My heart goes out to you. For birth of DS1, we were disqualified from birthing center at the last minute. He was estimated large and I was labeled "too much amniotic fluid." It broke my heart to have to go to the hospital, where my husband wouldn't be allowed to stay overnight with us. I was basically told: get induced in the hospital tomorrow, or have a c/s next week, but either way, the birthing center was out.
The number one thing I will tell you is that I wish I had known more about getting induced with pitocin. At the point where I knew that was going to happen, I wish I had known whether I should say yes to the epidural as well. An hour after refusing the epidural, it took my best friend to convince me I was asking my body to do something ridiculous - to continue with the "natural" birth plan (without pain medication) when I was already introducing non-natural drugs to induce labor. I will tell you: I don't know if it is possible or recommended by anyone to do pitocin without pain meds. But the important part of this lesson is I DIDN'T KNOW, and that caused fear. So, find out before you go in.
The second thing I will tell you: if you do have pitocin and/or epidural and experience a retention of water after a week, and/or problems with breastmilk supply - eat cucumbers, parsley, and lemon. Drink red raspberry leaf and nettle tea (RRL not safe DURING pregnancy) - I drank a pitcher a day of it iced. Those drugs seem to keep the fluids in your body in the wrong places, and the aforementioned natural remedies went a long way to putting me back in order.
I had spent so much time planning for natural childbirth, trying to AVOID a hospital birth, and casting it in a negative light, I hadn't paid that much attention to what to expect in case I ended up there. Looking back now, I think what would have helped me a lot at that point was really going over what to expect in the hospital - with the person who would be administering my care. My midwives attended, but I sort of felt like the first one wasn't that good at dealing with the hospital procedures and equipment. For instance, because my water hadn't broken and I had so much amniotic fluid, I wasn't feeling the pain, but I was feeling the tightening of the contractions increase with increased pitocin, but the monitor was not hooked up right, so my midwife kept upping the dosage. The second-shift midwife was more familiar with that machine, and basically knocked it upside its head and reset it, and saw that the contractions were getting stronger. There were other things, too. When they told me I'd have to be at the hospital, they were vague about what that was going to mean. I didn't know they were going to break my water for me, for example, and I think had I had a sort of flow chart (no pun intended) of what was likely to happen, I would have felt a little more calm about the whole thing.
Same for my husband. He was terrified the whole time, and it prevented us from practicing some of the calming rituals we had planned in childbirth class. Make sure your birth support team gets on board with the new plan, and embraces it. But make sure you all also encorporate whatever natural strategies you can transfer with you to the hospital.
I also wish I had gone to visit the hospital and maternity area before giving birth - I think it would have been less scary to me that way.
Mine was a very disappointing experience, except for the wonderful baby we ended up with. It took me weeks to let go of my disappointment. I was very happy about the baby, but felt I had been cheated out of the birth I had envisioned. What helped me at that point was really doing some rituals of mourning and letting go. (Plus the lemon-cucumber-parsley and tea!) After some sobbing and releasing all that pent-up frustration, not only was I able to be happier in my day-to-day life, but it was at that point that my body started to let go of the fluid I had been retaining since the end of my pregnancy! It was like I had been holding on to being pregnant because I felt I had missed out on the birth I wanted! I lost about 30 pounds in the next week or so - no joke!
I hope you can reallign your vision for a positive birth with the reality of where you will be. I think you can avoid *some* of the disappointment that way. But don't let anyone tell you not to be disappointed that you can't be at home! Tell those people to go away and come back when they can be more sympathetic, and bring you some flowers as an apology.
Lots of hugs,
Rachel
mom to Jonah 6/19/2009
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