think with time you will not feel so panicky. I had those hormones after two of my births. Its very nerve wracking. Try to remember to take care of your self- eating, staying hydrated, maybe some fish oil.
Its still so soon and every birth is different. You are older now and hormomes go through major changes. You just had a baby.
Congratulations on your new addition.

[Hannah32]

I'm just as paranoid that something will happen. For certain personality types, it probably can't be helped.

[belltree]

Is there any way you could afford and find a postpartum doula?

[toughcookie]

sounds like your hormones are wreaking havoc with you. yes, it's not your first baby, but every postpartum is different, and for some reason this one is making you crazier than you recall from your previous times.

i would try to get a PP doula, if i were you. yes, it's more money out the door, but it sounds like your level of paranoia and exhaustion merit throwing a little money at the problem, if you can.

you WILL feel better soon. know that!

big hug.

[maptome]

It's hormonal for sure. I guess you didn't feel the same with your other kiddos, but you're describing me exactly. I had so much anxiety. SO MUCH. I couldn't sleep. It's funny the other mamas recommend a PP doula. DP and I said that the only thing we would do differently for the next baby is hire a PP doula!

[texmati]

you aren't going crazy-- you are a mom!!!

You have so much on your plate-- any help around at all?

[Katie T]

I had this problem with my DS. I told my midwife about it and she told me to get out every day. Even if it was a drive around the block. I started putting him in the sling and going for a short walk and it actually helped.

I agree it is hormonal and it was the worst for only 1 of my 3 children. Not that I didn't care for my others just as much as you know as well. But something with my hormones with him it was just crazy. I would lay with him and cry because I was to afraid to let myself sleep at night. It wasn't fun at all and I wish you all the best.

[dakotablue]

I will say in your hormones defense, your Dh sleeping with your DS is not the best idea just yet if he is SO tired. I've read over and over about safe co sleeping that it should only be with a nursing mother, I think most people would add until DP is as aware of baby.

Do you have a Moby? Can you wear the baby skin to skin? I found that helped me the most, it was with my first, but hormones are the same. Maybe if you wear the baby, feel he is safe and with you you'll feel better about attending to your other children. I'd just say for your Dh to do everything else. I didn't let DS out of my sight until I was 4 weeks PP, and then not on another floor of the house I think 8-9 weeks. and only with Dh.

[Happeesupermom]

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[Snapdragon]

a post partum doula would be someone who you would pay to come to your home and help you with whatever you needed help with right now. Such as maybe looking after your other kids (with you at home) and cleaning some or doing laundry. So you could get a moment of rest.
I have no idea what they charge.
Sorry you feel overwhelmed- it is a lot.

[TnMsMama]

I had similar feelings after my DD was born and my midwife suggested I take fish oil and evening primrose oil. I am somewhat of a skeptic and was really surprised at what a difference it makes!

DBF has even been known to say "did you remember to take your fish oil? You're acting psycho" (I never said he was a smart man! He's very, very pretty...LOL)

It's not a mood enhancer or anything - if you're actually nuts it won't help (LOL, sorry) but if it's your hormones wacky, then it'll straighten them out!

[Mawood]

I did feel the same way a week after had given birth. My health practitioner who is an acupuncturist and herbalist said that around day 8-10 all the hormones of the placenta would have left the body and it is the deepest dip. She recommended to take deer placenta capsules if you haven't had your own placenta capsuled. I didn't end up taking any but I took some herbs cause I was very blood deficient.
I can remember how exhausted and stressed and paranoid I was that day though and I have a very supportive husband who also took a family leave plus it is our first one but my moods were hard on both of us. I remember going over and over things (e.g. fears, worries) and not being able to let go. And other people holding my baby has just started to become more relaxed for me. I felt like Olivia was best placed in my or my husbands arms for the first 6 months and wouldn't let anyone hold her for long or sometimes at all. I just wanted her to have that familiar smell. I would go crazy if my stepmother in law would hold her and she would smell like her after wards.

So yes, you are hormonal. It must be so hard to take care of a whole family so early post-partum. I hope you can organize some help. Can you send DH off with the older kids and put him on duty with them, have friends, relatives bring you some dinner, rest when the baby sleeps? I had to learn to take naps with Olivia. My mind was always busy just like yours. Wishing you all the best!!!

[jsh7809]

It sounds like normal anxiety to me, but I would say if the anxiety is building on itself, or if you're feeling out of control about it (losing sleep, feeling worried all day, etc) you might want to talk to a counselor.
I know for me and a lot of other moms, postpartum depression/ anxiety shows its face through "normal" worries about the babies/ kids magnified into huge distracting fears. I hope you can calm down and settle into the new baby's life soon!

[texmati]

Here's a link on postpartum doulas. From what I understand, it seems like they would do what a mom (or a MIL from heaven) would do-- come by help clean up, support breast feeding, perhaps do some cooking and then leave. You may be able to post in FYT for recommendations.

if you do have anyone to ask for help- ask! I know that people are quicker to help first time moms, but forget how overwhelming a baby can be to a full household.

[texaspeach]

I think you should mention it to your hcp/dr/mw. it could be normal pp hormonal wackiness or postpartum anxiety. if it is impacting your day to day life you need to talk to someone about it.

[Pookietooth]

to you. It sounds like you may have PPD or at least PPA (anxiety). Get some magnesium, a really good prenatal vitamin (I like MegaFoods Baby & Me but it's super expensive), a food-based B complex, and a source of EPA and DHA such as fish oil. And eat lots of low mercury fish like salmon. Definitely get some help, both around the house and someone to talk to. Five kids is hard -- I am overwhelmed with just two!
Oh, and if you saved your placenta, and haven't consumed any of it yet, now might be a good time to look into ways to do that -- either encapsulation or in smoothies (there are lots of recipes for them but what I did was just picked a bunch of red fruits and added a thumb-sized chunk of placenta to that in the blender).

[tzs]

Originally Posted by Happeesupermom

I regularly fight paranoid thoughts like what I've described and more. Like the idea that someone is watching or videotaping me throughthe vent in my room or something. It's been happening for many years. I can remember having those thoughts as a kid! And with my previous kids I would be terrified that I'd forget them somewhere- like "where'd I put the baby?!"

I just try to fight off these thoughts & fears; try to ignore them... but it just increases my anxiety level. Until I can't do anything else until I check on ds!

Again, sorry it's so long. But I sure do appreciate your words of encouragement!

for sure it's normal and alot of moms feel these thoughts but if you;re having irrational fears and anxiety which i think you're really trying to get across that you do...then it could be more than just hormones and could be PPD or PP Anxiety. it's not something to beat yourself up about and accepting it is really the first thing that will make you feel better. (i've had agoraphobia and panic attacks for years...got really bad in pregnancy)

definately go see your doc, think about meds (yep, you can nurse, i do with and anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety med) and try to find a therapist who deals in cognitive behavioral therapy.

it sounds like despite the hard time you've been having you are rteally in tune with what's going on which is a great thing in itself. and you're right, fighting the anxiety and ignoring it DOES make it worse. so you're on the right track already. for some reading in the meantime Dr David Burns (i think is the name) is a good author to check out. I recommend "When Panic Attacks" but i think he also did the "feel good handbook." it really goes through all the steps and thought processes available in CBT.

[Happeesupermom]

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[Happeesupermom]

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