Originally Posted by PoppyMama
I think the difficulty some are having with your responses is that, for the most part, you're still behaving like the two parent family working toward the american dream. Single parents often have to make huge sacrifices and do drastic things in order to survive. You're not willing to do any of that.
huh? she moved in with her parents, which for some people would be sweet but in her case it's really not. she basically had to choose between two evils (sorry jsma, jmo!). she has good reasons why not to file for bankruptcy or ditch the car (or quit her job). it's not that she's not willing to give anything up - she's just looking at what is the smartest way to do this, big picture, long term. honestly, there isn't much left to give up. cheaper daycare would be great but if it isn't available, then it just isn't.
and even if there is a lower-cost option, i can understand continuing to pay a higher rate. i pay more than i really need to, but i want my boys to be some place they are really happy and not have to transition to something new in light of all the other upheaval in their lives right now. i'm not being selfish or stubborn in this. i am making a sacrifice - i'm choosing to make do with less money because i believe keeping my kids in their current daycare is in their best interest. does that make any sense?
jsma, did you quit contributing to 401(k)? i know retirement is important and you want to be responsible, but keep in mind (as you pointed out) how different your financial situation will be in 18 months - 2 years. at that point, you can resume those contributions. even if it's only $50 per paycheck or something, you need the cash now.
fwiw i think you're smart to keep your job and payoff the car, even though the car payment hurts. maybe once the car is paid off, or when the loan is paid down enough that selling it would make sense - at that point i would consider getting a cheaper yet reliable car.
when dd is with stbx eow, can you work for cash, one day? i know you need the rest and just some mama time, but if you worked one 8-hour shift (out of that, i guess, 48-hour visitation), twice per month, that would add up. it's not ideal, but if you literally can't make ends meet, it just may be necessary.