Romanticizing school

[physmom]

Does anybody else have a problem with this? School was ... interesting, for me. There were some good parts and some bad parts. But I really loved the beginning of each year. You know, when you started with the fresh notebooks and you picked out a new backpack, new pens, new binders etc. It seemed so full of promise of all the things that I got to learn that year (even though many times I eventually did become disappointed with the curriculum).

It's especially bad now because all the stores have all the new school supplies out. I really have my heart set on some form of unschooling with DD. We've already discussed the reasons and I've done a lot of research but every once and awhile I see things like that and feel sad that DD won't experience the same thing. Ok, obviously, she can get new supplies etc if she want but it's not like she'll have a list with certain things on it that she goes to school with to show her friends, you know what I mean?

It's not just the supplies but everything... stuff like picking out classes, dealing with all the ins and outs of schools etc. I certainly get she doesn't need it but sometimes I feel a bit sad that she'll miss out on these things.

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by physmom

Does anybody else have a problem with this? School was ... interesting, for me. There were some good parts and some bad parts. But I really loved the beginning of each year. You know, when you started with the fresh notebooks and you picked out a new backpack, new pens, new binders etc. It seemed so full of promise of all the things that I got to learn that year (even though many times I eventually did become disappointed with the curriculum).

I loved all that too and yeah, most years it was rather disappointing after a few months. Just another year like the last

Ok, obviously, she can get new supplies etc if she want but it's not like she'll have a list with certain things on it that she goes to school with to show her friends, you know what I mean?

Why does the list have to be from someone else? Ask her if she would like to make a list of 'supplies' she would like to have access to at home, let her do the deciding

It's not just the supplies but everything... stuff like picking out classes, dealing with all the ins and outs of schools etc. I certainly get she doesn't need it but sometimes I feel a bit sad that she'll miss out on these things.

Picking out classes.. I'm sure she WILL choose things that she wants to learn about! Some of those might involve outside classes, but when she chooses her 'classes' she'll have the freedom to go as far into the subject as she wants to.. or not if she decides it's not for her. Kids 'choosing classes' at school don't get that, which you obviously know, they're stuck with it and with someone else's idea of what they must learn about it.

She is SO not missing out.. none of those things would make a significant impact on her in the long run. Having the freedom to learn joyfully WILL

ETA: LOL Ok, I don't usually reply on the unschooling forum much, as I'm not an unschooler exactly... guess I followed the yellow brick road to your post

[Oobleckmama]

You could flip this around

and ask yourself about all the things you missed by not unschooling? But I hear you, I loved that stuff too. Maybe what you want is to make rituals with your kid(s) at certain times of the year.

[SundayCrepes]

I absolutely loved living in the dorm when I was in college. I think every 18 year old should have the dorm experience.

I know people who had the time of their life in bootcamp and in the military. They think every 18 year old should have the military experience.

It's not the "What we did" that is so big in our memories but rather "when we did it." I hope I can explain what I mean. We all have times in our life when we are most receptive to events. Youth is the greatest time. Those experiences are just so big. Whatever we did that seems so big to us simply because we were young seems so important and life changing that we think everyone else should have the exact same experience. Except no way I would want me (or my kids) to do the bootcamp thing. But you hear a lot of people who think that's what kids should do.

I remember how fun field trips with girl scouts were. I specifically remember a tour of an A & W rootbeer fast food joint. It was a wonderful experience and one my kids will never get. But they're going to go to the local market that makes woodburning oven pizzas. They will get to make their own pizzas. How cool is that? And watch them bake right beside the burning wood. Hopefully that memory will be as big to them as the rootbeer one is to me.

So know your child will have amazing memories. They will just be different than yours.

[physmom]

Thanks for the suggestions!

I really like the idea of her making her own list. Once she's a little older I might suggest that. And I agree we DO need more rituals but I'm so bad about keeping them up. It doesn't help that we travel a lot and might have a big international move coming up, so it's been really hard to establish any rituals so far.

And thanks for pointing out that a lot of it has to do with the period of time in life that it happens. I never really thought about it like that but that makes a lot of sense.

[pigpokey]

Originally Posted by physmom

Ok, obviously, she can get new supplies etc if she want but it's not like she'll have a list with certain things on it that she goes to school with to show her friends, you know what I mean?

It's not just the supplies but everything... stuff like picking out classes, dealing with all the ins and outs of schools etc. I certainly get she doesn't need it but sometimes I feel a bit sad that she'll miss out on these things.

Hmmm well, there are unschoolers in our home school group and they do take classes, they do pick out schedules, they do have to get required materials. Unschoolers take classes at our rec center, they go to Girl Scouts and have to buy handbooks and uniforms (with Daisy, Brownie and Junior uniforms now lasting only 2 years each), they participate in orchestras where they have to show up with 1" *black* three ring binders, sheet protectors, and a music stand. My kids are booked in a music video on Wednesday and wardrobe #1 is "school uniform look", yes, I had to go out this week at the height of uniform buying frenzy and buy a khaki school uniform jumper for DD (as she has outgrown any khaki bottoms) and a polo shirt for her. Fortunately I had that for DS already. DD has uniforms for swim team, gymnastics team; needs this color leotard for that dance performance, another color and style for class, the list goes on and on.

Don't be sad because of all the stuff someone else will not be telling you to buy her. Because there's a good chance that even more people are going to be sending you shopping lists than if she was in school.

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by physmom

I certainly get she doesn't need it but sometimes I feel a bit sad that she'll miss out on these things.

I remember being surprised to hear my kids' take on this. I had been wondering, in the beginning, if they were going to miss things like class trips, field day, the library, etc. I had a list in my head of the fun parts of school--things *I* liked. It didn't occur to me at the time that not all kids liked these things.

What they told me was that they hated class trips because they were rushed, it was crowded and they often didn't get called on when they had questions. They much preferred to go as a family where they got more individual attention, both from us and from the docents. They also hated the hot, loud bus rides.

Field day at school was not nearly as much fun as park day with the homeschoolers--where they didn't have to play with kids who weren't being fair, and they had control over what was going on and didn't need to wait so long for a turn.

The public library had a much better selection of supplies than the school library, they weren't rushed to make choices and they were allowed to choose from ANYTHING, not just their grade level.

I realize these aren't the specific issues you raised, but my point is, that even the things you might feel sure that your dd will be sad about, may turn out to not be issues--either because they can be replicated outside of school, or because they just aren't important to her to begin with.

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by physmom

Thanks for the suggestions!

I really like the idea of her making her own list. Once she's a little older I might suggest that. And I agree we DO need more rituals but I'm so bad about keeping them up. It doesn't help that we travel a lot and might have a big international move coming up, so it's been really hard to establish any rituals so far.

And thanks for pointing out that a lot of it has to do with the period of time in life that it happens. I never really thought about it like that but that makes a lot of sense.

LOL sorry I didn't catch that your dd is only 18months old or so in your OP... Yes, for a few years down the road then

International move, how exciting!

[bobandjess99]

i understand. I feel that way too sometimes.

[physmom]

Thanks so much for all the new replies! I'm feeling a lot better about it now. I think it just was sort of one of those things when I was in the moment and had a strong memory from childhood. It's so good to have this resource.

Oh, and, yep, the international move is far from written in stone but it's looking more and more likely.