deadbeat gripe

[sinsaratea]

So STBX hasn't been around since christmas... he had begun having child support taken out since november. it was paltry but it was something. well, evidently he lost his job or something. maybe working under the table because we havent seen anything since may. so i call family services today and they are like well we are waiting for a court date...we suspended his license and tag, etc.

well big deal. he never pays for his tags and his license has been suspended for other crap. he doesn't care about that. and somehow he continues to drive around with no tickets... if he had been pulled over now he would certainly be in jail!!! [and then i would know where he was...he is good at pulling a kaiser soze and disappearing.]

anyone else had a pain like this?

[Marsupialmom]

My ex hasn't paid in 13 years. Some of that time I can understand and would be more than willing to forgive -- long story.

But it use to make me mad that I could see his movements on facebook. Other times it has bugged me but I learned that I was wasting my energy and only hurting myself by investing any emotion into the situation.

But it is great to vent sometimes.

[sinsaratea]

true that... i try to just go about my life. i've come a long way from three years ago at this time. in fact, i've improved in the last 6 months!

i know he can't keep a good job. its hard when you are an addict with mental health issues that you won't get help for [and i wasn't saying that with a snarky tone..its just the truth]. if he would just be in DD's life i could forgive this. if he would help me with some stuff around here,physically speaking like repairs or something, i would totally see that he was trying to contribute in some way, but no.

ah well. c'est la vie.

[butterfly1976]

I understand how you feel. It's been 10 years since the ex and I split. Plus, his family pulled away from the kids. He lives in the same town and has continued to make more kids that he won't help raise. It's amazing how he could afford motorcycles, tattoos and other things, but can't keep a steady job to support his kids. I was more than eager to let him see the kids anytime, but when he left them hanging over and over....well that was enough for me.

It's very easy to be angry and bitter. We all have emotions. I know for so many years I allowed it to consume me, but I know now, that wasn't the best for me or the kids.

Whatever you do, don't let it eat you up inside. I understand venting though.

Wishing you the best...