What to say about S-E-X ??

[CatherineEL]

First of all, I want to say that I try to be as honest and forthright with my ds (3 yo) as possible. If he asks me a question, I think it is important to offer the most complete and clear answer possible.

Then ..... the other day my MIL was in town and she took him out for a bike ride. We thought she was giving us some time alone .... but 20 minutes or so later our ds burst in. (blush)

We tried to smoothly transition, but later he asked, "What was that game you and daddy played about falling off the bed?" I said something like, "You know when you are naked and maybe don't feel like having other people see you? We didn't want to be seen, so we went off the side of the bed."

Lame, right? I simply had no idea what to say.

After I have wanted to get a book or something and answer his question more honesly and open heartedly. I just don't know if it is really too early to broach the subject.

He had asked me a few months previously, "Mom, how do they make [his name]'s in a factory?" I said, "we take a little piece of mom and a little piece of dad and mix it up in mom's tummy and it grows there." That I felt ok about - it was honest and straightforward enough.

But I do feel like I let myself or him down with not being able to answer his question.

So - questions:

Should i just let it go?

Does anyone know of any books that might be appropirate for a 3 yo?

Thanks!

[sapphire_chan]

Well, I think where you've started is good. I'm surprised he understood about wanting privacy when being naked though.

He probably doesn't need to know that you were having sex at this point and you can probably just wait until he asks how the different pieces of you guys got into your belly (okay, how dh's pieces got there ) before getting into it.

[CrunchyChristianMama]

I think your answer was fine. It wasn't more information than a 3-year-old needs, nor were you untruthful with him. Those to me are the two keys to answering sex questions at any age.

[LynnS6]

I think you did fine -- you explained to him why you rolled off the bed. You've given him the basics of how a baby is made.

The book "It's not the Stork" is a good one to have around.

I would encourage you to use accurate terms and just answer the questions as they come.

When our 3 year old asked the "How does somebody get made" question, I told her that "an egg from mommy and a sperm from daddy (like a seed) come together and make a baby in mommy's womb." (For reasons I can't explain I hate describing it as being in mommy's tummy -- it's not in my stomach, it's my womb.) We talked about the womb being a special place for babies to grow.

About 6 months later, she wanted to know more, I think this was about where the baby came out.

About 6 months later, she wanted to know how the sperm and the egg got together. So I told her something along the lines of "Daddy and Mommy put daddy's penis inside mommy's vagina and the sperm comes out and swims up to the egg." Simple and accurate.

[butterfly_mommy]

I second It's Not the Stork - great book as are the other's in the series (for older kids)

My DS has not really asked anything about sex or how people were made yet but he does talk about his penis and did notice a few weeks ago my pubic hair "Mama what's that black stuff?" He had a real fascination and LOVED talking about my Diva cup and where it goes "Mama your Diva cup in your vulva"?

Anyway my friend has Not the Stork and got it when her DD was 2 and I just got it for DS and put in on his bookshelf and will read from it as he asks/shows interest. Pretty much the same as I would do for anything really. Make honest age-appropriate info available to him or guide him to where to find it. Oh and I figure he is old enough when he asks

[CatherineEL]

Thanks you guys!

I agree about differentiating between tummy and womb .... maybe "belly" is a good general term.... anyway - thank you for the idea.

I"ll try the It's Not the Stork book - thank you so much for the recommendation.

While I agree that I didn't really lie, it was more of an energy that I could feel between us -- like he wanted to ask more questions or get more info but didn't know how (but also realized that there was more info to be had....)

So it seems like he's ready for more info - I'm so happy to have a good book to search out - thanks again!!

[rightkindofme]

I alternate between using 'belly' and 'uterus'. I'm pregnant so it's been a hot topic of conversation around here. She knows that the baby is inside a special sort of bag inside my uterus but my uterus is in my belly so most of the time we say belly. (And it's not that I want her to stop sticking her elbow into my uterus, I want her to stop sticking her elbow into my belly. It's all weird.)

I think your explanation is awesome. So far my two year old is very acquainted with where babies come out (yay youtube videos!) but she hasn't asked how the baby got in there. I'll probably be pretty factual because I am about everything else.

[LCBMAX]

I still love the first book I read on the subject: Where Did I Come From? and I just passed my older goddaughter the big kid one called What's Happening to Me?

With Where Did I Come From, you can leave the text alone and just use the friendly pictures when your kid is interested.

I'm pretty sure you're gonna get another chance at this thing!