5 1/2 yr. old DS is having MAJOR issues with not listening, especially to my mom who also lives here.
I need help specifically wondering what I should do about tonight. There was a bit of chaos--I slipped in some mud chasing down DS2 in the road. I'm fine, he had a bleeding cut, and I had to go put my contacts in because I'm pretty much useless without them to help DS2 with the cut.
Before I went to put in my contacts, I told the older 2 it was time to stay inside and get ready for a bath.
Instead, both DS1 and DD (3.5 barely) ran outside. I got my contacts in, helped DS2 get a bandaid and get in the bath (he is 20 mos.) then looked out to find my mom coming with DD, but DS1 was gone.
Turns out he was in the "forbidden zone" out in back. It is forbidden because of a ditch full of water. Disgusting, who knows how deep, old nasty rainwater.
He did come inside with me when called--an improvement over running away.
He did tell me the truth about his shoes--that they were all wet because he went in the edge of the water out back.
He is currently in the tub as requested. He has been told he is going to bed immediately after eating tonight with no movie.
DD *will* be getting a show in the livingroom because she came back with Grandma--which is HUGE because they have not been listening to her AT ALL.
Now....here is the question.
Do I leave 'no movie tonight' as the sole consequence for going out back? He did not come back when Grandma called. My new--within the last 2 days--consequence for not listening to Grandma is that you don't get to use the cable TV and internet that she pays for.
I already said he wouldn't be going out to play tomorrow...but I feel like I should go a little easier on him or something since he did tell me the truth about what he did.
I don't want to PUNISH him for telling me the truth.
This is hard.
OR do I tell him since he told me the truth, I'll let him stay up and watch the movie...but he can't go outside tomorrow because the rule he broke was outside. (I feel like this is more punishment for all of us, and depriving him of a NEED--active, outdoor play, while taking away something like a movie is a PRIVILIGE.) I don't feel bad about taking away say, the freedom to ride your bike outside while mom is inside making dinner or cleaning. I *do* feel bad about a punishment that includes me not taking them out all day. I think the outside active play is a need, and I wouldn't take away something like food....
He's been without the cable and internet for two days and there's been no improvement in the listening to Grandma. He'll be without it tomorrow as well...until/unless he starts showing improved listening to my mom.
(It's been *bad* the last couple days, they lost all semi-supervised outdoor privileges yesterday because the day before, when they had that privilege, they found a hose and sprayed a neighbor's balcony, into their open door and apt. And they just plain think they don't have to listen to ANYBODY.)
I need help specifically wondering what I should do about tonight. There was a bit of chaos--I slipped in some mud chasing down DS2 in the road. I'm fine, he had a bleeding cut, and I had to go put my contacts in because I'm pretty much useless without them to help DS2 with the cut.
Before I went to put in my contacts, I told the older 2 it was time to stay inside and get ready for a bath.
Instead, both DS1 and DD (3.5 barely) ran outside. I got my contacts in, helped DS2 get a bandaid and get in the bath (he is 20 mos.) then looked out to find my mom coming with DD, but DS1 was gone.
Turns out he was in the "forbidden zone" out in back. It is forbidden because of a ditch full of water. Disgusting, who knows how deep, old nasty rainwater.
He did come inside with me when called--an improvement over running away.
He did tell me the truth about his shoes--that they were all wet because he went in the edge of the water out back.
He is currently in the tub as requested. He has been told he is going to bed immediately after eating tonight with no movie.
DD *will* be getting a show in the livingroom because she came back with Grandma--which is HUGE because they have not been listening to her AT ALL.
Now....here is the question.
Do I leave 'no movie tonight' as the sole consequence for going out back? He did not come back when Grandma called. My new--within the last 2 days--consequence for not listening to Grandma is that you don't get to use the cable TV and internet that she pays for.
I already said he wouldn't be going out to play tomorrow...but I feel like I should go a little easier on him or something since he did tell me the truth about what he did.
I don't want to PUNISH him for telling me the truth.
This is hard.
OR do I tell him since he told me the truth, I'll let him stay up and watch the movie...but he can't go outside tomorrow because the rule he broke was outside. (I feel like this is more punishment for all of us, and depriving him of a NEED--active, outdoor play, while taking away something like a movie is a PRIVILIGE.) I don't feel bad about taking away say, the freedom to ride your bike outside while mom is inside making dinner or cleaning. I *do* feel bad about a punishment that includes me not taking them out all day. I think the outside active play is a need, and I wouldn't take away something like food....
He's been without the cable and internet for two days and there's been no improvement in the listening to Grandma. He'll be without it tomorrow as well...until/unless he starts showing improved listening to my mom.
(It's been *bad* the last couple days, they lost all semi-supervised outdoor privileges yesterday because the day before, when they had that privilege, they found a hose and sprayed a neighbor's balcony, into their open door and apt. And they just plain think they don't have to listen to ANYBODY.)
