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Can apartment manager keep me from hb? - Page 2

post #21 of 35
nope they can't stop you. and don't let them tell you otherwise!
post #22 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
I'm rather surprised that some are advising telling the neighbors ahead of time. I mean, I understand that it's perfectly legal and all, but I guess I'd be paranoid that some "concerned" individual might call 911 and say there's a woman giving birth at home and she needs help ...

And probably nothing would come of it. It probably wouldn't happen, and if it did your dh could turn the medics away at the door -- but I'm just thinking it's easier to avoid all that from the beginning by not saying anything in the first place.
Actually, we're hoping for just the opposite. We own our home, so we don't have the same worries as the OP, but we do live in a duplex (it's basically a townhome but with only one side attached). We warned our (two female) neighbors a few months ago, and will probably mention it again next time we seem them outside because I'm due any day. I basically said, "Just so you know, I'm due the first week of August and planning to have a homebirth in the master bedroom. So if you here me yelling or anything around that time, nothing's wrong, don't call the police or get worried. There is a certified midwife coming." And all they said was, "Cool, good for you." That was the end of it. I don't expect a problem from them- if I have one I'll update! If anything I imagine they might knock on the door if I'm REALLY loud to ask if they can help with anything. We don't know them well, but they're good neighbors.

On the other side, our neighbors are the local fire and ambulance corps. When we looked at the house, my immediate thought was that this made it perfect for a homebirth. I could yell out my window and have an ambulance in minutes! It's also a great excuse to all my friends/family who are concerned that a homebirth would be unsafe. We decided to let the paramedics know what we were planning. We explained that a CNM would be there, that we had done natural births before, etc. They weren't worried at all! They simply said that if we decided we needed a quick transfer we should send someone over immediately. The best part was that they actually offered to send one or two paramedics over as "helpers" even if we didn't want to go to the hospital.That'd be a weird situation to need that, but I thought it was nice. DH thinks that they saw this as a good opportunity to get some training on what happens in a natural birth- they probably rarely see that in my neighborhood. I was pleasantly surprised about how open and accepting they were of the idea. They also said I should bring the baby over to say hello when we were ready.

Ok, sorry that was off topic, but I thought it was cool and surprising.
post #23 of 35
That is pretty cool, EMAID.
post #24 of 35
Those who would tell the neighbors in advance - why? Because of the noise level? I was worried about this before my last birth as well, because the walls are a bit thin and you can hear other people going about their business sometimes. Someone on MDC told me to put some music on, and the neighbors would probably assume there the noises they heard during labor were sex. Nobody would call the police on your for having sex in your apartment, right?
post #25 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by MittensKittens View Post
Those who would tell the neighbors in advance - why? Because of the noise level? I was worried about this before my last birth as well, because the walls are a bit thin and you can hear other people going about their business sometimes. Someone on MDC told me to put some music on, and the neighbors would probably assume there the noises they heard during labor were sex. Nobody would call the police on your for having sex in your apartment, right?
Through most of my last labor I was just moaning quite quietly. But the last 45 minutes were intense and I got LOUD. I mean I screamed. What started as a low moan at the beginning of a contractions turned to high pitched screaming noises at the peak of one. Pushing/crowing was similar. I was saying things like "I DON'T WANT TO" and at one point (probably when I tore) screamed pretty loudly. So, for me I could see neighbors getting the wrong idea in that last 45 minutes. Chances are that by that time they already have figured out what's going on, but you never know. Also, my douplex is pretty much paper thin. We know exactly where my neighbor is in his house at all times and vise versa. Even though the cops can't do anything if they come, it's not something I want to deal with in labor. And more importantly it's not something I want to be worried about if I don't prepare for all of the possibilities before hand. But that's all a personality thing and a personal decision based on my last labor.
post #26 of 35
I know this is old but I wanted to post for future people who come looking for answers to the same question.

The following is from Waterbirth Internationals website and was written about the Birth Pool in a Box

"Is there any danger of the pool falling through my floor?
In over 6,000 pool rentals, we have never had a pool fall through the floor. The weight of the pool is equivalent to 4 large adults sitting around a table. Water weighs 8.2 pounds per gallon, so once filled, the pool weights approximately 840 pounds."

An AquaBorn is a little large capacity at 170 gallons so 6 large adults sitting at a table is probably a great visualization.
post #27 of 35
OP, sorry that your Dh spilled the beans! My Dh loves to tell everyone that we have our babies at home, and I'm always left to deal with the questions! DD1 was born in our tiny apartment -- and as for telling the neighbors, I wouldn't bother. Our upstairs neighbors never had a clue that we had a baby just below them, and I was not quiet at all! It was the middle of the night, and they were definitely there... we could hear them!
post #28 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by laohaire View Post
Just from my experience - I was vocal but it wasn't screaming bloody murder or anything. I think that's pretty rare.

If my neighbors had heard me I think they would have assumed my DH discovered some Tantric techniques.

And I think it goes without saying that they would have left us alone.


Same!

We're debating on whether to tell people or not. We live in a large complex. The last home birth we were renting but it was a privately-owned complex and more mellow regarding 'rules' and such.
post #29 of 35
is there something in your lease that states you cant? if it aint in the lease, then you're good to go!

we live in an nyc highrise.. as you can imagine.. these walls are mighty thin. we're having a homebirth too.. it isnt something i plan on running by my building manager though.. i dont even know how id start that conversation!

"hey pete.. sooo... i'm thinking about delivering this baby in a kiddie pool near the dining room.. do you think that will be a problem? can i still get my deposit back after that?"

lmao!
post #30 of 35
can you play it off as a joke if you need to? if you're worried about harassment, that is. sometimes better to avoid the battle.

you could just say, "oh, the last birth went by so fast. my husband's cracking jokes about the next." technically, you're not SAYING you intend to go to the hospital...

my husband is hoping to drop the bomb to our manager around the due date, maybe shortly after. just to have the pleasure of giving the jerk a conniption.

they can't do anything to stop you. they can only make it a hassle.
post #31 of 35
With those concerned about waterbirthing violating the lease. We had a large aquarium that our landlord knew about. We assured them that our renter's insurance would cover anywater damage and gave them a copy of our policy so that they wouldn't be worried about it.

But we didn't tell them about us having a home water birth in advance. We told our immediate neighbors so we wouldn't get the police called on us and put a sign on the door that said "Labor in progress, do not disturb". Our neighbors claimed to have not heard anything. After the birth when we went over to the manager's office with baby in hand I told her she was born at home. She thought that was really cool and told us she used to be a midwife herself.
post #32 of 35
I'm not comfortable having a birthing pool, but it's more because I don't want to deal with the damage if it leaks. If I had a different style of apartment I might be okay with it, but I have a townhouse so the only place that's on the ground floor is the garage.

I haven't decided about telling the neighbors, because we do have really thin walls, to the point where sometimes we overhear conversations.

I'm not telling my apartment manager just because I don't think it's really any of their business. It's a huge complex, so it's not like I really know the management. but if I did there would be nothing they could do about it.
post #33 of 35
I'm having a HB in our apartment next Jan. As far as the screaming, I'm sure it'll be more controlled and quieter than many of the "drunk fights" I've heard around this joint.

As for the apartment managers, it's none of their beeswax. Giving birth is legal, for Pity's sake.

/sigh. People.
post #34 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by emc03 View Post
my husband is hoping to drop the bomb to our manager around the due date, maybe shortly after. just to have the pleasure of giving the jerk a conniption.
I like the way your husband thinks!!!
post #35 of 35
You've gotten some awesome responses already. But just to chip in...

We're planning an apartment HB too. We are in one of 4 apartments in a big old farmhouse build in the 19th century. The walls are a bit thin, suffice to say.

DH was worried about this same issue. Would our landlord try to stop us if we told them? Would the neighbors call the apt manager, or worse, the cops?

My take on it is, there is some concern maybe for the apt manager trying to stop you before hand. But honestly, everyone here is dead on. They've no leg to stand on with that nonsense. My take on it is, we made this baby in our apartment, didn't we? We can birth it here too.

As for the neighbors, if you choose not to tell them beforehand, a sign is a good idea. I kind of fall back on the idea that you'd have to be a pretty gigantic jerk to see a sign like that, then still elect to call someone to try to interrupt someone birthing. I mean, that's pretty cold, my friend. I don't think most people are that, well, ballsy. At least they aren't in the midwest where we're from. And I tend to take full advantage of that.
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