|Originally posted by suseyblue
we've been over the fact that those of us who consider ourselves militant bfers are NOT judging ffers who adopted, had reconstructive surgery, breast cancer, etc. can there be one place we can just rip our hair out & go 'ACCCKKKK!'?
Exactly. When I hear people complain about how "judgmental" everybody here is, I wonder how many other online forums they've hung out on. Yes, we have our weirdos here, our extremists, our post-before-you-think types....but I honestly think it is unfair to decide that MDC is so judgemental. I really have to say, and I mean this in a loving way, if reading strangers venting online upsets you that much, you should really do some soul-searching to find out why you need that sort of validation? Overall, I see FAR more loving support here than nasty judgementalness (is that a word?
). How many "I'm a bad mama threads" pop up here where everybody reassures the OP that she is just a normal mama having a normal mama moment. Where are the judgmental comments then?
And I really, really feel the need to address the signature thing. I have heard a number of times how some people interpret that as bragging about how AP you are. Well again, I ask what are your own issues? Because I don't see it that way at all. If your friend ran a 20 k marathon and got a shirt attesting to that, would you consider her wearing it to be bragging? Would you feel "insulted" because YOU can't run a 20 k marathon? Of course not! You're proud of your friend for achieving something that a) meant a lot to her and b) required a whole lot of effort. And since you could care less about running a 20 k marathon the fact that you are currently physically incapable of doing that doesn't make you instantly feel like a failure, does it?
I actually got in a huge flame war on a mainstream board once b/c a FF mom decided my "proud BFing" signature was somehow implying that she had nothign to be proud of for going right to formula. Well, dammit, exclusively BFing a child for six months was something I DID have to work hard at, in terms of battling a society where it's normal to feed pudding to a 3 month old and nobody has ever HEARD of a baby who has never had a bottle. I had stupid docs telling me, in my deeply emotional post-partum state, that I was going to have to supplement b/c my healthy, peeing-and-pooping like a racehorse, 4 day old baby was "losing too much weight". I'm proud of those things but it sure doesn't mean that I'm slagging anybody who used a bottle! So when you read a signature, why can't you just be happy and proud for that mama that she did the research, battled the odds, and accomplished something she wanted to. I could care less if her goals aren't the same as mine.
There, got that off my chest!
|Originally posted by mothersong
When I see threads with people complaining, to me it is the action, not the person, they are complaining about.