overwhelmed with clutter

[sosurreal09]

my house really isnt too bad bad i am so overwhelmed just looking around like there is just clutter everywhere i really need to get rid of stuff for my state of mind but how do i even start? i feel like we need everything we have...
DP hold onto everything and its all "sentimental" like old broken cologne bottles that were his dad's and a bunch of old toys that are gross and action figures hes keeping in the attic. not to mention his whole teenage "skull" collection. how do i push him to get rid of this stuff without upsetting him?

[justmeandmybrood]

I feel your pain! Here is what I would do/have done in our home

1) pick one small room/closet/even piece of furniture (i.e., desk, etc.) to get started. First ensure things are tidy. Getting rid of obvious trash (such as junk mail in a desk drawer) will make the rest a bit easier. If you have duplicates and do not need extras, get rid of them (we had 3 boxes of paper clips and rarely use any, so I donated 2 boxes; same with the TONS of #2 pencils we had!). Sometimes even just cleaning out a small space and decluttering/reorganizing it encourage me so much that it makes me want to tackle progressively larger projects

2) My DH's Dad passed away 5 yrs ago. His Dad was a Depression era kid with 82 yrs of hoarding behind him. Unfortunately, a TON of his stuff came to live with us upon his passing. Some things I had to work with DH on (i.e., we were able to give away the 2 dozen or so small telescopes to our children's friends). SO much of it just took time - and time has helped heal DH and has helped him understand it is okay to let go of some things and keep the really important/special items. With our own age and experience, we are both improving with sentimental items, but it is still hard! I will say the one thing I took from my FIL's death and allllll the stuff he left behind - I DO NOT want to leave my loved ones to deal with so much of my own stuff when I go - I am trying to make it easier starting now, by keeping special items and giving the other items a chance to be loved by someone else

[sosurreal09]

TY his dad passed 10 years ago but he was only a teen so i think its hard for him to deal with it period. my mom passed when i was teen and i only kept the special stuff so it is hard for me to relate wanting to keep what i see as junk.

right so i have to start small sounds good lets hope i get somewhere!

[justmeandmybrood]

I am so sorry for your losses...it is interesting how differently we each handle grief. Maybe there is some way to compromise on keeping things - if he has a lot, perhaps you can offer to get a shadowbox frame and some picture frames and frame some special photos and objects? I do hope at some point the things that are not as functional or may not be as special make their way out!

GL - you can do this! I get overwhelmed so easily, so I know of where I speak, lol! Start small...get your three bags/bins - a "Donate" pile, a "Chunk" pile, and a "Sell" pile and go from there. I have been working on my basement for the summer and keep my bags handy to keep adding to them as I build up the courage and patience to delve deeper.

Another way to start might be to begin with the room you are in the most - for me, it is the kitchen, where we nearly live! Once I could see the immediate difference, it gave me hope

Keep us updated with your progress...and remember to find a place for everything so that as you declutter you have designated spaces for the things you keep, and then (the hard part), ensure that from here on out, those things will always go there and only there. The habit takes a few weeks for me, but once I do it, it feels great