Babysitter experiences?

[ZeezMom]

I'm with the very busy/active/energetic littles all day. At 2-years-old & 9 months we are also constantly nighttime parenting as neither child sleeps well.

Of course, as is common in busy households like this, my husband & I get zero time alone together, & it's starting to emerge as unneeded tension.

I think I'm ready for a babysitter so we can institute a date night. Nothing huge, just a few hours to grab dinner or even a drink for some couple conversation & reconnecting.

Who did you seek out? (Our family is quite a drive away, so I am hoping to find someone in our neighborhood for whom babysitting would be more convenient.) Most importantly, how did your kids handle it? Was it someone they knew? When did they come to the house - when the kids were awake or already in bed?

We would have to do the bedtime routine since I am still nursing, etc. I should add that the kids are usually quiet until about 1-2a. That's when our nighttime fun begins - or else I wouldn't even be considering a sitter right now.

[mommariffic]

I'm a huge fan of help - I know some mommas are hesitant to leave their kids, but without a little time to myself or time for me and DH I tend to go a little insane. Especially hard with parents that are busy/not around!

I've used friends as babysitters; I'm a younger mom [at 26 anyway] so many of my friends don't have kids, and are eager to come spend time with mine! One of my friends grew really close with DD and would put her to bed even though we co-sleep, and I was able to get out to movies/dinner with DH at least once a week.

I've found two of my FAVORITE sitters via Craigslist. The first was a former stay at home mom who had a few grown up kids, and the other (my current sitter) is a gal from South Africa who's AMAZING with children. Both were just so lovely and my DD LOVED THEM and would look forward to them coming over.

One thing I'm always firm about is the way we are raising our kids. I mention homeschooling, the family bed, gentle discipline and little media. None of my sitters have used the television unless I've approved it first, and I make sure there's plenty of outside play/crafts/healthy snacks available for them.

DD was around sitters from 9 months, and she's always adjusted well and calls them her "best friends.." And having a few moments of peace = me being a MUCH better momma!

First, don't feel guilty at all about it and second take your time finding the perfect fit! Once you do, it'll be a great relationship And be open at the kind of child care you want, and what your expectations are!

[ZeezMom]

Originally Posted by mommariffic

I'm a huge fan of help - I know some mommas are hesitant to leave their kids, but without a little time to myself or time for me and DH I tend to go a little insane. Especially hard with parents that are busy/not around!

Thanks for this. I realized as I was posting that I may get a limited response, but felt it was worth feedback. I'm having a little trouble coming around to the idea - but on the days when I am starved for downtime, I suddenly have no trouble at all!

Originally Posted by mommariffic

I've found two of my FAVORITE sitters via Craigslist. The first was a former stay at home mom who had a few grown up kids, and the other (my current sitter) is a gal from South Africa who's AMAZING with children. Both were just so lovely and my DD LOVED THEM and would look forward to them coming over.

See this is my struggle. Ideally, I would like it to be someone my kids know already. Did the sitters, then, spend time with them in the day, first, before working a so-called night shift when your kids were sleeping?

Originally Posted by mommariffic

And having a few moments of peace = me being a MUCH better momma!

Word.

Originally Posted by mommariffic

First, don't feel guilty at all about it and second take your time finding the perfect fit! Once you do, it'll be a great relationship And be open at the kind of child care you want, and what your expectations are!

Good advice. Your input is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

[dongurigal]

Found my babysitters through an online mom's group and advertising in the small apartment building where I live--there are several teenage girls who live in the building. Have also perused the ads on Craigslist too plus word of mouth from friends.

DH and I don't bother with date night--dd doesn't go to bed easily, so if a babysitter came, dd would be up till we got home. However, we have done lunch dates on a sat or sunday. Couple of hours, just us. Babysitter comes during nap time or just after.

Whenever our parents visit or we visit our parents, we also 'take advantage' of us/me time.

[zinemama]

We started by trading babysitting with the parents of my son's best buddy. They took him for a couple of hours while we went out and the next week we swapped. It worked out great, since the kids were used to being at each other's houses anyway. And it was free! We usually did a 6-8pm swap (stretching bedtime just a bit), so no one had to get someone else's kids to sleep.

[Bokonon]

Our babysitter is my son's preschool teacher's 16yo daughter. She has a 4yo sister, so is comfortable with little kids. She's been wonderful. We haven't had her for bedtime yet because that's still a nightmare even for us! So we do early dinners. It's better than nothing!

[ZeezMom]

Originally Posted by zinemama

We started by trading babysitting with the parents of my son's best buddy. They took him for a couple of hours while we went out and the next week we swapped. It worked out great, since the kids were used to being at each other's houses anyway. And it was free! We usually did a 6-8pm swap (stretching bedtime just a bit), so no one had to get someone else's kids to sleep.

Yes! This is exactly the type of arrangement of which I was hoping to convince my fellow mom friends. A sort of babysitting co-op. And your timing idea is a good one, too. I was just thinking that the moms would be more inclined to agree if all they had to do was sit on the couch & relax while the kids were asleep.

[phathui5]

We've had good luck with teenage babysitters. The kids love when they come over because they tend to be fun and play with the kids. Most of mine have taken some sort of babysitting class through the Red Cross that covers babysitting basics and first aid. Teens also tend to be very good about following my directions for what to do with the kids (don't leave babies to cry, use time-out for when kids hurt each other, limit TV).

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by ZeezMom

Yes! This is exactly the type of arrangement of which I was hoping to convince my fellow mom friends.

If your experience is anything like mine (and all my friends), you won't have to convince anyone. They'll jump at the chance for a date. Good luck!

[ZeezMom]

Originally Posted by zinemama

If your experience is anything like mine (and all my friends), you won't have to convince anyone. They'll jump at the chance for a date. Good luck!

That's what I tended to think, too. But so far I've propositioned two women who both agreed it was a good idea, but methinks we're all afraid to make the first move.

I'm getting desperate enough that I just may be the one to break the ice.

[NicaG]

We've had a great experience with a college student I found on Craig's List. She's been babysitting for us for almost a year now. My dh and I were going a little crazy because we have no family help nearby, and dh works pretty long hours, and it was starting to feel like we never had any time to relax and recharge. The stress was really wearing us down. I hired our sitter to come for 3 hours on Sunday afternoons and 3 hours on a weekday afternoon. This works really well for us, since we're not really into evening restaurant dates (we're usually just too tired!). We prefer to have some time on the weekend to do things we used to enjoy before we had kids (go running together, go for a walk, go out for lunch or coffee and read the paper together and talk). Sometimes we also just use the time to get projects done around the house or catch up on bills. If the weather's nice, the sitter takes the kids to the park, and dh and I get some nice time alone in the house!

I also like having a few hours during the week to schedule appointments, run errands, exercise, or just have a little time to myself. I often use the time to catch up on cleaning/organizing (I find this relaxing, but not everyone would). I think it makes me a much better mother, to be able to have some time to myself every week. Yes, I have time to myself in the evening when the kids are in bed, but I'm usually too tired to use the time productively.

The kids love the sitter (they were 4 and 1 when she started). My ds was old enough that he was completely over separation anxieties. He thinks it's fun when our sitter comes over and plays with him. My dd had a hard time at first but I think it helped that her big brother was always there. Now she absolutely loves the sitter.

Anyway, go for it! I looked into a babysitting coop in our neighborhood, but in the end I wasn't comfortable with the casualness of it--I felt worried that some people would take advantage and others would end up doing more than their fair share. (I know that some coops are much more strict about recording time, etc. but this one wasn't.) I also felt like I didn't really have a lot of time to contribute to taking care of other people's kids--I mean, I was already feeling overwhelmed. I also wanted my kids to establish a relationship with one person who saw them every week, and who got to know their personalities, abilities, etc. I felt like trading babysitting hours meant that my kids had to adjust to new caretakers all the time.

Hope you find a situation that works for you!

[ZeezMom]

For those of you mamas that turned to Craigs List, how did you go about interviewing/hiring?

I'm paranoid, I think. There's been so much scamming going on w/Craigs List lately for folks who are selling items, getting robbed, etc. Did you meet the sitters outside of your home first? Or am I being overprotective?

[NicaG]

Originally Posted by ZeezMom

For those of you mamas that turned to Craigs List, how did you go about interviewing/hiring?

I'm paranoid, I think. There's been so much scamming going on w/Craigs List lately for folks who are selling items, getting robbed, etc. Did you meet the sitters outside of your home first? Or am I being overprotective?

I emailed back and forth a couple times, then asked for her phone number and called her. I talked to her for a while before asking to meet her in person. I also called one of her references and talked to her for a while. I was home for the first few times she came over, not hovering, just home doing some cleaning and phone calls. I guess ultimately I trusted my instincts.

You could also try sittercity.com, or local messageboards in your area, or sometimes preschools have bulletin boards near the main office with babysitter info/phone. Or you could try asking nannies at the playground if they know of any other nannies who are looking for extra hours. Good luck.

[Shanny2032]

As a professional Nanny I have now been on both sides of this fence. A little after my dd was a year old I decided to start looking at sitters. I used sittercity and was very happy with a young lady I found (she is 19, not a rocket scientist by any means but this girl can PLAY for hours). I also found another slightly older girl through an email another mom sent out. I used them at first when I was home - organizing, paying bills, cleaning etc. so I was more comfortable, as was my daughter by the time I started leaving her with them. I schedule them around naps and bedtime so no one else ever has to put her down (that's just mean for everyone in my mind since she'd probably try and nurse - haha!). Anyway it has worked out great and was worth whatever initial fee I paid to that site. I would never use someone who hasn't taken CPR and has not had a background check, I have just seen too many things in my years of child care. My daughter, now 19 months practically kicks me out when they come now and it is cool for me to see her learn things from other people.

[provocativa]

we had a terrible experience with a friend's mom when dd2 was 9 months and dd1 3.5 years. we went out to a bar to see the friend's band. we didn't have a cell phone at the time, and she had the numbers of her son, and others who were with us. when baby woke up she turned light on and tried to play with baby. the first person on the list to get ahold of us forgot to turn his phone off vibrate. she didn't start lighting up the phones until baby had been screaming for an hour! and after that baby would not sleep, even for a nap, without me by her side for about 4 months. we had never thought to give specific instructions (like don't turn on lights; try to cuddle and walk baby around to get back to sleep) because it seemed condescending to say such to an experienced mother / grandmother. . . . but we should have!

[becoming]

This summer I've been using a young college student as a babysitter, and she's worked out really well. Unfortunately, we're moving about 40 miles away & she's going back to college an hour in the other direction, so we won't be able to use her anymore after next week. I did find a couple of prospects on Sitter City (Google it). They have really detailed bios on there. I tend toward younger girls (16-20), because I *think* they're more inclined to be fun & play with the kids rather than sitting & watching TV like older adults.