I will try not to make this too long 
It has been a while since I've posted here, but when things get really rough this board always gives me inspiration.
History: We have had custody of DF's four daughters for 2 years. Child and Youth placed them with us because their mother chose to stay with her boyfriend after DSD alleged that he molested her. Despite a failed lie detector test and many experts conceding abuse took place, the boyfriend won an appeal because DSD recanted. Once the appeal was won mom decided she wanted her kids back and sued for custody. We have been in the midst of a custody battle for about a year. So far we have retained custody, but every hearing infuriates us. At the last one the judge ordered that we had to send the girls to their mother's 3 weekends a month and that the boyfriend was allowed to be there. Crazy, crazy, ruling considering that Child and Youth and the court appointed therapist took the stand stating strongly that the girls should never be allowed around him. In fact his own daughter alleged abuse and he is only allowed supervised visits with her. Anyway I'm rambling now, my point is who knows what the court will decide next.
We have another custody hearing next week. DF is freaking that he might lose the girls. Their mother has decided to subpoena them AGAIN and every weekend she badgers them about what to say on the stand. She uses emotional blackmail and says if they say the wrong thing she'll never see them again. She tells them that their counselor is a moron, drama queen, and betrays their confidences. She urges them all not to speak to the counselor anymore. So here we have 4 little girls (4,8,9,, and 11) who are terrified of court, of losing their mom, and feel like they can't talk to their counselor. So basically every Sunday we pick up kids that are off the wall. Their behavior has regressed unbelievably as the new court date approaches. They are miserable. On top of the basic day to day chores involved in raising 6 kids (I have two of my own) I now deal with misery, tattling, fighting, lying, disrespect and general anarchy all day. The 4 year old cries about EVERYTHING, the 8 year old spends her day creating situations that hurt the feelings of the other kids, the 9 year old is dissociating and acting very clingy and whiney, and the 11 year old is being nasty to everyone. I am burnt out. I try everything in my bag of loving, understanding tricks and nothing works. I know they need me now,but how can I keep them afloat when I feel like I'm drowning? DF is supportive, but he himself is completely overwhelmed. I'm feeling really unappreciated and used right now and don't know how to get through this next week. DF brought them to work today so I could have a day off and I know I'm supposed to be appreciative of that, but I find myself feeling resentful that it's not enough. Thanks for letting me vent......
It has been a while since I've posted here, but when things get really rough this board always gives me inspiration.History: We have had custody of DF's four daughters for 2 years. Child and Youth placed them with us because their mother chose to stay with her boyfriend after DSD alleged that he molested her. Despite a failed lie detector test and many experts conceding abuse took place, the boyfriend won an appeal because DSD recanted. Once the appeal was won mom decided she wanted her kids back and sued for custody. We have been in the midst of a custody battle for about a year. So far we have retained custody, but every hearing infuriates us. At the last one the judge ordered that we had to send the girls to their mother's 3 weekends a month and that the boyfriend was allowed to be there. Crazy, crazy, ruling considering that Child and Youth and the court appointed therapist took the stand stating strongly that the girls should never be allowed around him. In fact his own daughter alleged abuse and he is only allowed supervised visits with her. Anyway I'm rambling now, my point is who knows what the court will decide next.
We have another custody hearing next week. DF is freaking that he might lose the girls. Their mother has decided to subpoena them AGAIN and every weekend she badgers them about what to say on the stand. She uses emotional blackmail and says if they say the wrong thing she'll never see them again. She tells them that their counselor is a moron, drama queen, and betrays their confidences. She urges them all not to speak to the counselor anymore. So here we have 4 little girls (4,8,9,, and 11) who are terrified of court, of losing their mom, and feel like they can't talk to their counselor. So basically every Sunday we pick up kids that are off the wall. Their behavior has regressed unbelievably as the new court date approaches. They are miserable. On top of the basic day to day chores involved in raising 6 kids (I have two of my own) I now deal with misery, tattling, fighting, lying, disrespect and general anarchy all day. The 4 year old cries about EVERYTHING, the 8 year old spends her day creating situations that hurt the feelings of the other kids, the 9 year old is dissociating and acting very clingy and whiney, and the 11 year old is being nasty to everyone. I am burnt out. I try everything in my bag of loving, understanding tricks and nothing works. I know they need me now,but how can I keep them afloat when I feel like I'm drowning? DF is supportive, but he himself is completely overwhelmed. I'm feeling really unappreciated and used right now and don't know how to get through this next week. DF brought them to work today so I could have a day off and I know I'm supposed to be appreciative of that, but I find myself feeling resentful that it's not enough. Thanks for letting me vent......
