I have a one-year-old DS who is very high needs. My first child, DD, is four now and she was a high needs baby, but she was pretty laid back compared to my DS. My DS mostly screamed every moment he was awake and not in my arms from two months old to about ten months. Then he started screaming a tiny bit less, and now he will crawl around and explore for a bit at 12 months. Still, he's incredibly intense, hungry but very picky about solid food, wants to nurse all the time, has a personal crisis every minute or so, and has an erratic sleep schedule. His temper is always explosive.
To give some background, I discovered he had a cow dairy intolerance around two months and I eliminated all cow dairy from my diet. That took care of that problem, but it didn't affect his screaming. He's one of those kids that will scream if anyone else holds him, but the moment he's handed to me, he immediately stops screaming and becomes a happy child. I've worn him in various baby carriers as much as I could stand it. I've practiced AP with him most of the time, but there have been plenty of days when I just couldn't do it anymore. I went on an antidepressant for the first time in my life when he was 7 months old because I was thinking about hurting both of us in my frustration. There have been many times when his babyhood has been a nightmare for me.
Granted, I need to take more alone time for myself, but it's really hard. In addition, I have a four-year-old DD who's very bright, loving, and needs stimulation and I can barely give her that. She's developed some anxiety issues and is starting to pull her eyelashes obsessively. We're lovingly working on that issue.
Now of course I'm facing friends and family who think I should wean DS now (at 12 months) because that could make him less mommy-focused. It's tempting because I get burned out on the frequent nursing and the constant nipple-biting, but I'm not going to wean him at the moment because it's one of the only things that keeps him from screaming. I do have a support network of crunchy attachment-parenting friends, but I've been unable to visit with them for a few weeks because of a lot of crazy-busy stuff in my life. (Which includes some health complications left over from my DS's birth a year ago... yet another issue that's caused me anxiety, but I think it's improved considerably with a recent medical procedure.)
I did a search and couldn't find a high needs-specific tribe. Any other mommies out there who could use the online support?
Kristin
To give some background, I discovered he had a cow dairy intolerance around two months and I eliminated all cow dairy from my diet. That took care of that problem, but it didn't affect his screaming. He's one of those kids that will scream if anyone else holds him, but the moment he's handed to me, he immediately stops screaming and becomes a happy child. I've worn him in various baby carriers as much as I could stand it. I've practiced AP with him most of the time, but there have been plenty of days when I just couldn't do it anymore. I went on an antidepressant for the first time in my life when he was 7 months old because I was thinking about hurting both of us in my frustration. There have been many times when his babyhood has been a nightmare for me.
Granted, I need to take more alone time for myself, but it's really hard. In addition, I have a four-year-old DD who's very bright, loving, and needs stimulation and I can barely give her that. She's developed some anxiety issues and is starting to pull her eyelashes obsessively. We're lovingly working on that issue.
Now of course I'm facing friends and family who think I should wean DS now (at 12 months) because that could make him less mommy-focused. It's tempting because I get burned out on the frequent nursing and the constant nipple-biting, but I'm not going to wean him at the moment because it's one of the only things that keeps him from screaming. I do have a support network of crunchy attachment-parenting friends, but I've been unable to visit with them for a few weeks because of a lot of crazy-busy stuff in my life. (Which includes some health complications left over from my DS's birth a year ago... yet another issue that's caused me anxiety, but I think it's improved considerably with a recent medical procedure.)
I did a search and couldn't find a high needs-specific tribe. Any other mommies out there who could use the online support?
Kristin
