Working too much?

[Ceinwen]

Has anyone unintentionally become the main wage earner?

My ex and I divorced over a year ago, and my gf and I moved in together last November.

Since then I've become the main wage earner. She works 40 hours a week, but makes less than half what I do salary wise. I'm an RN and work around 7-8 shifts (12 hours) in a 2 week period.

We just bought a new house, and after a six month grace/financial stabilizing period, we're going to have her drop to part time hours at work (max. 20 hours a week) to try and ease things on the home front.

This is something she absolutely wants. On the other hand, I always envisioned myself as the part-time working, SAH, child raising, home steading, on and on, type mama.

Part of me is envious. Part of me is relieved. It's kind of all tossed around in my mind right now. I know this is what's best for the kids, but it kind of smarts a little that I'm (for all intents and purposes) becoming the 'outside the house' parent.

Anyone else?

[bluebunny]

I'm not in your position but my best friend is in a similar position. She makes way more than her partner but she put her foot down and said that she wanted to be the primary SAH parent, working part-time. Her partner isn't thrilled with it but that's the decision they are both okay with right now.

Could you re-assess after a year and see about switching?

[One_Girl]

I'm a single mama who just graduated, but I am currently working a lot more than I thought I would be after getting my degree. I got a teaching degree and expected to be working for a school district with 7.5 hour days and summers off (planning and grading take more time but that is something I can do when dd is asleep). I haven't been able to find a teaching job though and am working 4-10 hour days a week and there are no sick days or summers off. With travel to and from daycare and the mandatory lunch break we are away from the house for almost 14 hours a day 4 days a week. By the time I get home it is bedtime and on my days off I am exhausted. I keep praying for a change and putting in applications but I am giving up hope. At this point I would take a job that didn't require shift work, I think a job requiring only 8 hour days would make things much easier because I wouldn't have to go days on end only seeing my dd for an hour in the morning and an hour at night. My dd likes her daycare a lot and they have been wonderful for her, but she tells me often how she wishes she could see me more even though it evens out to the same amount of time working that it would if I worked 5 days a week for only 8 hours it feels like it is much more to both of us. I am happy to have a job and relieved about not having to worry about where money is going to come from, but I am sad and drained now and I see no end in sight. I think it is hard to be away from your child no matter what you intended. I hope that it gets better with time, I am not feeling like it will though.