Having really vivid dreams about someone other than DH

[busymama77]

It's actually of a co-worker and it's driving me crazy. They are very 'real', if you will, and I've had them multiple times over the last two weeks. Could it be because I'm thriving and wanting to be with DH but am too exhausted to even get things started and therefore I just dream about it instead? It's been close to 3 months since we've DTD.
I don't like that I'm having these dreams, but it's gotta mean something, right?

The guy in the dream is one of the guys that I assist. Sure, he's 6 years younger, but he seems to be on the same page as me most of the time, we have things in common, he was so excited to meet my YDS when I brought him in a few weeks back, just genuinely nice and doesn't have the attitude that most guys I work with carry.

It drives me crazy because I wonder - why? Why now? Why him? What can I do to make them go away. I don't feel any different around him or act any different at work. That doesn't change at all....

Just weird, I guess.

[philomom]

You can't control your dreams. Just try to let it go.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

Those kinds of dreams usually aren't about sex, even though they seem to be. They are more often about connecting with a kindred spirit or remembering the feelings of being connected with a kindred spirit.

Is it possible to enjoy the feelings of connection and being known without encouraging the sexual energy?

One thing that works for me is to either talk a ton about my partner in a positive way, with that other person, or get the other person to talk about their partner (if he has one). Seems to shift the energy away from that sexual longing and more towards a real friendship and support.

[HappyMommy2]

Are you pregnant? That is my earliest symptom, and how I knew for sure that I needed to test!

[hollytheteacher]

Originally Posted by HappyMommy2

Are you pregnant? That is my earliest symptom, and how I knew for sure that I needed to test!

I was going to ask the same thing. I've had all kinds of crazy dreams recently. one involved a threesome with dh and someone else

[mom2happy]

Originally Posted by HappyMommy2

Are you pregnant? That is my earliest symptom, and how I knew for sure that I needed to test!

I am so glad Im not the only one.
I become such a hoochie in my pregnancy dreams when Im really not a very sexual person otherwise. I wish I could be somewhere in the middle for dh's sake.
By the third time I just thought it was funny.

[Phantaja]

Originally Posted by HappyMommy2

Are you pregnant? That is my earliest symptom, and how I knew for sure that I needed to test!

I was going to ask that, too. I have filthy dreams about everyone when I'm pregnant. Celebrities, neighbors, girls, guys, people on the street...odds are, if I'm pregnant and see another human being during the day, we're gettin' on that night.

[treeoflife3]

Originally Posted by HappyMommy2

Are you pregnant? That is my earliest symptom, and how I knew for sure that I needed to test!

add me to this list. I had insane sex dreams almost non stop.

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by HappyMommy2

Are you pregnant? That is my earliest symptom, and how I knew for sure that I needed to test!

Nope. Not at all. Just had a baby 4.5 months ago and within that 4.5 months, we've DTD once and I was not O'ing at the time.

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by treeoflife3

add me to this list. I had insane sex dreams almost non stop.

I did when I was pregnant - ALL of the time, but that's normal and it happened when I was pg with my first, too.
I wonder if it's because I've changed my diet and I've lost weight... Feeling better about myself.. Things like this?

And yes, I always talk about my DH with this other guy. He's helped me get signed football stuff for DH's bday and Christmas, a signed baseball for my son, etc., He jokes around when a cute girl solicits our office that I'm supposed to have her solicit his office - jokes like this. So who knows.....

[Kivgaen]

Originally Posted by busymama77

Nope. Not at all. Just had a baby 4.5 months ago and within that 4.5 months, we've DTD once and I was not O'ing at the time.

I too can echo the PPs about PG dreams, but I also have dreams like this when I'm O'ing...

Do you have feelings for this coworker? Do you love and want to be with your DH? If the answer to all of these questions is yes, if I were in your shoes, I would seriously consider changing jobs (not joking)...

If these dreams are really only that and you don't harbour any feelings for this guy (and are subconsciously looking for an escape from DH), then I don't see the harm in having a few nasty sex dreams! I have them all the time about other guys. (One of which happens to be the first one I fell in love with, or so I thought, but usually they are just faceless masculine bodies that I might have seen once in a porn flick). I've even told my DH about my strange sex dreams if I felt it appropriate, and it was actually quite a turn on for both of us!

You know in your heart whether or not you need to worry about these dreams -- no-one can answer that question for you. But if you and DH are great and not having problems, and this coworker is just that to you, then I wouldn't worry about a few erotic dreams. Enjoy them!

[simplify4balance]

I HAVE HAD SEX DREAMS ABOUT OTHER oops men when ovulating especially.
I really noticed that I had a lot of them when our sex life was low b/c of my lowered libido post partum. I was feeling really disconnected sexually and emotionally to DH. They got me excited in a way and maybe sparked my libido again... we are back at it :}

I think for me they come when I need to realize that sex is essential to my being well!

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by Kivgaen

I too can echo the PPs about PG dreams, but I also have dreams like this when I'm O'ing...

Do you have feelings for this coworker? Do you love and want to be with your DH? If the answer to all of these questions is yes, if I were in your shoes, I would seriously consider changing jobs (not joking)...

If these dreams are really only that and you don't harbour any feelings for this guy (and are subconsciously looking for an escape from DH), then I don't see the harm in having a few nasty sex dreams! I have them all the time about other guys. (One of which happens to be the first one I fell in love with, or so I thought, but usually they are just faceless masculine bodies that I might have seen once in a porn flick). I've even told my DH about my strange sex dreams if I felt it appropriate, and it was actually quite a turn on for both of us!

You know in your heart whether or not you need to worry about these dreams -- no-one can answer that question for you. But if you and DH are great and not having problems, and this coworker is just that to you, then I wouldn't worry about a few erotic dreams. Enjoy them!

No, not at all! He's a nice guy and we have things in common. That's it. I LOVE my DH. But like simplify4balance said, I feel like I've lost my libido post partum and am just trying to get it back - this seems to be the only thing working for me right now. We'll get there.

[Kivgaen]

Originally Posted by busymama77

No, not at all! He's a nice guy and we have things in common. That's it. I LOVE my DH. But like simplify4balance said, I feel like I've lost my libido post partum and am just trying to get it back - this seems to be the only thing working for me right now. We'll get there.

Then I wouldn't worry about it... People may or may not agree with my next statement, but I'm going to make it anyway! There's no law that says you can't be fantasizing about someone (or something) else when you are DTD with your partner! Lots and Lots of people have all kinds of wierd fantasies... it's not "cheating" on your DH if you are thinking of something else to help you get turned on. I mean, you aren't actually DOING anything with the other person, you don't honestly have those kinds of feelings for them... And it improves your sexual relationship with your DH. So what's the problem?

[EnchantedMamma]

I think your sexuality is just saying "Hello"

Maybe you can find some ways to express or get in touch with that that don't involve the coworker.

Go on a dress-up date with your DH. Dress up just for yourself. Read a racy story/novel.

Sex and sexuality are not the same thing.

[Punchy Kaby]

Originally Posted by EnchantedMamma

I think your sexuality is just saying "Hello"

Maybe you can find some ways to express or get in touch with that that don't involve the coworker.

Go on a dress-up date with your DH. Dress up just for yourself. Read a racy story/novel.

Sex and sexuality are not the same thing.

It is a challenge to re connect with the sexual part of ourselves after having a baby. I almost feel silly trying to be sexy with DH at first, but it is always worth it