Originally Posted by lolar2
She has been quite honest in one respect-- she has shown you exactly what kind of a person she is, for five years. Believe her.
Yeah, that sure is true.
I wouldn't characterize what she's said as outright lies, just illogical twists and turns to justify.
...well, though saying she can't visit my son the way she visits the other two grandchildren because their mom is a stay-at-home mom and I work, that is a lie.
Because when I was a stay-at-home mom for two years, she was no different. And when my sister-in-law did work, my MIL's pattern was no different with them either.
So, yeah, that's a lie.
But mostly she's full of illogical twists and turns of logic that are just attempts at excuses to make herself not look so bad. Probably she is defensive.
Maybe it's senility, though. That could very well be. She also probably has a good amount of hate for me and no matter what she isn't going to help, and she doesn't want to come right out and say that. If she was more honest about things she might lose DH's support, you know?
As for bonding with my son, she thinks she can do that by visiting a couple of times a year for a few hours. She thinks I stand in the way and if I'd just let her come a couple of times a year for a few hours there would be no problem.
I tried explaining how my own dad was with us for a week, and on the first day of the visit, my son was like "who is this guy?" but the second day he was like "oh, I think I like this guy. he might be fun" and on the third and subsequent days he was telling everyone at school "I'm going to the park with my grandpa. My grandpa is my best friend. I love my grandpa." Bonding takes more than a few hours a couple of times a year. My son didn't really bond with my dad, who has visited before, until the third day. It takes kids some time to warm up and become comfortable with people.
My MIL doesn't get that. When I told her this she said, "well that's wonderful, but..." and then came the illogical excuses again.