How far in advance do you plan your LO's Bday parties - Page 2

[Norasmomma]

Yeah I'm another who doesn't like a last minute invite, I have a life that I need to plan. I work, DH works, we have a weird schedule. Planning and inviting a few weeks before is good.

I can't stand things being sprung on me, but I am a planner. Maybe a touch OCD about it, LOL.

[transylvania_mom]

we sent invitations for ds's 5th birthday party 3 weeks in advance, but had to switch weekends due to an unplanned event. I found out that most of the kids' parents already had plans and there was another birthday party on the weekend we wanted, extracurricular activities etc. I learned my lesson, planning in advance is way better.

[Grace and Granola]

2-3 weeks seems to be the norm around here.

It doesn't matter how informal or casual you want your get together to be. People still make other plans if they don't know you're having said informal gathering. Especially in the summer months when it seems like lots of parties and picnics are happening.

A very good friend of mine just sent out an evite for her son's b-day part this saturday, just 4 days in advance. I was suprised by it, and thankfully we didn't have any plans, but I would have been incredibly disappointed if we had to miss this party because of other plans. Even though it's just a casual party for a three year old's b-day.


My ds's b-day is at the end of august and I will send the e-vites out two weeks ahead.

[St. Margaret]

In our circle we all send out evites with the bare bones info to save the date, and then get more specific a couple weeks ahead of time.

We're planners. It helps-- there are things to do to prep for a party, like buying/making and wrapping gifts, and scheduling around other events and chores. I often have huge stacks of papers to grade on certain weekends, and if I know about an event I can work around that... my ILs are last-minute folk and it drives me nuts.

[NYCVeg]

I wanted to add: since both dh and I work, it's crucial that we get an invite to a weekend party at least a week in advance--we need the weekend before to shop for a gift, since we are unable to during the week.

[cedoreilly]

The norm here is 2-3 weeks. I have sent out my twin's birthday invites a month in advance because their birthday is right after the 4th and I find LOTS of people tend to go away between the end of school and the 4th. I send them early so that I don't have someone who comes back from vacation a couple of days before the party to a birthday invite.

[elmh23]

Last year I started planning for dd's birth day in mid-September. Her birthday is at the very end of November, but because of Thanksgiving, we had to figure out a day that would work earlier in the day. We have a large group of friends that I wanted to invite so I had to figure out a day that would work for most of them. After that, I invited dd's classmates (none of our friends go to her school) since there was still room in the place we were going (a gymnastics studio.) Invites were sent out in mid-October.

[hergrace]

Originally Posted by MommatoAandA

WHO plans a small informal childrens party WEEKS in advance?

I do. I have 5 families that I like to invite to our kids birthdays and our family open houses. We don't get together often and the three parties a year that I throw are our best chances of getting together. I need to give 4-6 weeks advance notice if I want most of the families to be able to make it. So, even though all we are going to do is have the kids play and eat snacks, I need to schedule it early. But I leave the planning of details to the last week prior.

[CatsCradle]

WHO plans a small informal childrens party WEEKS in advance.

Raising hand timidly...I do. This has been my experience with others who have parties for their children as well. Most of DD's friends are scattered throughout the city, so anytime we have to go somewhere, it always takes a huge chunk out of our day, no matter how informal the party purports to be. DH and I need to squeeze in a lot during the weekends and we prefer to be able to calendar ahead for planning purposes and to insure that we are available for a given event or have everything organized, It is very difficult for us (for a wide variety of reasons) to do things without planning ahead. I also don't like to make the assumption that DD's friends/parents will be available on short notice.

[buttercup784ever]

I don't think you have to plan out the entire party weeks in advance, but if you know the birthday is coming and you know you'll want to have a little party you can send out invites or evites letting people know a date.

It's most considerate to the people closest to you. Think about it. If grdma has plans for that Saturday afternoon, and you send a text two days before for your child's b-day, grdma is probably going to cancel her plans to attend, right? People not so close to you will just not attend the b-day party, but the people that are closest to you will attend no matter what.

[lafemmedesfemmes]

i generally let my "usual suspects" (godparents and grandparents, for the most part) know by word of mouth, about a month or six weeks in advance, so i can change dates if necessary. then i'll send out the mass invite about 2 or 3 weeks in advance. i know i don't like to get invites closer than 2 weeks to the date, so i avoid that when i'm sending out invites.

and my parties are very informal, but if my kids have their hearts set on particular people being there, then i need to give everyone as much room to work as possible.

christina

[cristeen]

My guy is 10 mos today, and we're already starting to plan his bday party.

[Hoopin' Mama]

2-3 weeks notice is the norm here.
However, your friend's response was rude. In effect, she was saying it was your fault she had to miss the event. Rude.

[phathui5]

Our last birthday party, when my youngest ds turned three, we did give people about three days notice. Usually, I'm a lot better about it, letting people know at least two weeks in advance.

[blizzard_babe]

I think we're dealing with different definitions of "party" here.

[MommatoAandA]

Well, I live a busy life and its my DD's bday and I honestly didn't think to even plan it until about 2 weeks before. So I understand if people can't come. I just think planning a one year olds bday party months in advance is a bit of overkill.

I go to school,work, and take care of my children. I have a busy schedule and I would never respond with what my friend did. It just seems like she is trying to make me feel bad. Its not my fault she schedules her fun activity outtings and dates a month in advance. I understand she can't make it, but to respond like she is coming down on me for not giving more notice when I clearly said I understood if people had to say no, is kind of childish.

When I have planned it in advance, people often forget about it and I spend the time reminding them. It was not that I was upset that some people couldn't make it, I understand. But this isn't a wedding, its a one year olds bday party. I can see sending the invites 2 weeks in advance (I gave 11 days notice I believe).

I think party etiquette is all screwed up today. People don't RSVP. They show up anyway, they RSVP yes, then don't show up (this same friend did that for DD1's first AND second bday). We are extremely close (or were) and there is a third friend in our group who I have been best friends with since I was 14 and they both excluded me from their kids and recently their own birthday celebrations this year. I get the feeling they are honestly trying to just break away from me. I wish they would just say that and be honest.

Anyway. Thanks everyone for your input. I will try for next year to at least give folks a 3 week notice.

[HeatherB]

I love planning parties, so I do spend a good amount of time searching out the right theme, decorations, goodies, location (if not at home), etc. By 3 months in advance, I'm thinking about the party, and by 2 months, I'm working on real plans. That being said, I try to have invites out 2 weeks in advance, which is generally the norm around here.

I actually thought it rather odd, perhaps even uncouth, to receive an invite a month or more ahead of time. And, it feels rather hasty to get one within the week of the party. I suppose it just feels, in that case, that they haven't really put much effort or thought into it - and perhaps that's exactly what they wanted! Of course, if I've gotten a heads-up a couple of weeks a head and then the official invite shows up within the week, that's a different story.

I agree that party etiquette is really weird these days. I'm sorry you're having a hard time with your friends. I was thinking recently that my stash of birthday gifts for friends of my kids isn't really something I need to hang on to, since they have so few friends anymore... We used to go to parties *all* the time because we had a circle of friends amongst whom there were 2-4 kids per family. Having friendships drift apart is hard.

I hope you enjoy your parties, regardless!

[lach]

We had informal get togethers for both of my childrens' first birthdays. We have no family nearby, but I still wanted to do something to mark the occasion, so I invited a few friends with their kid to celebrate the occasion.

And, yeah, I planned it out a few weeks in advance. I'm very busy too, and didn't want to expend time and money and energy planning a party that no one could come to. And my friends are busy, so I think it's polite to give them a head's up. These were just informal get-togethers, but I still bought a cake and some finger foods for adults and kids and drinks, and made sure my house was clean, and put together a rockin' first birthday mix on my iPod. I really enjoy throwing parties and I've thrown some in the past at very ill conceived times and on poor notice, and there are few things more depressing than hosting a party that no one comes to.

My daughter's had two more organized parties since then, and we sent out the invites about 3 weeks in advance for both. Her birthday is in July and it's a very busy time for people and they need notice.

[BetsyS]

We aim for 2-3 weeks ahead.

And, we totally do NOT have busy lives with our weekends booked to the holidays already. We're pretty laid back. Ah, it's Saturday...wanna do something? type people.