Thank you for all your responses so far!
I am only 25 - so I feel pretty young for this to be 'it'. But DH is 37 and feels 'old' already and wants to be able to play with his children for years to come - I can respect that point of view as well I guess (cause if our ages were reversed, I would feel similar). We have two beautiful and healthy boys and I love them both to bits and the age gap is working out fantastically so far - so if we were to have another, I would shoot for a similar age gap - that puts me at being 30 the 'next time around'.
I know everyone says 'you are still young - theres plenty of time!'...but its more down to that fact that I am lucky even to have two because DH really does not want more children. In the end, I only have two because he wanted me to be happy - and for him, that was the only reason to agree to have another child ...because I really wanted another child (we may have never even had children if DS1 wasn't a bit of a surprise - he changed me so much and I never knew that I would feel this way. I fell into the mothering role quickly and very well and in love with it!). So in that sense, I can see him agreeing - in about 4 years in time - to try for a third because I won't shut up about it
There are a million resons why I feel I want another child. There are just as equally a million reasons why what we have is great - why we shouldn't have anymore and keep our lot the way it is.
BUT...and this is where I feel DH will never understand me... I feel that there are more children out there for me. I don't feel 'done'. This feeling has nothing to do with why I would like more children or why I wouldn't. Its very seperate. It is a hard feeling to explain.
I have a few friends who do feel 'done' and 'complete'. I have one with two children and she has no desire for more at all. She holds babies and likes them but is just as happy to give them back without an ache in her own heart and womb. She is 'done'. I have another friend with four children. She said that before she had her last, she felt like there was another out there for her and then when she was born, she suddenly felt very 'complete' and 'done'. I do not feel this way. I want
to feel that way because I worry that I will forever feel this way and I don't like that feeling and I am not going to like that feeling whilst all my friends continue to have babies and then eventually my own children have babies and if I am lucky, I may become a great grandmother too!...and I don't want to feel that ache forever.
Maybe this feeling may change will time. Maybe as my boys grow and I have more freedom and time for myself and to do other things I love - and I will fall in love with that freedom more and desire that life over another child and be happy and content and feel more 'complete'...who knows! But maybe I won't. Obviously there isn't much point in worrying about all these things and maybes because what will be will be - but I just needed to hear from other mums with older children who have felt the way I do perhaps and to talk about this.