In a very odd turn of events, my father is now living with me.
It’s odd because he was an absentee father who I barely spoke to growing up. He asked if he could come to visit, then he asked if he could stay for a while, then he asked if he could stay long-term. He cooks dinner and cleans it up every single night (and as a WOHM it allows me to come home from work and focus entirely on my children, which I value tremendously), he is willing to watch the kids when we need/want (which gives my SAHD hubby some freedom, which he values), and he makes himself fairly scarce.
My mother is beside herself with anger because she raised us without his help (he still owes her like $20,000 in child support)…but that’s another post.
I don’t know why I’m ok with him living with me. I’m not one to overanalyze my feelings; I am fairly easy-going and just go with the flow. I should be angry and resentful towards him, but I’m not.
Here are my questions:
He steps in and tries to correct/discipline my toddler, while I’m standing right there trying to deal with the situation. I’m still trying to find my footing with handling my toddler (I recently read The Happiest Toddler On the Block and I’m attempting to implement some of those strategies, and trying to see what will work for us and what won’t).
By allowing him to live in my house, I’m not giving him permission to be a partner in raising my children…right? I almost feel like as an adult in the house, he has some right to have some say in the raising of my children. Again, I don’t know why I feel that way, or where it’s coming from, but it’s guiding my actions, and I sit back and allow him to insert his opinion when I don’t want or need it.
I need some suggestions on what I can say to gently tell him to back off. I am completely at a loss for words and I feel a growing resentment that I want to stop.
I feel powerless to speak up for myself.
It’s odd because he was an absentee father who I barely spoke to growing up. He asked if he could come to visit, then he asked if he could stay for a while, then he asked if he could stay long-term. He cooks dinner and cleans it up every single night (and as a WOHM it allows me to come home from work and focus entirely on my children, which I value tremendously), he is willing to watch the kids when we need/want (which gives my SAHD hubby some freedom, which he values), and he makes himself fairly scarce.
My mother is beside herself with anger because she raised us without his help (he still owes her like $20,000 in child support)…but that’s another post.
I don’t know why I’m ok with him living with me. I’m not one to overanalyze my feelings; I am fairly easy-going and just go with the flow. I should be angry and resentful towards him, but I’m not.
Here are my questions:
He steps in and tries to correct/discipline my toddler, while I’m standing right there trying to deal with the situation. I’m still trying to find my footing with handling my toddler (I recently read The Happiest Toddler On the Block and I’m attempting to implement some of those strategies, and trying to see what will work for us and what won’t).
By allowing him to live in my house, I’m not giving him permission to be a partner in raising my children…right? I almost feel like as an adult in the house, he has some right to have some say in the raising of my children. Again, I don’t know why I feel that way, or where it’s coming from, but it’s guiding my actions, and I sit back and allow him to insert his opinion when I don’t want or need it.
I need some suggestions on what I can say to gently tell him to back off. I am completely at a loss for words and I feel a growing resentment that I want to stop.
I feel powerless to speak up for myself.
