Fussy Baby-Depressed Mama

[joliebebe]

Hi all,

I dont really know where to post this, I hope this is ok.

My 3rd baby who is 5 months old is extremely fussy. He will cry on and off during the day and particularly at night, cannot sleep for more than 20 mins during the day, is a distracted nurser (I have to go in the bed and lay down with him to feed) and is generally is not a happy baby, although he does periods when he is happy and smiley.

Im feeling completely overwhelmed by his needs, taking care of two other young children and keeping up with cooking and household demands, what to speak of time out for me.

I wonder if something is wrong with him, or is it me?

My other two, as babies, were not like this, and particularly my second baby was a breeze compared to him. I carry him in a sling often as this can be the only way to get things done, but he is a heavy boy and doesnt like to be carried for longer than 10-15 mins unless Im constantly moving.

Ive considered allergies, reflux, birth trauma, nutritional deficiencies, colic, separation anxiety and lots more as possible causes for his fussiness and Im at my wits end. We are getting him allergy tested after an elimination diet for dairy and wheat didn't pinpoint anything.

Any ideas or suggestions? Any been though a similiar thing and come out the other side (in one piece!) ?

[SubliminalDarkness]

It sounds like you have a high needs baby.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050100.asp

You have my sympathy. My DS2 was the same way. It was EXHAUSTING. But, it doesn't go on forever. You're not doing anything wrong. And more than likely, there's nothing wrong with your child. He just has high needs.

[MyTwoCherries]

My oldest was like this. Hard, hard, hard until he started walking and then it was like a light lit in his head and he could finally move/do as he pleased. He was much easier. He's definitely more work than my other kids-very particular, needs a schedule, very sensitive, very busy, very thoughtful, very whatever he's doing. High needs.

HANG IN THERE. Accept help if possible through friends, neighbors, etc.

Hugs to you! I have a five month old as well and that is when separation anxiety kicks in. My little guy has been overall pretty by the book, fussy evenings in the beginning, a little reflux, etc. but overall pretty easy. But just out of nowhere this week he'll cry whenever I put him down, leave the room, leave him, etc. I'd imagine your little guy is already high needs and then as he enters/goes through stages it's amplified big time. Keep looking into allergies and such as well-but hugs! You're doing wonderful!

[Learning_Mum]

I'm in NZ too, where abouts are you?

[joliebebe]

Hey, we're in Auckland :-) What about you?

[Learning_Mum]

Auckland too! I'll PM you.

[majorsky]

I know what you're going through.

I have a high needs/fussy baby who just celebrated his first birthday last week. I've been at my wit's end so many times in the last year, I couldn't begin to count them. My first child, DD, was a high needs baby and challenging until she turned one. My second child, DS, is eclipsing my DD in the needs department.

I thought my DD would never come to the end of her fussy stage, but when it did happen it happened quickly. Even with that experience, I still wonder if my DS will always be a fussy and unbelievably INTENSE child... but the logical part of me says it's going to end eventually.

My DS has a cow dairy intolerance through my breastmilk, but I don't think that has anything to do with his fussiness because he's just as fussy now as he was before I eliminated cow dairy from my diet (10 months ago). I think he just has a very intense personality, he's very persistent, and teething makes him crazy. I just can't wait for him to start walking and discover the world -- that's really what brought my DD out of the fussies.

Kristin

[kjbrown92]

You took out all dairy and all wheat or all gluten? It sounds like something is definitely bothering him. The other big triggers are corn and soy. When my DS was up 10-12 times a night (intolerant to dairy and soy) I was a mess during the day because I was so out of it. And I had a "normal" older daughter so I knew it wasn't a normal stage that he was in. Have you tried Gripe Water? When I was trying to figure out my DD2's food intolerances (different from my son's), I used Gripe water (ginger, chamomile, fennel) which helped the gassiness and discomfort while I figured things out. Have you kept a food journal? Gluten causes depression in some people too, so it could be bothering both of you. Just a thought, in case you didn't want to give up on the food theory.

[joliebebe]

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies :-)

We went to a kinesiologist and had some muscle testing done. Apparently we both have candida, as well as me having a sensitivity to dairy and gluten (from a candida damaged gut) Bubs was getting those antibodies from me and combined with the yeast, it was really upsetting his system! Kind of a suprise to me, as I dont have any symptoms of either candida or food sensitivities!

We have been on a candida protocol (with antifungals and probiotics) for 7 days now, as well as not having dairy and gluten, and there is a HUGE improvement in his mood. Hes much more calm and settled

It was the kinesiologists opinion that once my gut is healed, I can have dairy and gluten again, with it not affecting me or baby. Fingers crossed.

[kjbrown92]

I'm glad you figured it out!!

[mellowjello]

That is great news he is feeling better! A great way to reintro dairy and gluten is with yogurt and sourdough. Fermenting makes it much much easier to digest.

[joliebebe]

Thanks mellowjellow! When I start eating gluten and dairy again,I was thinking to take it slow and only have fermented milk products at first and if possible sprouted/soaked sourdough. Thanks for the reminder :-)