What I liked about this thread is the great information shared about attachment and attachment issues..
what I greatly disklike is the feigned concerned of the OP - sorry but I read this and immediately thought she was looking for answers like "yeah those parents suck!" Come on, a vague family member, living 1000+ miles away that she rarely sees, etc and so forth...
I rarely reply to things like this, but I can't stop myself.
I don't even know why I need to defend myself, I really don't . . . But yeah, for your information, the reason I was being vague is because I am paranoid about identifying myself here. I do not want to do anything to hurt my family member, whom I love. It is not a vague family member---I am talking about my sister and her son, my nephew. Yes, they live 1000 miles away, but that doesn't mean I am not in regular contact with her or that I don't care about them. The difference here was that we just spent a full week together on vacation and I was able to see things up close and in person that I had only a vague sense of on the phone or through emails prior to that.
I came here knowing nothing, asking for information. I came here out of concern, and I still concerned. I wanted to learn more, to know if I had reason to worry or of this was normal. It is incredibly hard to see a child experiencing what I see him going through, despite any of the reasons. I’m doing the best I can to understand it all, but I certainly wasn’t looking for people to come here and bash my family. I don't work that way.
But thanks, now I feel like crap. And an idiot.