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Newbie looking for other Moms in the area

post #1 of 16
7/22/10 at 10:34pm
Thread Starter 
How does one go about meeting other parents in the area?
Ok, let me be more specific...
without having a car (only having T access) and not being able to spend an arm and a leg on things like Gymboree how does one go around meeting other parents?

My son is just shy of 11 months and I'm looking to meet other moms in the area. I don't have a car (except for weekends) and live along the red line.
Any help is greatly appreciated.

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post #2 of 16
7/23/10 at 12:47pm
Where exactly do you live?
some ideas of free ways to meet other moms: local libraries often have story times; cool playgrounds often attract cool moms & kids; some hospitals offer new mom groups for free, and even though your son is a little older, maybe they can direct you to some appropriate groups. You could check out local La Leche League meetings if you're a nursing mama, or Babywearing Groups, if you're a babywearing mama. You'd have to google for ones in your area, or along the red line. Also, if there are any cool cafes in your area, cool maternity/toy stores, or places like that that have message boards, sometimes there are postings for moms groups.
I've moved cross-country, and had to re-establish myself a few times. I find that if I start doing things that I'm interested in, other people like me are probably doing similar things. Then you just have to be bold, reach out, and talk to people, let them know you're interested in a friendship/playgroup, etc. Sometimes things don't click, and that's okay, but there are likely other moms out there in similar situations who may be too shy to do the reaching out.
Good luck!
post #3 of 16
7/23/10 at 2:08pm
Thread Starter 
I've been doing most of these things.
I think I just need to remind myself to keep trying. I have some social anxiety so it tends to be a bit harder for me to really connect with people.

Someone elsewhere had suggested coffee shops and boards so tomorrow I'll be checking some out.

I appreciate the suggestions. It helps keep me going
post #4 of 16
7/23/10 at 3:14pm
In my experience, certain areas of the country have a lot of people who stayed close to home, and so they already have networks of friends, etc. Massachusetts seems to be more that way than, say, San Diego or NYC, where you may find a lot of transplants. When I moved to RI from CA, it was a bit harder to find people who, like me wanted to meet other moms and didn't have a social network already in place (but i did find them!). Definitely keep trying!
Where exactly do you live? Have you posted directly on here to see if there are any local playgroups of mdc mamas?
post #5 of 16
7/23/10 at 4:49pm
Thread Starter 
I'm in Boston. Dorchester to be exact.
I'm posting on lots of different boards. I think the big issue is that people can't really afford to be SAHMs in this area. If I had a car it would be much easier for me. But getting rid of the car and some other expenses are what allow me to stay at home. Catch 22.

I should post directly but I'm a bit new to the boards and just getting the hang around here.
post #6 of 16
7/24/10 at 4:53pm
Are there any local bookstores? Most bookstores have a weekly storytime. It's a great way to meet other moms.

Farmer's Market? I find the women that go to these tend to be chatty and down to earth.

Does your city have free family concerts (for example, Natick has Concerts on the Common.)
post #7 of 16
7/25/10 at 12:01am
No real advice but... are you on LJ? I see someone with the same username around a few of the communities I belong to on there - if you're not, forgive me for being totally creepy haha.

I'm actually dealing with the same issue as you, I have ZERO real mom friends and I'm struggling with it pretty hard right now. Even when I meet people, I don't know what to do or say to actually initiate anything more than a casual conversation (okay, that sounds like I'm trying to pick them up, all I want is a playdate, I swear) and my husband keeps telling me I should "get their numbers" (apparently he thinks I'm trying to date them too) but I can't fathom how to do that in a normal way... I'm not usually this awkward, I think it's just because I'm so freaking desperate haha. Too bad I'm in SE CT or we could have a "Moms Wanting Mom Friends" group
post #8 of 16
7/25/10 at 9:37am
Quote:
Originally Posted by emilik View Post
No real advice but... are you on LJ?
I hope it is you because I just friended you.
post #9 of 16
7/25/10 at 10:27pm
Thread Starter 
it is me. I was wondering who did that. I'll add you back.

sadly I recently had some drama with people on LJ so I am really hoping to meet people in person.

My guy is a little small for the story times and still doesn't want to sit still for long. I did find a coupon for a free Gymboree class and that went well. I have a playdate with one of the other moms this week.

I have mommy cards so I often give those to people. Most people never contact me but at least I try. I can do the casual conversation and then I feel like I sort of fail at the next step. I have social anxiety so maybe it's just me but it sort of sucks when you give someone a card and they seem all excited and then never contact you. I keep trying and at least one person did email me back.
post #10 of 16
7/25/10 at 10:35pm
Ick, that sucks about LJ drama (I'm brand_new_hope_ over there btw), but real life friends are good! You're way ahead of where I am haha, I was considering the mommy cards thing but I didn't know if people actually did that - you have inspired me to give it a go My daughter is still very small so I too feel like library activities are kind of futile, but I'm hoping as she gets older she'll actually be interested in things like that, I can't wait to get out and do more stuff with her. Hope the upcoming playdate goes well!
post #11 of 16
7/26/10 at 12:04am
it does seem a bit like you're trying to date the person...it's okay, that's normal! a mom that i met in a class with our kids were taking "asked me out" for coffee. we talked, we clicked, we hung out more. we were both looking for other mom friends.
there was another mom who i felt that i clicked with in that class too, we made a playdate, it didn't work out (park closed) and we were at different points in our lives (she was heading back to work) and we didn't end up staying in touch. and that was fine too. i've clicked with moms over the train table at Barnes & Noble or other places, exchanged emails, emailed them, and got no response...but you can't take it personally. keep trying and there will be people who you click with, it's easy, etc., it just may take multiple attempts to find them.
post #12 of 16
7/26/10 at 12:05am
another idea i just had...if you have friends who don't have kids, ask if they know anyone (friends, family) who have become SAHMs who may want to do a playdate too. Use your networks that are already in place to help you find people who may be in a similar space as you.
post #13 of 16
7/26/10 at 10:11am
I don't go into the city but if you can take the T to metrowest, I'd be happy to meet up.
post #14 of 16
10/2/10 at 12:53am
Hey there,
I'm a hip mama and am car-less in Boston. I met another hip mama at a yoga with you tots class and we have hung out a few times so that is an option. My girl is 4 months so our kids wouldn't have too much in common...but I'm into T-accessable, cheap things, we could meet up...the arboretum is good. I grew up in Boston but have been away for almost 15 years in VT, Cali, and abroad...and although I love it here in some ways I have a very different way of looking at things than a lot of my friends from high school. The new other moms in my neighborhood (the south end) spend a lot of money on strollers and classes at Isis...not my thing. Anyway, there are others out there they are just hard to spot at first....cheers!
post #15 of 16
10/4/10 at 11:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by teawithfrodo View Post
How does one go about meeting other parents in the area?
Ok, let me be more specific...
without having a car (only having T access) and not being able to spend an arm and a leg on things like Gymboree how does one go around meeting other parents?

My son is just shy of 11 months and I'm looking to meet other moms in the area. I don't have a car (except for weekends) and live along the red line.
Any help is greatly appreciated.
I'm in the same boat as you car wise, which makes it hard with some of the mom groups. Plus, I'm the crunchy AP freak who has the high needs baby...

I'm part time work at home mom and I have zero mom friends. My daughter is 10 months old. I'm a 15 walk from the Kendall Sq stop, so on the Red line. I'd be happy to meet up sometime, as long as it's not when I have childcare/have to work (3 mornings and 1 afternoon a week). PM me if you want!
post #16 of 16
10/4/10 at 1:45pm
Also, what is LJ?

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There Is Not Always a "Fix" For the Difficult Child
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