WWYD? Regarding weekend time-Update#21(wording help) - Page 2

[Phoenix~Mama]

Okay, updated wording to this:

Parenting time will alternate every other weekend.

STBX's every other weekend parenting time began July 16, 2010, and will follow every other weekend going forward from this date.

Weekend parenting time will begin on Friday afternoons at 3:30 pm and end on Sunday afternoons at 1:00 pm.

I'm stuck on what to add in to cover minimal switches or how to handle that. It is inevitable that some things will come up that may require a switch, such as a family party. So I don't want to be a total hard line about no switches, but I don't want it to be every other month or something either...

Ideas for wording?

[greenemami]

Hi again Phoenix-I am interested in how this turns out for you, so just thought I'd drop my 2 cents in again

When dsd's mom and dp "switch" weekends, we never actually change the order of the weekends, if that makes sense. So, if dsd's mom needs an extra weekend, she might offer us another weekend to make up for it, but the actual weekends on the calendar stay as I marked them in the beginning of the year-so, one of us might end up missing two weekends in a row and then having two weekends in a row, but this way we can plan work schedules etc. in advance (both dp and dsd's mom work every other weekend, so we couldn't really change the weekends back and forth all the time).

So, perhaps you could write that in somewhere? I'm not sure how you could word it, but I really like it like this so that I can plan our weekends out way in advance without worrying about switching them mid-year. This is not written in our agreement, it is just what dp and is ex agreed on.

Good luck with all of this, I have been thinking of you and your situation!

[Ione]

Don't you already have a line in there about mutually agreed deviations from the schedule being possible?

If so, just run it by your lawyer to make sure it is placed and phrased in a way to cover the full scope of the parenting schedule.

Otherwise, how about:
"This every-other-weekend rotation continues regardless of the holiday schedule, which supersedes the weekend rotation as specified [above/below]. Further, in the case that the parties wish to occasionally deviate from this rotation to accommodate special events or scheduling needs, such deviations must be by mutual agreement and with at least 48 hours advance notice. Such deviations do not alter the every-other-weekend rotation, which shall continue as regularly scheduled."

But, your lawyer probably knows the standard wording used in the courts where you are to accomplish the same thing.

At this point, I'd probably bite the cash bullet and take an hour of your lawyer's time to go over the wording and ask her how that sort of thing should be phrased. It would be money well-spent, IMO, at this stage in the negotiations.

As for worrying about being too "hard-line, no switches", don't. Seriously. Make sure there are provisions in the PP that allow for "deviations from the schedule on mutual agreement and with advance notice that do not alter the schedule." That's all a parenting plan can do.

The rest is going to be up to you. You can be as flexible as you want. He'll want to jerk you around and mess around with only doing what he wants, with last minute changes. You'll still have to say "no, I can't agree to that change this time, we'll just have to stick to the agreement as it's written" at some point and then do it. Even if he gets pissy.

You have to stop looking at the parenting plan filed in court as something that will govern how you two go forward as co-parents post-divorce. Of course, it will, sort of. But in reality, all it is is a contract that the courts can enforce if/when you two can't agree. It is the "default option" that you can't/won't get in trouble for following when you don't want to go along with his whims. It is what the courts can enforce. Not what you and he have to do.