so reactive (teasing/hitting)!

[seemfrog]

How can I help my boys (almost 5) not be so reactive?
ex: one is sitting working on a puzzle on the floor, brother walks by and intentionally steps on the puzzle as he is walking by, puzzle kid shouts "HEY!" then hits.
They have gotten into this phase of teasing/hitting and I don't know how to stop it. Partly its because they just react immediately and hit instead of telling how they feel. I try to say after the fact "please use words and tell him why that bothered you" - they might do it after I suggest it, but then the next time, the same thing happens.
I remember as a kid with my older brother, lots of teasing and hitting... teasing seems to be pretty common with siblings, don't know how to stop that either. Its hard to understand as the one getting teased if you just ignore it will no longer satisfy the teaser (but that seems to be something you just have to figure out on your own at some point).

Any suggestions/ideas would be greatly welcomed! I'm getting tired of the screaming and hitting.

[mom2grrls]

Siblings without Rivalry is a great book for this. However it is really normal to be "reactive" at that age. You can work with them on using words but they may not be able to put into words exactly how they feel. If you see one say mess up another's game say "wow I bet that's frustrating" or whatever emotion you think he may be feeling. That starts to give them words for the problem and eventually they can work together better. For a while you may just need to stick close to stop the hitting before it starts. Make sure they're well rested and fed though too, everything is worse when you're hungry or tired