I am so proud of DH and happy for our friend's children!
DH has a friend with whom he has a very open & honest relationship with. They have several issues about which they feel very differently about, but are able to have real discussions about, even though on occasion one or the other has to go off and think about things before continuing the conversation. One of these things has been discipline.
Background: when we first talked about having children, DH was in the "prefer not to use physical discipline, but probably will have to at some point" camp. Over time, though, he has come around to a full GD approach. There have been times this friend has come to DH, upset because he "had" to spank his oldest (they have two DC, one slightly older then ours, one slightly younger). At first, DH would just listen to him and empathize (this was before we had our DD/when she was very young). DH & I would discuss these situations. At the time, DH was still not all the way on the GD side, and to me it seemed that the hang-up was just not knowing what else to do, so I would explain other things that I might have tried. Over time, DH started gently offering alternatives to his friend (at first, ones he had heard from me, but as time went on, things he came up with), and last week, friend & his DW discussed it and decided they would make an effort to think of alternate options & be more conscious of what they were modeling to their children.
I won't get into specifics because it's not my family, but there have already been a couple of incidents that were handled very differently then they would have been previously, and friend said he can already see the difference in his kids. He is very excited to have another way to interact with and teach his children.
I am sure they will have setbacks, and not every issue will be handled so easily, but I know these parents have been opened up to other possibilities, and am happy for them that they have more tools in their toolbox!
And a lot of that is thanks to *you guys* because I have spent so much time lurking and learning from all of you
DH has a friend with whom he has a very open & honest relationship with. They have several issues about which they feel very differently about, but are able to have real discussions about, even though on occasion one or the other has to go off and think about things before continuing the conversation. One of these things has been discipline.
Background: when we first talked about having children, DH was in the "prefer not to use physical discipline, but probably will have to at some point" camp. Over time, though, he has come around to a full GD approach. There have been times this friend has come to DH, upset because he "had" to spank his oldest (they have two DC, one slightly older then ours, one slightly younger). At first, DH would just listen to him and empathize (this was before we had our DD/when she was very young). DH & I would discuss these situations. At the time, DH was still not all the way on the GD side, and to me it seemed that the hang-up was just not knowing what else to do, so I would explain other things that I might have tried. Over time, DH started gently offering alternatives to his friend (at first, ones he had heard from me, but as time went on, things he came up with), and last week, friend & his DW discussed it and decided they would make an effort to think of alternate options & be more conscious of what they were modeling to their children.
I won't get into specifics because it's not my family, but there have already been a couple of incidents that were handled very differently then they would have been previously, and friend said he can already see the difference in his kids. He is very excited to have another way to interact with and teach his children.
I am sure they will have setbacks, and not every issue will be handled so easily, but I know these parents have been opened up to other possibilities, and am happy for them that they have more tools in their toolbox!
And a lot of that is thanks to *you guys* because I have spent so much time lurking and learning from all of you
