is having a teenager supposed to feel like being in an emotionally toxic relationship? - Page 2

[kathymuggle]

Originally Posted by blessedwithboys

And then the depression...he has always has periods of sadness, but this one is just the worst yet. He literally sleeps every minute I let him. I've allowed him to sleep a lot this summer, and even planned my days around his need to sleep, but last school year it was bad and I can't see dealing with it again this coming school year. He'll be a sophomore and will have more HW than ever before. I can't just let him come home, shower, and crash at 4pm. It keeps him up all night. He seems to have my sleep troubles, so it's hard enough for him to fall asleep at a normal hour for bedtime and taking an after-school nap basically means he doesn't sleep at night. But how do you prevent a 135# person who is a full 3" taller than yourself from getting into bed? I've asked him to sit on the couch with me so I could keep him engaged in conversation to keep him awake and he literally nods off in the middle of talking.

Do I let him sleep in the afternoon, stay up all night, and just fail school? This is what happened to me. I left school at the end of 10th grade bc of my sleep disorder and the onset of fibromyalgia. Ds has the early symptoms of it, but I can't find a dr who will seriously accept the fact that an otherwise-healthy teenage boy could have it. And I can't HS bc his not-so df has a court order preventing it.

I have no advice, but empathy.

My Ds sleeps from 3 in the morning to 2 in the afternoon. Every attempt I have made to alter this scheduel has basically failed. I can get him up but it takes many attempts often over hours. He is HSed - so it is not so important...but still. We often have stuff planned, and he sometimes has obligations that start earlier than 3:00 p.m. - so his different sleep habits are relevant.

He also has a physical condition (GERD) that causes him pain, he has had it 3 months, and the doctors have not been overly useful. He is seeing a chiropractor now, and our next stop in a naturopath. I am confident we will find the cause of this, but it may not happen soon.

As I said, he is HSed at the moment, but I think there is part of him that wants to try school. He says he has not made up his mind whether he wants to go in September! I have no idea how school is going to work out with his sleep issues and GERD issues. He has taken a class through cyber school and did well academically - I do not want him to go to school with his sleep and pain issues and not do so well. I do not want to fight him on getting up in the morning. Sigh.

[amynbebes]

This post couldn't have come in a more timely point in my life. I have an almost 15 yr old daughter and a 13 yr old son who to be quite I honest I kinda don't like them a little bit of every day. I adore them, we have really good relationships but dang it all if there's not points every day when they turn into demon teens. I'm glad that it's not just mine

[InMediasRes]

I don't have teenagers, but I just wanted to say that I was a kid who wanted to move in with my dad when I was 16yo too. I didn't tell my mom about it a whole lot, but at that age, it seemed like it would fix all my problems with my mom (we didn't communicate well, but that was about it, normal power struggles).

Please try to ease your fears about him leaving you at 18. It really only took those 2 short years for me to get my head on straight and realize that I would be MORE unhappy with my dad than I was with my mom and stepdad. My dad and I ended up having a falling out and haven't really spoken much over the last 7 years. We are cordial, but I would never live with him in a million years.

Peace - I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

[journeymom]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

I have no advice, but empathy.

My Ds sleeps from 3 in the morning to 2 in the afternoon. Every attempt I have made to alter this scheduel has basically failed. I can get him up but it takes many attempts often over hours. ... Sigh.

Yes, this is my experience with 15 y.o. dd. No homeschooling though, just summer break. It all comes to a screeching halt in three weeks.

[Irishmommy]

I read out the title of this thread to my almost 16 yo dd. Her response was "Yes".

[nolonger]

Originally Posted by InMediasRes

Please try to ease your fears about him leaving you at 18. It really only took those 2 short years for me to get my head on straight and realize that I would be MORE unhappy with my dad than I was with my mom and stepdad. My dad and I ended up having a falling out and haven't really spoken much over the last 7 years. We are cordial, but I would never live with him in a million years.

Peace - I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

Thank you. : as my 18 year old's friend used to say, "He runs away whenever he doesn't get his own way, but he al;ways comes back because he doesn't like living with his dad."

At this point, I can't see him coming back to live with me, blessedwithboys, but that is because I can't stomach his disrespect and lack of concern for my toddler's safety. He comes by almost every day, says he can hardly wait to get his own place so he doesn't have to live with his dad any more, and says things like "I want to be responsible with money the way you are instead of being like Dad."

[yaM yaM]

I am so appreciating this thread.

And, on the subject of teenage sleep schedules, my 15 year-old daughter is right on board, routinely going to sleep between 4-7am and sleeping until 2-5pm. She is usually waking up as I am winding down from the day's work. It would seem absolutely nuts to me if I didn't know how many others of them there are.

[bestjob]

Does your school district offer night courses or opportunities for co-op education? Could you let him reduce his course load and pick up a part time job or some volunteer activity that suits his sleep schedule?