So pissed off

[dakotablue]

So I've posted before about MIL issues, which seemed honestly to be getting better. Dh has said from day one (wrongly I've said) that no one hates me or thinks I'm crazy.
So some background, other than major inlaw issues, Dh has a cousin who is pretty disabled, she is very social, but gets pretty much all of her view points from other people, just latches to what other say to fit in.

I posted some pictures on Facebook, one of which has DS in the dog crate. mind you its HUGE it fits our two standard poodles, DS love the crate. Dh thought it would be funny to close it for a second...it was funny, DS thought it was funny and tries to close it on himself all the time now.

Dh's cousin (who I am not mad and don't blame) Posted she was disappointed with the picture and tagged someone else. BIL responded, its a joke, its cute, why is this person tagged. Cousin, because they didn't believe me and couldn't see it. Its just wrong she's insane. BIL stop that.

the comments and tag have since been removed, but I still got the alerts.

I'm so pissed, because I know she didn't come up with this on her own, she also didn't comment on anything else which is what she does when she doesn't like someone. She likes everyone, unless she thinks she's not suppose to like someone. She has Williams syndrome.

This all just comes back to the fact that MIL talks or talked badly about me. A fact Dh is still choosing to ignore. ARRRRRGGGGGGGG

[gbailey]

Before I comment, would you clarify something. The cousin said you are insane?

[dakotablue]

Yes sorry that wasn't clear. Also, she is not the type to name call so it wasn't just about the photo.

[Stephenie]

I'm sorry. How frustrating.

My inlaws hate me. It took DH six and a half years of it to see it for what it was. It's really hard to think your parents are not what you want them to be.

[gbailey]

Originally Posted by dakotablue

Yes sorry that wasn't clear. Also, she is not the type to name call so it wasn't just about the photo.

What did your DH think about her comments? Honestly, I would have written a comment back. "Insane? No, just us having fun!"

Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about your mother in law talking badly about you but you can change the way you deal with her and her unkind behavior. I know it sounds easier said than done but when you stop caring what she thinks about you, it will change how she deals with you.

[mammal_mama]

Maybe you could just "unfriend" the cousin on facebook. It sounds like she never really makes her own comments anyway, and, personally, I'd rather have friends who speak for themselves or not at all.

[mammal_mama]

Maybe if more people responded to her as if they thought she really WERE speaking for herself, she would start doing so.

[Marsupialmom]

Are you sure that it was her? We have sibling friends that will post under each others name by accident.

Also other people could see the joke YOU are not the only one with those types of pictures.

[dakotablue]

I'm sorry I was unclear. I was angry when I wrote the first post and could have been clearer. Dh's cousin has a disability. This affects many things but most notably her social awareness. She thinks everyone is her friend, and isn't aware when people don't like her or are dangerous. Because of this (and as you can imagine the danger she could face) we have taught her to listen to others and use that as a measure of good/bad. So when it comes to social situations and impressions of others she is basing the good/bad of someone on others opinions as we have taught for her safety. She is doing well and becoming independent, we are hoping she may be able to live alone with frequent support eventually. We do treat her as if these are her own ideas, and often she may even think they are, but like I said this is a disability that affects her ability to do this. Also, like I've previously complained I've had issues with MIL, and *know* she 's talked about me.

I'm angry because her saying this reflects what others have said around her. Kinda like your 3 year old asking your Dad's new girl friend if he could come along the next time she digs for gold. Or asking your neighbor how many drinks she's had today as she's walking by your house.

[mammal_mama]

I decided that what I said really wasn't so helpful after all.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

It sounds like the cousin isn't the point at all - the point is that you were right that your MIL is saying mean things about you and thinks you're crazy.

And your DH can't see it.

And you need him to see it because you want his support and validation.