Support Suggestions

[healthy momma]

Wonderful friends of ours just had their first child, born at approximately 36 weeks. He weighed in at 4 lbs 7 oz and went straight to NICU, a warmer, and help breathing. Details are still sketchy but he is doing okay and I know Mom finally got to hold him. Yeah! I live across the country and would love to be of support. I know they are overwhelmed and have a hard time speaking up to get what they want from their health care providers. I certainly don't know what they are going through (my only child was born extremely healthy 2 years ago) and I don't want to step on any toes with any suggestions (kangaroo care, breastfeeding still being possible, etc.). Do any mommas who have been in my friends shoes have any suggestions for me as to what would be most helpful and supportive of them and what would not be welcome? Thanks for your thoughts.

[aramat]

Having a baby in the NICU was the hardest time I've ever been through emotionally. Here's what I appreciated/would have wanted...
- To know other people are thinking of and sending prayers and positive thoughts for my baby. I couldn't get tired of hearing that.
- Books about parenting a preemie--to have something "useful" to do when I wasn't able to hold my baby, and also to get a better idea what I could request of hospital staff.
- Food! I was spending 12-hr days alone at the hospital and was just too consumed and tired to think about eating. Nothing sounded appealing, so I was only eating cookies and juice most of the time...and even then, it was only to be able to make milk!

[healthy momma]

Originally Posted by aramat

- Books about parenting a preemie--to have something "useful" to do when I wasn't able to hold my baby, and also to get a better idea what I could request of hospital staff.

Thank you so much for your suggestions. Do you happen to have any books that you remember as specifically helpful?

[SilverFish]

gift certificates for food (if you know the name of the hospital, do a google search to see what kinds of things are near by) are SO useful... quick food/coffee stuff, or something for a real dinner. a cute little preemie outfit (think about whether the wires will have a place to come out, extra soft fabrics and easy closures) is nice for the last couple days and when at home... 4lb7oz means he won't be fitting into any of the stuff they probably had prepared. at 36 weeks, he may only be in the hospital for a few days, unless he has more profound issues. if they're out soon, then just regular baby gifts are fine.

[healthy momma]

I sent out an "I'm thinking of you" text this morning, ordered books and preemie outfits online to be delivered in two days, and am trying to track down the hospital so I can try to help out with some food in the nearby vicinity. Thank you both for the suggestions. It's so hard being far away and feeling like you can't do much.

[BookGoddess]

You received a lot of good suggestions. I want to add one more. A prepaid gas card. If the baby will be in the NICU for a while, the parents will be driving back and forth to the hospital a lot. Having a prepaid gas card is useful.

[justKate]

Originally Posted by healthy momma

I sent out an "I'm thinking of you" text this morning, ordered books and preemie outfits online to be delivered in two days, and am trying to track down the hospital so I can try to help out with some food in the nearby vicinity. Thank you both for the suggestions. It's so hard being far away and feeling like you can't do much.

That's good. One important thing is not to necessarily expect texts or phone calls back from the parents. They might be too overwhelmed. But of course don't stop letting them know you care!

[aramat]

Originally Posted by healthy momma

Thank you so much for your suggestions. Do you happen to have any books that you remember as specifically helpful?

Dr Sears' "The Premature Baby Book" was a good one for me.

[healthy momma]

Originally Posted by aramat

Dr Sears' "The Premature Baby Book" was a good one for me.

Yay! This is the one I chose!