Preschool teacher gave my kid meat...

[guestmama9924]

My 3 1/2 VEGETARIAN kid just started a 3 morning a week preschool program- same one as my oldest child. Unfortunately the teachers are all different now and most are elder women of foreign backgrounds.

1 of these women decided that my child "needs" meat in her diet and gave her fish during lunch. BTW I send my child with a healthy veggie lunch every day, including this one!

She told me about it when I picked her up , and I said, "Um, we are vegetarian, remember?" ( it is on every school form, I verbally told the teachers on the first day, and I sent my kid to school with stickers that read

I AM A HEALTHY HAPPY VEGETARIAN KID-
NO MEAT DAIRY OR EGGS PLEASE

enough stickers to go around. So I know there was no lack of understanding. The teacher went on to tell me that fish is healthy and just from the sea it is not meat.

I said - NO ANIMALS of any kind. She said, " I am veggie too, chicken and fish only" :

So I told the director of the school and am just so flipping P.O.ed- asside from yanking my kid out ( which I am considering) I know that there is NO other way to reason with someone who has such blantent disregard for my parenting choices and HEALTH issues.

[whateverdidiwants]

What was the Director's reaction?

We let my best friend's parents babysit DD on Valentine's Day when we all went out and they gave her a piece of turkey. We had left more than enough food for DD, but that's what they were giving their grandson, and she wanted it, so they gave it to her. They know from previous experience that we're veg, so I didn't think I had to remind them yet again (they've known me for over 10 years!). It was the first time DD had meat, and I was pissed, but felt it wasn't worth it to make a huge scene. I just reminded them that she doesn't eat it, and they were very apologetic that I was upset.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

[Leatherette]

I am really sorry this happened. I hope it doesn't end up that you have to change schools. That teacher needs to be disciplined and apologize. We are ovo lacto vegetarian (which is "easier" for others to understand and deal with, I think), and our son's preschool is very supportive. The kids bring their own lunches, but there is a group snack every day.


Yesterday, my son said that a kid at school tried to share his lunch (chicken) with him, and he said, "No, I don't eat meat, I am vegetarian." and then he said he sat somewhere else. I told him he could still sit with his friend, just not eat his friend's lunch! Maybe he's going to be radical......

Ugg - sorry it happened.

L

[guestmama9924]

The director was sypathetic and assured me it would not happen again. What is with people? Someone slipping your DD turkey?:
If your DD would have wanted someones cigarette or beer would they have handed that over too?
I am glad you had enough restraint- good quality!

After fighting with people for 8 loooooooooong years ( that is how old my oldest is) I can tell you that the anger and frustration mounts up after a while.

[monkey's mom]

As the parent of a food allergic kid, this is my biggest fear!! "Oh, one bite won't hurt." Wanna bet?!

That is inexcusable--ps teachers should be among the most sensitive to food issues!

Sorry that happened to you all!

[guestmama9924]

ITA- what if it was an allergy and not just a "silly preference"? And it could have been- my child does not eat that food.

I told the director that I felt that even if it was a garden salad- teachers probablly should not be sharing their meals with kids. not very sanitary!

[lorijds]

While I am *really* sorry that happened to your son, I think it sounds like that woman thinks in a similar manner to my mom.

I have been vegetarian and vegan off and on for 15 years (tho recently started to consume a little meat, now that organic is readily had in our area). One time my mom made this casserole. I said, "Uh, mom, doesn't this have meat in it?" "She said, "Yes, and I thought of you when I made it, so I put in twice as many vegetables and half as much meat as I usually do." It just didn't occur to her that it *still* wasn't something I wanted to eat.

To some people, vegetarian or veganism is just too abstact of a concept. I think my parents are simply unable to understand what a vegan or a vegetarian consumes. This lady is probably one of them.

It was totally out of line on her part. Maybe you can suggest the school do an inservice on different food preferences...vegetarianism, veganism, etc.

Hope it all gets straightened out.

Lori

[mocha09]

Originally posted by lorijds

To some people, vegetarian or veganism is just too abstact of a concept. I think my parents are simply unable to understand what a vegan or a vegetarian consumes. This lady is probably one of them.
Lori

Wow, that is a terrible thing to have happened. My dd is young, but will be starting daycare or preschool pretty soon, and I worry bout this all the time. I like the sticker idea!

I aree with Lori that some people really have NO concept, and this lady sounds like one of them. I don't know how many time people have offered my fish or chicken(!) becaues I am a vegetarian :

My stepmom made me some "vegetarian" stuffing for Thanksgiving a few years ago, and was very proud of herself for thinking of me and makign me a special vegetarian treat. As soon as I tasted it, I knew there was chicken stock in it. I casually asked, "So, how did you make this?" She replied, "Oh, this, that, chicken stock, blah blah..." She just had no clue that a vegetarian would not eat chicken stock.

Oops. I'm rambling and possibly hijacking.

Main POINT: I am angry for you, I hope that it turns out okay, and I like your sticker idea, I'm going to use it!

[guestmama9924]

I got the stickers from the Vegetarian Child magazine site. They have ones for allergies, vegan, and other diet needs.
Vegetarian Baby and Child magazine

[layla]

The biggest problem here is that the teacher isn't apologetic or admitting to making a mistake (which would be forgivable). The problem is that she thinks her way is better than your way and will give your child whatver she feels is best. I'd look for disciplinary actions or make her sign a form that she won't feed your child any food but what you send and that you'll hold her liable for any ill health effects. What if your child gets sick from eating such a "foreign" item? When my son was in nursery school (we now homeschool), he ate a "pig in a blanket"and I almost had heart failure! We're a vegetarian, no dairy family. It was truly a mistake though and after a conference with the teachers, all was forgiven and they promised to be more careful. Your situation sounds much worse because she's more like eff you. Good luck and stand your ground!

[NaturalMommie]

:-(

I'm sorry this lady stepped in your paretning life by feeding your baby fish. Not her place at all, and if they pack their own lunches where did she get the fish from????

:

I also wanted to add that I'm not a veggie in anyway, but my kids and I love them. Hubby isn't as fond of them, .

I think some people might get this idea that veegie people are thinking they are better then meat eaters (haha) Not anyone here of course

I hope things get better at the daycare and I hate to say it but it might be best to remove your child. After this who knows what'll happen

[Piglet68]

i just wanted to add that the teacher was totally wrong.

I also understand that some people don't consider fish to be meat. After all, during Lent you are not supposed to eat meat but fish is okay. Your stickers said meat, eggs, dairy..but didn't mention fish.

what will really count is how the director deals with it. if she brushes you off, you have a right to be very angry!!!

[kama'aina mama]

This is just wrong. At my daughters preschool they have a strict "no sharing" policy about food. Kids eat what they bring and nothing else. That way you know your kid isn't eatting some weird crap and you know what is gone from your kids lunch at the end of the day went into his/her tummy. I agree that this teachers attitude is the problem.

[guestmama9924]

Originally posted by Piglet68
Your stickers said meat, eggs, dairy..but didn't mention fish.

true, but on the school forms I specifically put ( just for those at the school who think meat is only mammals)
fish, fowl, pig, cow, sheep and other animals from land or sea....
:LOL

I think I covered it all!

She just wanted to challenge me I think. It is some cultural differences too. Most of our hispanic population is very very set on their way of eating, and I do not find much variation in the local population. I think it is like what lorijds said- some people just can't comprehend diversity in eating habits.

[Korwynne]

I'm so sorry this happenned!

When I was still teaching, I had a girl in my class of 3 year olds that was vegetarian.. I called her Mom anytime I wasn't sure of something (people brought in snacks for the whole class) and I used it as a teaching tool.

Hopefully this teacher will be disciplined.. I'd be asking the direction HOW it will be prevented again.. since she won't be sitting in the room, what will prevent this teacher from doing it again and just not mentionning it? will your child tell you?

[katt]

I think the big problem here is that she gave your daughter food that wasn't her's at all.

When I taught Pre-School we were not allowed, AT ALL, to share other foods with the kids. They could only eat what they brought. We did have snack time, but that was food from their lunches and parents knew about that so packed accordingly.

She was SO wrong to give you dd food you hadn't approved.
For that alone she should be reprimanded. (not to mention she totally ignored your family's lifestyle and your wishes)

[Scout]

The problem is that she thinks her way is better than your way and will give your child whatver she feels is best.

Precisely.

She said, " I am veggie too, chicken and fish only"

I won't even go into how much that ILLOGICAL statement angers me... every single time I hear it.


Sorry this happened.


p.s. your daughters are beautiful!

[Dragonfly]

Originally posted by Scout
I won't even go into how much that ILLOGICAL statement angers me... every single time I hear it.

It's illogical to you because you understand what it means to be a vegetarian. Some people don't. I was a vegetarian for 8 years and people *constantly* assumed it was okay for me to eat fish. They weren't being mean and refusing to recognize that I had a right to eat the way I wanted, they just didn't know better.

KeysMama - I'm sorry this happened. Is it possible that the teacher didn't exactly see the school forms? Maybe that's something the administration deals with and the teachers are out of the loop? If it's a possibility, it might be a good assumption to make until you know differently. That way, you aren't going in feeling combative (which rarely accomplishes anything good).

[pageta]

I grew up vegetarian, and to my sister and I, meat was gross! There were occasions where my parents forgot to order vegetarian meals for us (at conventions) or whatever, so we made do. For us, clean/unclean meats were also an issue, so beef was okay but pork wasn't, if one was to consume meat. I remember one time we had a choice between hamburgers and hot dogs and my sister ate the hamburger and I had the hotdog because we weren't sure which had pork and which didn't.

With that said, I will say that when you tell people you are vegetarian, generally they don't have a clue what that means anymore than if you asked them in another language where the bathroom is. Frankly, I think the teacher was simply ignorant. We considered fish to be meat, but so many people think that it's not. It's like trying to explain to someone how you drive a car when they don't even know what a car is. Sometimes I remember just wanting to tell people that if it was something that used to move on it's own accord or came from something like that, we didn't eat it. Corn doesn't move on it's own, the wind blows it. But then we came from a farming background so I don't know if that explanation would have even helped.

I don't think the teacher intended to offend you. She's just one of those people who hasn't a clue. Some people just live very narrow lives and don't seem to educate themselves about anything. I know it's frustrating, but I always just try to be nice and explain things as well as I can without being unkind. Then I try to avoid situations as much as possible where an instance like this might occur, though it's not possible to avoid such situations completely.

When I was a kid, we didn't die from eating pork (though we felt like we were going to). I would make this an opportunity to educate the teacher. If she did it again, then I'd be pretty upset. But I'd give her some slack the first time, especially since she thinks chicken is vegetarian (which is unbelievable!).

[sagira]

Ignorance.. is not bliss.

Wow.. I'm by no means a vegetarian, but I understand that vegetarians eat no meat of any kind -- chicken??! HELLO! :
I don't think it's too much to ask for a preschool teacher to educate herself on all aspects of children's nutrition, including knowledge of terms such as vegetarians, vegan, lacto-ovo vegetarians and fruitarians (sp?).

Aside from that, even if that's her personal opinion (that a diet lacking in meat is lacking), she should have kept that to herself and respect your wishes.

I shudder to think that some preschool teachers could give our children foods they are allergic too..


Good luck resolving the situation, KeysMama.