Yes, it is shallow if she visits the other family for the pool. Has she ever given you any reason to believe that she is not shallow?
Yes. She's given me reason to believe she's not shallow. But she is aloof. My SIL says that too.
Not shallow...well, she has begun to volunteer later in life. That's good. She follows the news and politics somewhat. She isn't really into material things like clothing or anything like that.
She's sort of standoffish in some ways. She's not very social and I don't think she's had many friends in her life. She tends to use a lot of overused catch phrases, and sometimes uses them wrong. She's more sociall awkward than shallow.
I can't figure out if she said she can't visit us as often because I work and my SIL is a stay-at-home mom to sting me or if she meant something else, perhaps, and that's how it came out? I don't know.
She keeps professing, year after year, that just because she spends weeks on end flying out to see the other grandchildren, including Christmases, and including telling us she's going out there to "bond" that it is no different than spending a few hours with my son. She may very well believe that.
When it's pointed out that she does spend way, way more time visiting the other grandchildren at their house she has said "let's not make this a time thing."
When it's pointed out that she does spend way more money on things for the other grandchildren she has said "let's not make this a money thing."
I don't know...she's hard to read. I'm not sure she connects with anyone all that well. She's friendly enough on the surface, but she's sort of aloof.