I have a picker!

[Grace and Granola]

My 3.5 yo ds is a picker. He picks his nose, he picks scabs, nails, any little bump....he's picking at it. The nose has tapered off a bit, and I'm not even that worried about nose picking because I think later on I can talk to him more logically about why picking (at least in public) isn't a good idea. But the scab picking is grossing me out because he makes himself bleed and then these little bug bites are taking forever to heal. He has a little bump on his cheek now, it kind of looks like a little white head or pimple, and he keeps picking at it. It hasn't opened up yet, but I'm sure it will. And then he is going to have a bloody scabby spot on his face that he will keep picking at until he can't anymore. I don't want him to end up with scars all over his body either.

This seems like something I have zero control over, but is there any logic I can use on a 3yo? He is a very stubborn/oppositional creature, and any words I've tried seem to just make him want to do it more.

[mizzoh]

my ds went through a similar stage at that age. the most annoying was the picking at his fingernails! we'd explain to him over and over why it was bad to do it, but he just kept on doing it...we were powerless to stop it. finally i think we just gave up saying something, and eventually he stopped doing it. once in a while he'll do it and then it will hurt, and i'll just use that moment to explain to him that this is why it's not a good idea to pick at yourself

[Grace and Granola]

When he finds himself bleeding, I try to explain to him why that happens, but then he insists that he DID NOT pick it! He tells me he was just rubbing it. This boy can talk circles around me!

[mom2happy]

My Ds did that from about 3-4.5 yrs old. It was really gross to watch and nothing worked but to leave him alone. He stopped that and started sucking on the sleeves of all of his long sleeved shirts. Now he is 5 and doesnt do any of this.
Hopefully for your ds its just one of those stages they go through.

[Grace and Granola]

Originally Posted by mom2happy

My Ds did that from about 3-4.5 yrs old. It was really gross to watch and nothing worked but to leave him alone. He stopped that and started sucking on the sleeves of all of his long sleeved shirts. Now he is 5 and doesnt do any of this.
Hopefully for your ds its just one of those stages they go through.

This is so good to know! Did you completely ignore the behavior?

[mom2happy]

Eventually yeah, It was ridiculous to waste the time on it when that age is already full of too many no and stop thats. It worked to tell him he could do it whenever he wanted at home, but in public not to. He was able to curb it when we went out.
The shirt sleeve sucking thing immediately followed and he wasn't able to stop that. He always had soaking wet sleeves. That just resolved in May when we changed to t shirts.
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[One_Girl]

I taught my dd to lightly pinch her nose together from the bridge to the nostrils when she had an itch inside. I had a nice little song that went with it and it worked until she was in preschool and her teacher refused to do that or the song, she prefered to just tell dd it was gross and my dd developed a nasty nose picking problem that only recently went away. If you can find alternate behaviors for the picking at scabs and nose picking I think that it is a good idea to do them now. It really isn't that easy to reason with some kids about nose picking and scab picking once the habit is developed. Perhaps he can rub his thumb and pointer together if he wants to pick at something.

[JuniperBCN]

My DS (4) picks too! We were looking at photos from last summer in July and he has the exact same scab from a bug bite on his cheek now as then.... it did heal over the winter.

Lately I've been sort of tut-tutting over the blood and bringing him into the bathroom to clean it off with a bit of soap and water. At this point he knows a bit about bacteria and that it's important to clean scratches and wounds so they don't get worse (curiously, Magic School Bus helped with this info). I make sure he has a chance to look at the bloody mess in the mirror and watch me clean it off. I talk about how it needs to be "quiet" and left alone a bit to begin healing. The last few nights, I've been putting some healing salve on it and covering it with a band-aid so he can't pick in his sleep. It actually looks like if he can get through today/tonight without touching it that it will heal. I told him this at lunch, and so far he's managed to draw his hand away independently. BTW, he is a poster child for stubborn... this kid knows his own mind and doesn't want anyone to tell him what to do!

I guess in summary, give information without a lot of emotion and try and help the healing process when he's asleep.

[Grace and Granola]

Originally Posted by JuniperBCN

My DS (4) picks too! We were looking at photos from last summer in July and he has the exact same scab from a bug bite on his cheek now as then.... it did heal over the winter.

Lately I've been sort of tut-tutting over the blood and bringing him into the bathroom to clean it off with a bit of soap and water. At this point he knows a bit about bacteria and that it's important to clean scratches and wounds so they don't get worse (curiously, Magic School Bus helped with this info). I make sure he has a chance to look at the bloody mess in the mirror and watch me clean it off. I talk about how it needs to be "quiet" and left alone a bit to begin healing. The last few nights, I've been putting some healing salve on it and covering it with a band-aid so he can't pick in his sleep. It actually looks like if he can get through today/tonight without touching it that it will heal. I told him this at lunch, and so far he's managed to draw his hand away independently. BTW, he is a poster child for stubborn... this kid knows his own mind and doesn't want anyone to tell him what to do!

I guess in summary, give information without a lot of emotion and try and help the healing process when he's asleep.

Which magic schoolbus episode? That might really help and open up the converation so he doesn't think it's just because I'm a mean mom!

[lookatreestar]

i have a picker too. nose, scabs, paint.... you name it she wants to pick it! i have even seen her after her little brother trying to get at his scab!! aaagh. for her it is habit but also sensory so we do a lot of sticker/picking activities. with the nose thing i just tell her to go in the bathroom/get a tissue etc.