My father passed away earlier this month (July 6th) from multiple myeloma (a form of cancer of the blood). He had been sick pretty continuously since he was diagnosed in January 09, but his death came on pretty quick.
He made the decision to stop treatments and begin palliative care and just over a week later, he was gone.
I live over 2000 miles away and was making my travel plans. He died 12 hours before I got there.
Anyway, I'm also pregnant--almost 31 weeks along and it's all so emotional. My dad was soooo happy I was pregnant (I've had several pregnancy losses), and he was rooting for me. We knew the gender (boy) but were keeping it a secret. About 2 weeks before he passed I was talking to him on the phone and he was saying that he didn't know how long he'd be around (this was before he stopped treatment but had been thinking about it). So I broke the secret and told him it was a boy. He was overjoyed. This will be his 9th grandchild. The first born was a boy, then there were 8 girls, and this one--most likely the last, was another boy.
I'm struggling to take care of my pregnant self and prepare for this baby because I'm so overwhelmed with grief. the first week or so I was barely eating, sleeping poorly and not drinking enough water at all. My DH kept on me to care for myself. I'm doing better with basic care but it's hard to focus on this baby and the upcoming birth at all.
A friend of mine asked if I was talking to the baby and telling him that I wasn't sad because of him that I'm very happy about him etc. And I was thinking, "nope! It didn't occur to me." So now I feel guilty that my baby is absorbing all my sadness--that and the fact that I can barely remember to eat, take my vitamins, drink my pregnancy tea etc. Could this be affecting my baby?
He made the decision to stop treatments and begin palliative care and just over a week later, he was gone.
I live over 2000 miles away and was making my travel plans. He died 12 hours before I got there.
Anyway, I'm also pregnant--almost 31 weeks along and it's all so emotional. My dad was soooo happy I was pregnant (I've had several pregnancy losses), and he was rooting for me. We knew the gender (boy) but were keeping it a secret. About 2 weeks before he passed I was talking to him on the phone and he was saying that he didn't know how long he'd be around (this was before he stopped treatment but had been thinking about it). So I broke the secret and told him it was a boy. He was overjoyed. This will be his 9th grandchild. The first born was a boy, then there were 8 girls, and this one--most likely the last, was another boy.
I'm struggling to take care of my pregnant self and prepare for this baby because I'm so overwhelmed with grief. the first week or so I was barely eating, sleeping poorly and not drinking enough water at all. My DH kept on me to care for myself. I'm doing better with basic care but it's hard to focus on this baby and the upcoming birth at all.
A friend of mine asked if I was talking to the baby and telling him that I wasn't sad because of him that I'm very happy about him etc. And I was thinking, "nope! It didn't occur to me." So now I feel guilty that my baby is absorbing all my sadness--that and the fact that I can barely remember to eat, take my vitamins, drink my pregnancy tea etc. Could this be affecting my baby?
I agree.
