Divorce vs. Separation

[madeofstardust]

I'm not sure which one I want. I'm not sure if H and I can work our relationship out at all, and I'm really leaning towards can't.
I'm moving out on Saturday, or at least, that's the day I get the keys to my house. H is kind of ok with getting a divorce, he feels like he's definitely not going to want to get back together within the next year, at least.
There's no reason to file for a legal separation, we have no assets or money or anything, so it's pretty pointless. He absolutely refuses to do that, which I understand.
We currently get food stamps, which is all we qualify for. I don't think I'll qualify for anything else if we stay married, but if we're divorced I'm pretty sure I could get temporary cash assistance as well as medicaid and possibly even section 8 housing or some sort of subsidized housing.
I'm also not sure how to work out the custody agreement. How do you file for custody if you aren't separated? I feel so clueless and lost in all of this crap.

[doubledutch]

i can't see any reason here for you to be separated, but i do see reasons to go ahead with a divorce. living in limbo isn't good.

[One_Girl]

I was separated from my ex for a year before we divorced, but we were both not ready for the official cut that divorce is at the time. You can get temporary custody and support orders as you work out the divorce decree and being married but separated shouldn't affect your state assistance. We don't have legal separation where I live and it still didn't affect the state help that I received. It sounds like you and your husband are ready to divorce though and it might be easier to agree on custody and visitation together, have the court clerk do the calculations for CS, and file for divorce without a lawyer if you are at a stage where things are amicable. It is much easier to file when things are amicable than to file when you have gotten over wanting to have anything to do with each other at all and have to call in attorneys. It is also much cheaper.