Need parenting help!

[seekup2]

My ex-husband and I adopted a daughter, but divorced when she was 2. I have decided to go it alone and adopt a second child as a single parent. I am so confused as to how to handle the fact that my one child will have a dad and 2 sets of grandparents and the other one won't. How do I explain that to each of them??

[JunipersMom]

The same way any blended family explains things.. my daughter was adopted at birth and we divorced when she was three and my biological son was 3 months - (they're now 5 & 2) and I just answer questions as honestly as I can and try to spend one on one time as much as I can because two by yourself is HARD (wonderfully, but hard) so I like having the time to baby on my baby a bit. Now that they're older and are both spending more time with their father its a bit different than when the babe was newborn, but kids really do adjust to what their life is ~ and some point someone may tell them that 'its not how its supposed to be' or something - but by then you will have been age appropriately honest with them and they will be more than able to speak up.

[DTmama1]

I'm going through a slightly similar situation. My ex and I have a bio daughter who is 5. We were foster parents together for 3 years, and were placed with a sibling group for adoption last September. We decided to get divorced in March, and decided that they will do best being adopted by only one of us, which will be me. They are having a hard time with the grandparent part more than the change with him actually. They're very upset that our bio daughter gets to see his parents regularly (he lives with them) and they do not.

We talk to our bio daughter about not bragging about what she gets to do with dad and grandparents at all, and I think we will be making sure things she acquires there stay there as much as possible. Maybe develop a relationship with other friends eventually for the child who has less grandparents where they can go spend special time with?