First I want to thank everyone who applied to my original post. I think it was very valuable feedback considering that those of us who practice ap are in the minority.
I asked my ds if he wanted to continue with this school or take a break and find another school. He said he likes it and the teacher so I went into the meeting yest. and opened my side saying that I would like to work this issue out because my ds likes the school and has settled in. I think it would be detrimental to him to pull him out now. The teacher wasn't present and the director basically said that the school functions better with the kids there fulltime and it is easier for the kids if they know what to expect on a daily basis. She also gave me the blah blah about supporting staying home with your kids, wishes she could have done it, etc, ... I asked if there were other concerns with my child and she said no, initially they weren't sure he would adjust but he is doing great now. I pointed out that no one told me there was a mandatory attendance policy up front and it wasn't in the parent handbook either. I also reminded her we are a military family and if my dh is gone for a long period of time, when he returns I feel family time takes precedence over school. Thirdly I pointed out my son's reluctance to go to the beach because he is new in school and the kids aren't nice to him. The director assured me that they do make teaching courtesy a part of the curriculum and will use it as a teaching/role-playing example. They will also include my ds in all group teaching activities to make him feel more included.
She asked if we would continue for summer and I said no, we would like to be able to take the time to do more things together and start school again in fall.
I feel like I took a step back away from the situation in the best interests of my son. I could have fought for the principle of the matter but as my dh said, you can't fight the school and win. Needless to say, we are looking for another school for fall and have already made some contacts. Also, I guess I will just do what I need to do when I need to, as most of the parents do and come up with "legitimate" reasons for missing. Sucks when you are penalized for being honest. I noticed that last week when I told them we wouldn't be there Fri., there were already 3 notes on the board saying kids wouldn't be there Fri. I wonder if they all got marched to the director's office like I did? I check the attendance lists so I know how many supplies to bring and notice that on any given day, 10-30% of the kids are NOT there. (I always bring enough for the full class anyway, but sometimes it is just the right amount, no extra)
The preschools here mostly have long wait lists and interview processes so it is not as if we could just walk out and get into a quality school the next day.
ANyway, my ds had a good day at school. I picked him up and he wanted to stay a little longer for recess which I think is a good sign.
I heard some disturbing gossip at the salon this weekend. Another mother arrived to pick her ds up from this school early on a beach day and the teachers couldn't find him. He had to go to the bathroom and was found there. The bathroom is a significant walk alone down the beach to the school. Apparently this mother is a working single mom and really needs the childcare so she had discussions with the school and worked it out. I am giving the school the benefit of a doubt and am going to verify this story with the mother directly. I think it is probably true because my haridresser was actually reluctant to relay the story but after she heard about the difficulties I had, she felt I should know. If it is true, NO WAY my ds is going to the beach. He is a very independent child and would do something like that. Also, I am checking the school's record with the dept. of health/human services (I know I should have done this first.) I am checking the records of all of the schools in our area. This is one thing I would recommend to everyone, find out who is in charge of licensing your preschool and check their accident/complaint record.
I asked my ds if he wanted to continue with this school or take a break and find another school. He said he likes it and the teacher so I went into the meeting yest. and opened my side saying that I would like to work this issue out because my ds likes the school and has settled in. I think it would be detrimental to him to pull him out now. The teacher wasn't present and the director basically said that the school functions better with the kids there fulltime and it is easier for the kids if they know what to expect on a daily basis. She also gave me the blah blah about supporting staying home with your kids, wishes she could have done it, etc, ... I asked if there were other concerns with my child and she said no, initially they weren't sure he would adjust but he is doing great now. I pointed out that no one told me there was a mandatory attendance policy up front and it wasn't in the parent handbook either. I also reminded her we are a military family and if my dh is gone for a long period of time, when he returns I feel family time takes precedence over school. Thirdly I pointed out my son's reluctance to go to the beach because he is new in school and the kids aren't nice to him. The director assured me that they do make teaching courtesy a part of the curriculum and will use it as a teaching/role-playing example. They will also include my ds in all group teaching activities to make him feel more included.
She asked if we would continue for summer and I said no, we would like to be able to take the time to do more things together and start school again in fall.
I feel like I took a step back away from the situation in the best interests of my son. I could have fought for the principle of the matter but as my dh said, you can't fight the school and win. Needless to say, we are looking for another school for fall and have already made some contacts. Also, I guess I will just do what I need to do when I need to, as most of the parents do and come up with "legitimate" reasons for missing. Sucks when you are penalized for being honest. I noticed that last week when I told them we wouldn't be there Fri., there were already 3 notes on the board saying kids wouldn't be there Fri. I wonder if they all got marched to the director's office like I did? I check the attendance lists so I know how many supplies to bring and notice that on any given day, 10-30% of the kids are NOT there. (I always bring enough for the full class anyway, but sometimes it is just the right amount, no extra)
The preschools here mostly have long wait lists and interview processes so it is not as if we could just walk out and get into a quality school the next day.
ANyway, my ds had a good day at school. I picked him up and he wanted to stay a little longer for recess which I think is a good sign.
I heard some disturbing gossip at the salon this weekend. Another mother arrived to pick her ds up from this school early on a beach day and the teachers couldn't find him. He had to go to the bathroom and was found there. The bathroom is a significant walk alone down the beach to the school. Apparently this mother is a working single mom and really needs the childcare so she had discussions with the school and worked it out. I am giving the school the benefit of a doubt and am going to verify this story with the mother directly. I think it is probably true because my haridresser was actually reluctant to relay the story but after she heard about the difficulties I had, she felt I should know. If it is true, NO WAY my ds is going to the beach. He is a very independent child and would do something like that. Also, I am checking the school's record with the dept. of health/human services (I know I should have done this first.) I am checking the records of all of the schools in our area. This is one thing I would recommend to everyone, find out who is in charge of licensing your preschool and check their accident/complaint record.
