Fair enough Mamakaikai.
MJB - Wow, your oversupply sounds reaaly intense. Do you know kellymom?http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...-mastitis.htmlhttp://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...gorgement.html
Just in case something helps.
It does sound like you know how to manage your situation pretty well, you've found something that works for you.
I sooooo hear you on the pain feeling like it's too much, wanting to quit but not wanting to quit. I may have said this before, but it was really about 2 months before I enjoyed nursing dd2, and it got easier from there. Somebody mentioned Lansinoh - seriously, it makes a difference, give it a try. I used breast shells too to keep fabric off my sore nipples and they made a HUGE difference when I had to wear a bra and shirt around other people. They also had little air holes in them - I wore them with lansinoh and they helped me maintain my sanity. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now.
It's hard when baby cries a lot and is up at night. It won't last forever, of course, but while we have to get through it, it is *so* hard. I hope you have some good help during the day so you can get some sleep.
Somegirl - sounds like you are transitioning okay. That's good!
I hear you on the dread and exhaustion.
I had that really badly with dd1. You just have to get through one hour at a time, sometimes.
tarasattva - what you were saying about having forgotten the challenges of the early days of nursing, even if you successfully bfed in the past - so true! We totally have that going on here too. Some scabs on my nipples, sore boobs and nipples. When baby latches on, now that my milk is in, I get this very intense burning sensation when he is first latched on. OWWW. It usually gets better as he nurses but not always, so I'm fiddling around with positioning and trying not to make everything a fight.
When I do what the MWs tell me, he and I seem to fight at the breast. So, as I was telling dh today, I am not going to win any awards for ideal positions at the breast, but it seems to work for us so there!
Also it's so frustrating when you get conflicting bfing advice. The MWs advocate firmly latching baby on while public health nurses encourage letting baby self-attach. !?!?!? I am just filtering all the messages and looking at my baby and taking what I know and finding what works for us.
AFM - Tomorrow one of my MWs comes for the day 5 visit. She missed the birth because she was at a conference. I found out from the student midwife who was at my birth, that my primary MW and the back up who were there, they said she shouldn't do delayed cord clamping like I requested. I had written down a few things on a small piece of paper just before the birth ("Birth Wishes") and the student later said it was good that I had written it down, so she could show them. We had a long talk later (the student and I) about the risks and benefits of cord clamping. Again, I am very surprised by how medically minded my MWs are. It has been an interesting learning experience, let me tell you.
I had the day 4 tears today. I cried because I was not pregnant anymore and everything we have been through has just been so intense.
I cried because I was exhausted. I cried, felt sorry for myself for the efforts and frustrations faced over the past 5 yrs since we've had dd1. I cried, wishing I could be mothered. I cried because of the stresses of adapting to change (although I AM very happy!). Good thing the MWs reminded me that with the milk comes the tears, and it's normal, so I'm not worried about my mood and pathologizing it, you know?
That's enough rambling for me. Gotta get baby back to bed and get myself settled.
It's been tough at night because dd2 comes from her bed to mine, where I am with the newborn. She still wants me to snuggle with her, but I can't if I'm sitting up nursing. And when I am falling asleep I want to face the NB. She has been spending a lot of time crying and occassionally I have blocks of time during the day when I can give her some TLC and attention, but it's really hard to give her undivided attention. Sigh. We just do the best we can and it will pass. In the meantime she and dd1 are really loving their new baby brother. They helped give him a bath today, and it was really cute.