When to worry about a kiddo not talking

[treeoflife3]

I have a 16 month old who can not say a SINGLE word except for 'hi' and she won't say it on command. She uses it correctly, but only when she feels like it (rare mostly, sometimes really often)

Now, we have done baby sign and she has over 20 signs she uses regularly, including two she made up all on her own (we did NOTHING to even hint at her signs being an option for the word)

She also seems to understand a LOT of what we say and can catch on really fast. She isn't a huge babbler, but when she does babble, she makes all sorts of different sounds kind of like she is talking her own language... but like I said, she doesn't do it that much.

We read to her a ton and honestly have no choice in that anyway. books are her favorite toy and she can get pretty violent if you don't read to her RIGHT NOW sometimes (We are still learning that books are NOT for throwing at mommy's face hehe) She also loves songs/music and can easily learn short songs with hand signs (itsy bitsy spider and patty cake are her faves and she'll initiate them on her own)

It is obvious she understands language and can form the sounds necessary to use a great many words and she CAN communicate with us efficiently, however I still can't stop this small nagging that it is strange that she literally only says one word and it is pretty hit or miss if she uses it (she often just waves, if anything although about once a week she'll pick a day where she says hi to everything)

I know some kids just talk late and she has lots of signs that show she just isn't ready to actually SAY words yet but I'm still starting to worry. I've never known a kid her age who didn't have SOME words. I'm not expecting sentences but she doesn't even say mama or dada (or any variation) to either of us. she uses the daddy sign for both of us (mostly just daddy though haha) but still no spoken names for us.

I guess I'm just looking for some support that she is still totally normal... or some advice or ideas if I really should be starting to worry.

[Bokonon]

In your shoes, I would want to get an Early Intervention evaluation. What you are describing doesn't sound all that unusual to me, but if there is a problem, early intervention is key.

[ArcticRose]

My DD is a bit older (18 months) and very similar. She uses a couple more words, mama, dada, and recently added bye. But she knows less signs. (we didn't start signing with her until recently) I was so excited today.. she said shoe!!

I'm not worried. She communicates her needs/wants very well... just not with words yet. I'm certain she'll talk more when she is ready.

[dawncayden]

I would get an evaluation. I'm concerned about not saying mama or dada. With ds1 (4.5 years) we started speech therapy at 3 years because of lack of words. It would have been so much easier if we started earlier when I had 'that feeling' too.
There's nothing wrong with getting it checked out.
Speech therapy was also quite a bit different then I thought it would be. Most of it was stuff for dh and I to do at home with ds1. Ways to encourage talking. We were in some pretty bad habits of talking with ds1 and his words weren't flourishing because of that.

[APToddlerMama]

I used to work in early intervention and my son is also in it now... I would say that if she doesn't have at least 10 words by 18 months, to go ahead and get a referral to EI. You can actually refer yourself to the county EI program. Speech therapy is play based and usually a lot of fun for kids, and they come out to your house so it shouldn't be a big deal. Good luck!

[Latte Mama]

My DS is 22 months and currently in speech therapy through early intervention. He was saying nothing at 16 months also. He's been in speech for about 3 months and I definitely see an improvement. He has about 20 words he uses regularly and repeats new ones as well.
It's a slow process with my DS, I can see he struggles with it a bit and his strengths lie in physical stuff. But he's getting there. I know that he KNOWS the words, just having a hard time gettingthem out.

Good luck to you OP!

[eleonrauis]

At 16 mos my DS understood and followed instructions but did not say a single word, did not sign, didn't wave, didn't even point. He would bring me a book when he wanted to be read to, but that was it.

Then suddenly somewhere between 17 and 18 mos he started talking, and within a month had over 50 words and was using simple phrases. Now at 28 mos he speaks in fairly complex sentences and can be understood by strangers at least half the time.

I say get an evaluation if you are worried, but she may just surprise you and start talking when she's ready.

[Skippy918]

My son maybe had 2 or 3 words at 16 months. I was concerned. He did understand everything I was saying at that point. At his 18 month visit he still wasn't saying much, but the doctor said that most evaluations aren't done until 2. Somewhere around 21-22 months, he started saying more words and he'll try and repeat what you said and he has several dozen words now. He hasn't started on sentences yet.

My friend brought her son in for an eval at 2 because he wasn't talking and he still didn't qualify for EI because he understood everything. She decided to pay out of pocket for some group speech therapy sessions and it's helping.

[YayJennie]

Wow, I'm kind of surprised so many people are saying to seek intervention. It sounds totally normal to me!

My son is also 16 months (today!) and he doesn't say anything really. I think he knows "mama" and "dada" and will occasionally make that noise in reference to one of us (but more "ma ma ma ma" and "da da da da deee"). The only other clear word he definitely says is "kitty" (he's obsessed with our cats), but he says it very rarely. However, he babbles a TON, and in such a way that it's clear he's attempting to communicate. He doesn't just babble, he looks at you and points and makes distinct sounds, I just have no idea what it means! He also uses a few signs we taught him, and clearly understands what we're saying (he'll follow commands such as "throw that away" or "go get your stool"). To me, I think he's completely normal, albeit a bit slower with talking. Nothing I'm concerned with, and he sounds very similar to your toddler

Obviously if it will make you feel better, get into an intervention program. But personally, unless my son isn't talking by 18-20ish months, I'm not going to be concerned.

Oh and I just remembered another thing I take into account. My son is EXTREMELY physical. He could jump with two feet at 13 months. He climbs everything, and has exceptional balance as well as coordination (he could do fine motor tasks such as putting a small straw into a juicebox around 13 months as well). The fact that he is so advanced physically makes me think he's just putting more energy into that instead of speech. I don't know if that really makes sense, but it does to me, so that's what I go with! Is there something like that that could be going on with your daughter?

[Abraisme]

MY DS didn't say anything until he was 2 (when he said mama). He was on track or advanced in other areas so I didn't worry about it much. Language is still not his strong suit, but I don't think it ever would have been (even with speech therapy). Otherwise he's a perfectly normal, smart 6yo. He's in advanced reading and math at school, but is generally a little low on verbal processing. Each kid is different and I certainly wouldn't worry about a 16mo not talking much.

I recommend sign language if you haven't started already. It really saved a lot of frustration for both of us.

[DevaMajka]

Originally Posted by treeoflife3

I have a 16 month old who can not say a SINGLE word except for 'hi' and she won't say it on command. She uses it correctly, but only when she feels like it (rare mostly, sometimes really often)

Now, we have done baby sign and she has over 20 signs she uses regularly, including two she made up all on her own (we did NOTHING to even hint at her signs being an option for the word)

She also seems to understand a LOT of what we say and can catch on really fast.

This sounds JUST like ds1. He had said some words, but didn't have any that he used more than a couple times. He knew some signs, and communicated pretty effectively with those and gestures. It was obvious that he understood most of what we said. At 18 mos, we were referred to speech therapy, but didn't go because dp and I both "knew" everything was fine. I did post about it, but deep down, I didn't have any nagging feeling *at all* that anything was wrong.
At 21 mos, he had 3 words he used consistently: mom, dad, and "arf" (we had 3 dogs, and he said "arf" when they barked). At 2yo, he had something like 30, and it exploded from there. He was using big words and full sentences really quickly, and it was fairly early that others could get what he was saying.
I thought then, and still do, that he was something of a perfectionist, and he didn't want to try it if he didn't think he could do it well. That just happens to be accurate for him now that he is 6yo, too.

All that being said, if you have ANY thoughts that something is off, it wouldn't hurt to ask your ped at your 18mos appt, and try out speech therapy

[Luke's mama]

my DS, now 26 mos, was really not verbal at all at 16 mos except for maybe "ball" and "kitty". He really didn't start calling me mama or mommy until 19 months or so. I was kind of worried when I read about other kids using so much language earlier, but new that DH and I are both cautious and slow bloomers, and DS was hitting his developmental milestones on the later end anyway. Anyway, he has gradually been adding more words and since 2 has been taking off quite a bit. He is talking a lot now, not always sure what he is saying!, but sometimes using whole sentences, and I figure he will get there when he is ready.

[Llyra]

My DD1 never said a single word at all until she was 19 months old. Not one single word. Anyway, we wound up going the EI route, and she qualified, and then we set up the schedule for the speech therapist, and before the first session, spontaneously all of a sudden DD1 could say like fifteen words. By 2, she was talking in sentences, and now we all wish she'd maybe STOP talking for maybe five minutes, pretty please. (She's almost six now, and very bright, and a fluent reader, and an all-day-chatter.)

My point is that at 16 months, it's very probable that she's just on a slower developmental timetable, and that she'll get there all on her own.

I think what I'd do is decide how consuming my worry is-- do I see anything else that seems odd? Are my mama-instinct-sirens going off? Is the worry preventing me from enjoying the baby's company? If so, I'd go for the eval right away.

Otherwise, I'd wait two months. If at 18 months, she's still not talking, I'd go for the eval. The EI criteria here in our state list as a red flag a baby who's not using a few single words at 18 months.

Honestly, the eval is free, easy, and it was very comforting, one way or the other, to know that somebody besides me was keeping an eye on DD's development. I realize now we never really needed it, but at the time I was glad I did it, because it really helped me to stop worrying.

But I see no compelling reason to do it at 16 months, especially with a child who's developing normally otherwise, and is in fact using one word, and who signs, and who is babbling, and seems to understand language. All of that is incredibly reassuring.

[~Demeter~]

I had 2 very late talkers... and I'm not a fan of using EI unless it's truly warranted.

My 2 late talkers were very physical (like Jennie pointed out about her little guy). My almost 3 year old just finally had a huge burst in actual words. She used sign language as her main form of communication from about 18 mos on.. her receptive language skills were on and she caught on fairly quickly. I've also noticed she is quite the little perfectionist so if she isn't comfortable with how she says something she won't say until she is. She made up her own words for certain things and when she used them, I would use the proper word. Eventually she caught on.

I'm not big on interventions because so many kids are individual.. having had one very early talker, one very late talker, one average talker and one mildly late talker, I take that as differences in their interests and development. There is nothing wrong with your child's communication in my opinion.. especially if at 16 mos she's using over 20+ signs to communicate and is able to follow simple instructions. And if it helps you at all.. my son (who is now 11) was very, very similar to your daughter, he didn't say mama until he was much closer to 2 (he may have even been over 2) and he talks very well (no speech for him), has a very broad vocabulary and is totally thriving.

[littlemizflava]

my ds never babbled. at 2 he was only saying maybe 20 words and lots of signs. he understood you and he got his wishes acrossed. i say he didnt need to talk. he is just a quiet soul. right now he can be very "shy" quite or if the mood strikes him he will go on and on forever. my ds would never say anything on comand he still dont at 3.5.

[JBaxter]

I give them till 24 months. Jack has been very late saying words but last week he said cheese, I stuck and stars all in the same week. He also does several signs.

[treeoflife3]

Originally Posted by DevaMajka

This sounds JUST like ds1. He had said some words, but didn't have any that he used more than a couple times. He knew some signs, and communicated pretty effectively with those and gestures. It was obvious that he understood most of what we said. At 18 mos, we were referred to speech therapy, but didn't go because dp and I both "knew" everything was fine. I did post about it, but deep down, I didn't have any nagging feeling *at all* that anything was wrong.
At 21 mos, he had 3 words he used consistently: mom, dad, and "arf" (we had 3 dogs, and he said "arf" when they barked). At 2yo, he had something like 30, and it exploded from there. He was using big words and full sentences really quickly, and it was fairly early that others could get what he was saying.
I thought then, and still do, that he was something of a perfectionist, and he didn't want to try it if he didn't think he could do it well. That just happens to be accurate for him now that he is 6yo, too.

All that being said, if you have ANY thoughts that something is off, it wouldn't hurt to ask your ped at your 18mos appt, and try out speech therapy

yeah, my nagging feeling isn't that something is WRONG because she seems like she is doing pretty great with communication... my nagging feeling is just that maybe I SHOULD be doing something simply because everyone else I know would be freaking out since we just don't know kids who aren't saying at least a few things by now.

I forgot to add, she does a couple animal sounds too. I'm not sure if they count as words or not but she LOVES to growl like a dinosaur (or lion or tiger or anything that looks big and ferocious... and giraffes bahaha) and she quacks like a duck and sometimes will moo like a cow. We have also just gotten her to go arf arf for a dog rather than just signing dog. She will also very rarely try to go 'choo choo' for a train if you say it first and encourage her to do it.

She also made up a sign today for toilet paper... I don't even TALK to her about toilet paper... I just use it and sometimes she watches, but she definitely has a sign now which surprised me (her other two self made up ones were airplane which is pretty accurate for not being that exposed to airplanes and tooth brush which is just brushing her teeth with her finger haha)

I plan on asking the pediatrician about it in September, but I'm feeling pretty confused about what to think. I KNOW she is smart and she has no other delays (she's been slightly advanced in rolling, crawling, and walking, and got the pincer grab down pat way before expected and is otherwise on schedule for average for other fine and big motor skills and such) but I worry that I'm somehow hurting or limiting her by not immediately running for some intervention to get her to start talking now.

She is my first baby and I struggle between doing what everyone else says is right and doing what I FEEL is right (which resulted in a frustrating ER visit at one point ) so I don't want to somehow make speaking harder for her by not catching it sooner even though I feel like she will just start words later and isn't really delayed by any worrisome definition of the word. I FEEL like she is just on the slower end of speaking and not actually delayed in a way that needs to be FIXED. I just don't want to be wrong.

[jwpsgurl]

DD1 didn't say anything until she was 20 months. She communicated by yelling, which was very irritating. When she started talking it was mostly in sentences and she has no other delays at all. Since your DD1 is signing and communicating well otherwise, maybe she doesn't really have much of a need for words. I wouldn't worry about it.

[Bokonon]

The thing that would concern me the most in your situation is the lack of repetitive syllables like mama and dada. I don't know if that's a critical milestone or if it's even an issue, but I would be concerned about the ability to make consonant sounds.

Having an evaluation doesn't necessarily mean that your child will need therapy. I had a speech eval. for my son at age 3 because he had been verbally advanced and then started lagging, but by the time we wrapped up the evaluation process, he was all caught up and tested well in the normal range and did not qualify for services.

I had a developmental evaluation for DD because she was a preemie, but she was normal in all areas and no therapy was recommended. In both cases, it was helpful for me to get an outsider's opinion (NOT their pediatrician, as he is not an expert in development) and have the reassurance that my kids were developing normally.

Like some of the PPs have said, all kids develop at their own rate, but having a delayed child is a very emotionally trying situationv(my son had significant gross motor delays). The earlier the problem is identified and treated, the better the outcome.

[treeoflife3]

well she does do repetative sounds mixed in with her 'other language' babbling. She actually did go through a mamamama phase, she just never called ME mama. she has made the dadada sound a couple times as well, but again, not calling anyone that and just making the sounds. Once in awhile I think she might be calling me mama but I'm pretty uncertain. It seems less like random sounds, but she isn't trying to get my attention or tell me anything.

she makes lots of consonant sounds and I've honestly heard MOST letter sounds and most letter groupings come out of her mouth on multiple occasions. it just doesn't turn into anything resembling real words.