Mommy, play with me!

[mazajo]

Oh, if I had a nickel every time I heard that, I'd be a rich lady! 4yo DS (5 in Sept) says this aaaalllll day long. I do try to play with him a little bit each but I'd rather 'do' things then 'play', like bake cookies with him or crafts, and I enjoy taking him the park and pool and things like that. But he wants me to sit in his bedroom floor and play pretend games with him and I just don't enjoy that! I feel like he gets tons of attention, but it still makes me feel guilty. We get home from the park and I'm all tired and sweaty and I haven't done any housework all day because we've been at the park and the moment we walk in the door, it's "Play with me, mommy! Play with meeeee! Mommy, come plaaaaay!" I just want to tear my hair out!

Btw, I'm a SAHM and DS is out of preschool for the summer and does not nap anymore.

Anybody BTDT?

[mizzoh]

i have no advice, but just wanted to say i am in the same boat. ds is 4.5 and wants me to play with him all.day.long. i just can't keep it up all day so i just try to do lots of outings with him. i think part of our problem is that ds is an only child so he has no siblings to play with.

[mazajo]

I do think the lack of siblings to play with is a major factor. I have older kids, DSs 18, 16, & 14, too old to play with 4yo DS much, but I don't remember them wanting me to play with them constantly when they were small, most likely because they had each other!

[butterfly_mommy]

I hardly ever "play" with DS but DH does get down on the floor and plays often and DS is always asking DH to play with him but he hardly ever asks me because he knows the answer will be "No thank you, Mama is doing ________" and if it is something he can/I want his help with "You can come help me if you would like"

I am like you I like doing activities with DS and going places with him. I love to play with playdough so we will sometimes sit together at his table and play playdough (nice thing to do for a few mins after coming home from an outing) I also love to finger paint so I will do that with him sometimes. I will occasionally initiated a game of cars/trains/ pretend play but then usually leave him be once he is engaged and continue with my stuff.

I am of the belief of trying not to live a child-centred existence. I do not feel guilty not "playing" with DS when he asks as we spend lots of time together and I attend to his needs without hesitation, We do have at least one activity/outing a day, I show him unconditional love, I feel I am showing him that we all have boundaries and limitations and it is ok to take care of ones own needs first sometimes, that people can be together enjoying ones company without doing the same thing and being focused on the other person. He also can learn practical skills of being an adult by helping/observing me. Also I am a much happier Mama when I am not being asked to "play" a thousand times a day.

Oh I just wanted to also add that I take DS to drop-in centres, parks and occasional groups on a regular bases so he can play with other children. Also I get together with other mothers so we can chat and our children can play as DS is an only.

[mizzoh]

i do sometimes tell ds that i just don't feel like playing and occasionally this will result in him playing by himself for a bit. also what sometimes helps is to set myself a time limit, like i will play with him for 20 or 30 minutes and get involved in it, and then take a break. i do feel guilty sometimes, but i just can't do it all day - i think i am a better mom and playmate when i get breaks

[Natalie12]

When I had an only child, I used to set a timer for 20 minutes and say "When this timer goes off, I will give you my undivided attention. Right now I'm going to read or whatever." He seemed to do well with that.

[Purplegal]

Yup, exact same with us. And I am fine with doing actual real things...board games, coloring, painting, reading stories, etc. But more and more all DD wants is to play these crazy pretend games where she dictates every two seconds of what to do...drives me INSANE. I try to get her together with other kids to play with at least 2 times a week... not just for her but for MY sanity.

[Paeta16]

I do play with my DD b/c she really enjoys the interaction doing something she enjoys and her imagination is in overdrive right now. That being said, sometimes it is hard to get into that zone! I also find that if I play with her too much then she NEVER wants to play on her own...which I think is an important thing too. I'll admit too that I play with her more often than I'd like and leave the housework or whatever else b/c I feel guilty that she doesn't have a sibling to play with at home.