or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Unwanted gifts from relatives
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Unwanted gifts from relatives - Page 5

post #81 of 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by TulsiLeaf View Post
it's a battle you will never, EVER win. *sigh*

It's my daughters birthday next week and I am trying to figure out a group present all her immediate family members can buy her. Try to tell her two grandparents you want a handmade wooden dollhouse that costs around 130 bucks!
"But there is a really nice plastic one in walmart for 50. Plastic is so much better than wood because you can bleach it. Wood just gets dirty"

Yeah, you will never win.
yep that exactly. though my mum is getting really good cause she knows my 3 don't know characters and my sis's kids do (so they get the commercial junk)
post #82 of 83
I understand your concerns.
However- what is the most important thing here? That she gets toys that pass your test, or that she has an involved loving grandmother? My mom died a few months ago and I really wasted time and put added strain on our relationship with things like this.
I wish I hadn't. They aren't as important as one thinks.
post #83 of 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by VillageMom6 View Post
Your mother has decided that she doesn't care about your feelings in this area. What matters to her is what she wants to do. In order to do this, she is counting on you not making a fuss, which is what you continue not to do (understandably).

But if you want this to stop, you're going to have to be willing to have an uncomfortable moment. What I'm suggesting isn't fun but it's effective.

The next time that your mother is manipulative by giving your daughter a known-no-no gift in front of you and dd, you'll need to say something like, "I'm sorry, Mom. I appreciate you wanting to give Susie a gift, but as I've explained we don't allow character items. Please return it and exchange it for something else.".

Then you have to turn into a broken record, saying the same thing over and over without change or else your mother will keep arguing.

She may say, "But Susie likes it!".

You say, "I understand but we don't allow character items. Please exchange it for something else."

Her: "It's just a little doll."

You: "I understand but we don't allow character items. Please exchange it for something else."

Her: "You're being unreasonable. No one else has a problem with a simple Snow White doll!"

You: "I understand but we don't allow character items. Please exchange it for something else."

Your mother may test your boundaries a time or two more, but believe me, she doesn't want the unpleasant encounter any more than you do. Once she realizes that you're willing to have one, she'll quit buying character items!

Good luck!
I agree with all of this, except maybe the last sentence. MY mother wouldn't stop, on the contrary she would be urged on to cause more provocation (pretending that she couldn't understand why her daughter was being so horrible to her), determined not to "lose". Your mother sounds pretty manipulative, so maybe she's of the same ilk - but maybe not.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Unwanted gifts from relatives