pacifier/picky nurser

[dalia]

Hi folks.. So here is problem number one.. I have a very sweet and extremely active nine-month-old who since about 3 months has decided that he only wants to nurse lying down in bed. If I try to nurse him anywhere else (except sometimes in front pack) he will arch his back and refuse. I think it happened because for a while all we did was hang out at home and it was just easiest to nurse him lying down so that is what he got used to. Is it too late for us to make a change? To make matters worse (problem #2) he now seems to prefer his pacifiers (he wants TWO at bedtime/naps and I always give in because it is very hard to get him to sleep) as his way to calm down rather than the breast. I'm worried about my supply at this point...

I'm very sad. I don't want this bf-ing relationship to end! I also don't have the heart to take his pacifiers away. He is SO attached to them...

A little help? Looking for gentle solutions. And of course I know that giving a pacifier can jeopardize a bf-ing relationship but at six weeks he was so fussy and I was going nuts so this is the choice I made...

[jildez]

i seem to remeber my son seeming like he was going to cut back on nursing around 9 months, he started climbing and assisted walking and was just too busy to devote the time. Is this kind of what is going on?

How much solid food is he eating? perhaps if you offer fewer snacks and drinks he will be more interested.

As for the position and pacifier, i don't have much to offer. I did the laying down thing for a while because he was yanking me everywhere, but later, around 10 months, i started offering almost drive by nursings because he wasn't eating enough food but wouldn't devote time to nursing unless he was tired.

[dalia]

Did the drive-by nursing work? I think I'm going to start doing that. I thought about cutting back on the food but it is hard because he hasn't grown much in the last three months. I think it is because he is so active, but I still get a little nervous about it...

[jildez]

It did, he really liked the novelty of it, actually i try not to do too much of it now, i would like to get him to get hind milk too, but it made me feel better for a while. Be ready to pop him off if he tugs at you, but my son figured it out quickly. I also taught him the sign for milk about this time (one of three i have introduced) and i would ask and offer milk before food and drink, then after a little nursing, would give a snack. I am blessed, my mom and step mom both nursed all of us and i pick their brains for what they did that worked for them.

As for weight, i think its normal for them to slim down, get tall and not put on much weight once they start moving. My son hovered at 19 pounds from 8 months to a year- i was crazy worried, even though my mom said it was normal.

I just thought, is he bfing at night? i used to go to school and work when my son was btw 3 and 6 months old, so he has always nursed at night, so that is something else we do even now, its not for everyone, but when he has not wanted to nurse, i know i can put him on when hes newly asleep and he will have a complete feeding. I also usually nurse him right before i go to bed, so i have more sleep, so that could be two full feedings if you wanted to try that.

Good Luck!

[dalia]

Actually he has been nursing a lot at night for the past two nights. I am doing it on purpose because I was worried about my supply. I used to, half asleep, just pop the pacifier in his mouth when he stirred (he sleeps in our bed). But now I am trying to get him additional feedings and he is loving it. And tonight he fell asleep nursing instead of with one pacifier in his mouth and another in his hand!

I'm going to visit a very breastfeeding-knowledgeable friend this week. Hopefully she has some additional ideas about getting him to nurse in other places than the bed.

Thanks so much for the help! I'm glad I'm not alone.

[jildez]

i really hope your friend has better advice then me! i feel like a novice, so i'm not sure how helpful i am.

I was thinking about what else i could tell you as i ran around after my son today, and i realized we rarely nurse in the cradle hold anymore. For us, he often sits beside me or on one leg and faces me and nurses, does that make sense? kind of like a grown up football hold? Sometimes i shove a sofa pillow behind his head an he leans back or i set one next to me and he sits on it, since my boob is a little high for him.

reading your post, i am wondering if offering to nurse when he goes for the pacifer generally might also help- during the day, i mean, he might not be interested all the time, but sometimes he could be hungry. Just and idea.

[dalia]

I think I am going to try the additional holds you mentioned. I keep trying to do the cradle hold and he just can't relax into it. Also, I saw my friend today and she was nursing her little one while standing up and holding him, as if he were in a sling! I thought that was amazing and since my ds likes to nurse in the ergo carrier I think I am going to try it.

I do try to sneak the boob in when he is going for the pacifier. Unless he's lying down he usually doesn't go for it!!

Thanks again.

[JudiAU]

A lot of babies cut down nursing a bit around now. Add in a bit of nursing fussiness and pacifier love and it is demoralizing. But persist. My ds is helped by a pretty dark room and I try and catch a nap here and there. And when we are out it is always the car. Just fewer distractions. Annoying because I want to be out and proud but both my kids really needed the privacy