|Originally posted by Mothra
And let's assume that woman in the mall with the screaming baby in the mall doesn't know any better. What does that say about our society that she doesn't have the resources she needs to efffectively and safely parent her child? What does that say about us if we sit here and rip her apart? What else could we do that would actually help the situation?
Just FWIW, I meant that the mom at the mall wouldn't know that I was talking about her, not that she didn't know any better ways to parent.
If I am having an issue with one of my kids in the mall, and someone sees and misinterprets what is going on, then goes home and talks about what a terrible mom I am, what do I care? I don't know I'm being talked about. If I heard her, on any given day I wouldn't even know it was me she was talking about. I know I'm not a terrible mom, and I know I'm not perfect. That about covers it, really.
Also, I really don't interfere much with other parents. If I see someone who is obviously in need of assistance, then I offer it. If I see someone screaming away at a child, or dragging a toddler along too fast, something like that, I usually don't say too much. I've lost it, I've had friends loose it, having someone in your face pointing out that you have lost it doesn't usually help. I was also with a friend who got screamed at herself, in front of her own children, for offering to help an out of control parent once. Made a lasting impression on me.
I recently gave a mom a ride that I picked up on the side of the road. It was raining, and she was walking, tugging along a toddler who was trying hard to go a different way, and carrying a baby. That same day, I walked away from a mom who was yelling at her preschooler in the grocery store, because I didn't think it was my business. I guess we all draw our own line when it comes to where to help and when to leave it.
I still don't think if I had come here and posted about how sad and irritating it was that the one mom was screaming at her child that I would have been doing that mom a great disservice. For all I know she is also a great AP mom, just having a bad moment. I didn't tell her to her face I thought she was being rude to her own child, and she would never know that I came here and said that she was.
What's more, if you should see me screaming at my own child in the mall, and come here and post that I wasn't being a good mom, I would agree with you. I wasn't being a good AP parent at that time, I wasn't working with my child the way I should. That doesn't mean I am never a good mom, does it? That doesn't mean that if you screamed at your child yesterday at the mall, and you read about me that you should feel that you are also not a good mom, does it? Or that if you weren't your best right then that you are never a good mom? IMO it shouldn't, anyway.