How to Handle End of Dog's Life?

[Aquitane]

I'm sure this has been discussed before, but I really need help now!

Our 15 year old beagle is at the end of her life. She barely eats, has lost a lot of weight. She has a hard time getting up and down. Sometimes her legs give out on her. The vet says it's part of the end of her life.

Our 11 (almost 12) year old DS is completely and totally attached to her. Think Timmy and Lassie...Every time the dog has a "setback" he cries and cries. He thought she didn't recognize him the other night (totally possible) and he was up all night worrying about it.

So, friends who have lost a pet have told us to take the beagle to the vet and have her put to sleep and then tell DS (and DD, but she'll only be upset because DS is) that it was the vet's recommendation. Basically, don't tell him ahead of time. I'm not sure I agree with this. First DS isn't stupid, he'll want to go to the vet too, or will be suspicious of the story. Second, we don't lie to our kids. We are really honest with them.

DS wants his dog to die at home. We have told him that if we think she is in pain we will put her to sleep. He has said that he won't forgive us if we do. So, basically, I'm afraid my son will hate me forever if we have to put her to sleep.

I'm guessing that at this point, a lot of people would have already put her to sleep. She does not seem in pain. She doesn't whine, cry or yelp. But who knows?

Sorry, I know this is long, but any guidance in this area will be appreciated.

[SophieAnn]

Is it possible to have a vet come to your home?

I wouldn't be comfortable lying either - so trust your gut on that (and you know your kids better than anyone anyway).

Your son may be very mad for awhile if you put your dog to sleep, but many times it's the right thing to do. He'll understand someday, and he won't hate you forever.

So sorry. I hope that you can enjoy and cherish the time you have left together.

[Aquitane]

SophieAnn, I never thought of that! I know vets do that in rural areas, but we live in the suburbs. One of the vets at our clinic is SIL to a friend of mine. Maybe I could ask her? That might be the best of all options.

Thanks!

[ParisApril]

My black lab will be 13 in September. She has her problems, cancer for 6 years, slow getting up and slow on the stairs. She wheezes sometimes coughing but it's not her time, not yet.

When it is time I will tell my DD(11) and my DS(5) that it is time so they can say goodbye to her. They love her so much to not do that would be unfair to them. But I would be the one making the call about when it should be done.

Your DS will forgive you. He is old enough to understand that your dog is sick. My Grandma had the vet put down her dog at her house so I know some vets will do that. I would like to do that for my girl when it's her time.

[shelbean91]

We live in Mesa, AZ and I googled 'home vets' or something like that and found a vet who will come to the house. We originally found him b/c our rottie was sick and had bad hips so couldn't get in and out of the car. He did eventually put him (and a couple years later our lab) to sleep, at home. He also took their bodies for us to have them cremated. It was very peaceful, our pets were in the comfort of their home. It even cost the same, for the most part.

It was once they were in pain. If your dog isn't in pain or clearly telling you it's time, then you have a little time left. Our rottie told us it was time when he quit eating and drinking - even refused a piece of hot dog. Our lab had a tumor growing on her esophogus, which made it hard for her to breathe. You'll know when it's time and so will he.

[2xy]

I know that kids all understand things at different times in their lives, but we had to have a cat put down when my DS1 was about 5yo, and he was sad but very able to understand that a long, drawn-out death is worse than a peaceful death.

I told him that the doctor helped our kitty to die so that he wouldn't suffer anymore. He looked thoughtful and said, "But people have to suffer for a long time before they can die, huh?" Wise beyond his years about that....

When I was 11, my grandparents dog was put to sleep. The dog and I were born on the same day, same year, and grew up together. I was very close to her. My mom didn't tell me the dog was euthanized until after I came back from camp, even though it happened before I left for camp. Her reason was that she didn't want to ruin camp for me. I understood her position, but I was very angry at not being told. I felt guilty for a long time that I had been off enjoying myself when my favorite doggy had just died.

[Alyantavid]

I wouldn't lie to him. There are lots of vets around that will come to your home, so I would go that route.

We had our dog put to sleep a few years ago and our oldest was and still is devastated. But we did tell him the truth and he knew she was sick. He does understand why it had to be done, but is obviously still sad that she's gone, not over how it was done.

I'm so sorry.

[Leersia]

Our dog is 15, and we have just decided to use an in-home euthanasia service and try to get them here on Monday. I'm so, so sad. 'Tater has had a very slow decline, so it has been hard to make the decision, but her quality of life is very poor right now. I will give my 8-year-old twins the choice as to whether to stay with her during the procedure or not. They are much more attached to our 10-year-old hound dog, so this will help them prepare for that eventuality, which is still a long way off.

You have to make the call on the timing, but things that might help your son would be to ask him if he sees any light in the dog's eyes, if the dog can still play, or show interest in a squirrel, if the dog seems to be in pain - if he can see that the answer is no (except to the pain question), that might help him to understand your decision.

Hugs and best wishes.